Today's FF Highlights
Beth, read this one. It's over on Fiction Alley, of course.
Title: Birds of a Feather ...
Author name: The Dork Lord
>"Taking Potions at N.E.W.T level was taking it's toll on the Boy Who Lived. He had his notebook in his lap, except the potion notes stopped halfway down the open page. After that it consisted of 'Death to the Greasy Bastard' over and over again."
>""Hedwig!" exclaimed Harry.
"Pig!" yelled Ron.
"Harry!" shouted Seamus, who had just been woken up.
"Ron!" cried Dean, who had also been woken up.
"Snape!" screamed Neville, who was still half asleep.
"Hoot!" said Pig, which for the sake of the reader, meant 'Guys, a little privacy please?' Ron and Harry both turned to each other, both equally red in the face.
"What is your owl doing with Hedwig?" demanded Harry.
"What is your owl doing with Pigwidgeon?" enquired Ron.
"Oh no, you're not pinning this on Hedwig! This is all Pig's fault!" Harry turned to his three roommates. "And you three! Pig was sexually assaulting my owl and you didn't do anything about it? Weren't you a little suspicious about the loud hooting coming from my bed?"
"We're selectively heavy sleepers," explained Dean before going back to sleep.
>Hedwig was pulling Harry's socks out of his drawer and placing them around something inside her cage. Something that looked very much like an egg. Hedwig spotted her owner and the ginger kid at the door.
"To wit to woo!" she said, which pretty much meant 'Surprise!' Sparks flew.
"That stupid little flying tennis ball! I'll kill him!"
"Now hang on a sec, Harry. We don't even know if Pig is the father."
"What are you implying? You're saying that Hedwig is some kind of owl hussy, aren't you?"
"Well now that you mention it, I saw her giving Errol a funny sideways glance over the summer!"
"She's an owl, you dolt! They always look at each other that way!" Their shouts carried down to the common room, the Slytherin common room that is. Luckily it was Hermione that came running to shut them both up ...one way or another. When Hermione saw the egg nestled cosily in Hedwig's cage, she was overcome with warm fuzzy feelings and the like.
"Guys, why are you arguing? This is a good thing. Hedwig's going to be a mother and she doesn't need you getting all heated up over it, Harry."
"I just want to know if Pig will do the honourable thing and look after the chick with Hedwig," stated Harry.
"Harry, will you please stop talking out of your ass! He's a bloody owl! He has a very tiny brain!" exclaimed Ron.
Title: Birds of a Feather ...
Author name: The Dork Lord
>"Taking Potions at N.E.W.T level was taking it's toll on the Boy Who Lived. He had his notebook in his lap, except the potion notes stopped halfway down the open page. After that it consisted of 'Death to the Greasy Bastard' over and over again."
>""Hedwig!" exclaimed Harry.
"Pig!" yelled Ron.
"Harry!" shouted Seamus, who had just been woken up.
"Ron!" cried Dean, who had also been woken up.
"Snape!" screamed Neville, who was still half asleep.
"Hoot!" said Pig, which for the sake of the reader, meant 'Guys, a little privacy please?' Ron and Harry both turned to each other, both equally red in the face.
"What is your owl doing with Hedwig?" demanded Harry.
"What is your owl doing with Pigwidgeon?" enquired Ron.
"Oh no, you're not pinning this on Hedwig! This is all Pig's fault!" Harry turned to his three roommates. "And you three! Pig was sexually assaulting my owl and you didn't do anything about it? Weren't you a little suspicious about the loud hooting coming from my bed?"
"We're selectively heavy sleepers," explained Dean before going back to sleep.
>Hedwig was pulling Harry's socks out of his drawer and placing them around something inside her cage. Something that looked very much like an egg. Hedwig spotted her owner and the ginger kid at the door.
"To wit to woo!" she said, which pretty much meant 'Surprise!' Sparks flew.
"That stupid little flying tennis ball! I'll kill him!"
"Now hang on a sec, Harry. We don't even know if Pig is the father."
"What are you implying? You're saying that Hedwig is some kind of owl hussy, aren't you?"
"Well now that you mention it, I saw her giving Errol a funny sideways glance over the summer!"
"She's an owl, you dolt! They always look at each other that way!" Their shouts carried down to the common room, the Slytherin common room that is. Luckily it was Hermione that came running to shut them both up ...one way or another. When Hermione saw the egg nestled cosily in Hedwig's cage, she was overcome with warm fuzzy feelings and the like.
"Guys, why are you arguing? This is a good thing. Hedwig's going to be a mother and she doesn't need you getting all heated up over it, Harry."
"I just want to know if Pig will do the honourable thing and look after the chick with Hedwig," stated Harry.
"Harry, will you please stop talking out of your ass! He's a bloody owl! He has a very tiny brain!" exclaimed Ron.