Babies and general Uncledom
Warning: This entry may contain too many uses of the word 'Tiny'.
I suppose I should lead off with a little background information - Tiny people make me nervous. The smaller they are, the more nervous I feel. They're just so small... and delicate... and breakable. I'm always frightened I'm going to drop them whenever people ask me if I want to hold their child.
I became an uncle about 3 months ago. Since that day, I knew I'd have to meet her at some point. Don't get me wrong, I really wanted to meet her. In fact at first I was just excited about the whole thing. But then it crept up on me.
She's not just my niece.
Shes my tiny niece.
Tiny!
And she really is. The nerves had been building up for a while, these horrible visions of a future in which I would drop my niece and end up seriously harming her or potentially killing her. That, of course, did not happen, since I'm not a total klutz, but it didn't stop me worrying about it! I guess I'm just a worrier (sadly not its homophone, a warrior - that would be much cooler!).
In the actual version of events, my tiny, tiny niece Lili is lovely. Though she does show far too much interest in her parent's liquor cabinet....
Repeat after me Lili - Tequila is bad!
Plus, I don't think she appreciated my deconstruction of the story of the three little pigs. Look, its weird that people would give building material to pigs. For free. It's also very weird that once they all start living in the third house the third brother doesn't mention anything about rent. These stories do nothing to prepare children for the realities of life!
...I shouldn't branch out into children's literature. I'm not sure I have the right mindset for it.