Sometimes You Can't Make It on Your Own, Chapter Seven
To be quite honest, I don't remember what I wanted to do with this story. It's been so long! Oh well. Thinking about legal proceedings makes my head hurt (and I haven't done it the way it's usually done; I think I fast forwarded like 100 thousand times), so hopefully it still makes sense.
Olivia went home feeling like she was floating above her physical self in the taxi. All she wanted to do was flop onto her bed and blissfully replay the kiss with Alex. However, her brain wasn't used to bliss, and her normal mindset of mentally running over all current cases flooded in as she lay with her head against the cool leather of the surprisingly clean cab.
And then there was the annoying feeling that Alex was probably going to regret what happened. The two women had been friends long enough to know each other fairly well, and it didn't take being Alex's best friend to know that the ADA's life was comprised of neatly slotting together various pieces that would help her get higher up the ladder of--
"Fuck," Olivia murmured out loud, her head beginning to hurt. "You and your stupid career, Lex," she grumbled to herself, even though she knew full well that she was just as obsessed with her job as Alex was, except she wasn't as concerned about getting promoted as she was about putting the perps away.
She spent the rest of the night kept awake by Howard Taylor and child pornography, mixed in with snippets of worry about what things would be like with Alex tomorrow. Maybe she wouldn't even have the chance to see her friend.
----
As it were, Olivia's desk telephone rang halfway while she was having lunch. "Benson," she answered, her mouth full of the turkey sandwich Elliot had dropped on her desk two hours before.
"I can call back if you're busy," Alex's amused voice filtered through the receiver.
"Alex! Hi!" Olivia quickly chewed and swallowed the remainder of the bite and dusted her hands. "Uh, what's up?"
"Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to have lunch, but I think you're way ahead of me."
"I'm always up for more food," Olivia supplied helpfully. "Quiet day at the office?"
"Not really, actually," came the reply. "But I'm getting out while I can, which is why I called. Meet you in twenty?"
"Yeah, of course." Olivia's mind began to run through all the possible scenarios upon meeting Alex for the first time since yesterday; would it be totally normal -- it was sounding like a totally normal conversation right now -- or would they be awkward with each other, like two teenage kids talking to each other in the hallway after an ambiguous date the night before? "I'll see you soon."
"Bye," Alex said, and hung up before Olivia could reply.
Well, we've never lingered with our farewells, Olivia thought, so that's a tick in the normal column...
Twenty minutes later, Alex found Olivia sitting on the windowsill opposite the squad elevators, fidgeting with her badge. "Hi," she greeted the detective, resisting the impulse to kiss her. She could still remember the feel of Olivia's body, flush against hers as Liv pinned her against her front door, their tongues--
"Earth to Alex..."
Olivia was staring at her, her eyebrow cocked and a slight grin on her face as if she knew what Alex had been thinking of. Alex blinked behind her glasses, realising that she and Olivia had taken the elevator downstairs and were now standing on the street outside the precinct's building. "Where do you want to go?" Olivia repeated.
"I don't know, I just wanted to spend some time with you before Liz gave me more files to be devoured by."
This time, Olivia was fully grinning. "There's a great little cafe just down the road if you have to get back quickly," she suggested.
"Sounds good."
Falling into step with one another, they soon reached the Star Cafe, choosing one of the small, round, two-seater tables outside. They were quickly attended to, and while waiting for their food, Alex noticed that Olivia was paying a lot of attention to the drinks menu. Yet Olivia was careful never to drink while on the job, and Alex remarked upon it.
"I wasn't really looking at the drinks," Olivia confessed under Alex's keen gaze.
"What is it, then?"
There was a long pause. "Last night."
"Ah," Alex said. Privately, she had been both hoping and dreading the advent of the impending conversation. As much as she wanted to further her relationship with Olivia after the catalyst that was last night, she felt too deeply ingrained in her career advancement and didn't know if she could quit. "It's like an addiction," she muttered.
"I'm sorry?"
"I--" Alex began, but hesitated. "I'm just thinking about what I've been thinking about all day."
Olivia laughed slightly. "Well, if it's what I've been thinking about all day, then I'm thinking about it, too."
"I have to know what you want to do before I can tell you what I want to do," Alex blurted out, just as the waiter came with their food. She stared at her salad and juice.
"That's funny, I was going to say the same thing. Because, for the whole of last night, I couldn't help thinking about the reason why you're in this job."
There was something about Olivia's tone that made Alex feel compelled to answer, even though the detective hadn't said it like a question. Maybe this is how she gets them to confess. "I wanna get somewhere."
"And I don't really fit in that 'somewhere.'"
Alex's head shot up, her blue eyes wide behind the glasses of justice. "That's not true," she said, perhaps a little too quickly. "You're my best friend; you fit. You fit in perfectly," she whispered.
Olivia looked slightly pained. "I fit in perfectly... as a friend. I know you, Alex. You don't know if you can quit your ambition to have me as... as your lover."
She wanted to refute that, she really did, but Alex didn't have the words when she knew Olivia had her in a nutshell. You're overthinking things, a part of her yelled at herself, but that's how Alex had spent her entire life surviving; by overthinking things, and she didn't know how to stop now, especially not when Olivia was right opposite her, making her feel like she was everything and nothing at all.
A shrill ringing broke their silence. Damn phones, always getting in the way at the most crucial time. Alex dug in her briefcase for hers, while Olivia dug in her pocket, and they pulled them out at the same time. "It's mine," Olivia said, "It's Elliot." Flipping the cover, she turned away briefly and Alex watched as Olivia spoke quickly and tersely into her cellphone.
"I have to go," Olivia told Alex, when she'd hung up. She didn't bother to elaborate further, and Alex didn't ask. A part of her felt relieved that they weren't continuing their conversation. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Alex said. You weren't last night. "I should get back, too."
"Want me to walk with you?"
"No," she declined, "Elliot needs you. I'll talk to you later."
Olivia offered her a small smile as she righted the collar of her jacket. "Okay. I'll call you."
Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six
Olivia went home feeling like she was floating above her physical self in the taxi. All she wanted to do was flop onto her bed and blissfully replay the kiss with Alex. However, her brain wasn't used to bliss, and her normal mindset of mentally running over all current cases flooded in as she lay with her head against the cool leather of the surprisingly clean cab.
And then there was the annoying feeling that Alex was probably going to regret what happened. The two women had been friends long enough to know each other fairly well, and it didn't take being Alex's best friend to know that the ADA's life was comprised of neatly slotting together various pieces that would help her get higher up the ladder of--
"Fuck," Olivia murmured out loud, her head beginning to hurt. "You and your stupid career, Lex," she grumbled to herself, even though she knew full well that she was just as obsessed with her job as Alex was, except she wasn't as concerned about getting promoted as she was about putting the perps away.
She spent the rest of the night kept awake by Howard Taylor and child pornography, mixed in with snippets of worry about what things would be like with Alex tomorrow. Maybe she wouldn't even have the chance to see her friend.
----
As it were, Olivia's desk telephone rang halfway while she was having lunch. "Benson," she answered, her mouth full of the turkey sandwich Elliot had dropped on her desk two hours before.
"I can call back if you're busy," Alex's amused voice filtered through the receiver.
"Alex! Hi!" Olivia quickly chewed and swallowed the remainder of the bite and dusted her hands. "Uh, what's up?"
"Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to have lunch, but I think you're way ahead of me."
"I'm always up for more food," Olivia supplied helpfully. "Quiet day at the office?"
"Not really, actually," came the reply. "But I'm getting out while I can, which is why I called. Meet you in twenty?"
"Yeah, of course." Olivia's mind began to run through all the possible scenarios upon meeting Alex for the first time since yesterday; would it be totally normal -- it was sounding like a totally normal conversation right now -- or would they be awkward with each other, like two teenage kids talking to each other in the hallway after an ambiguous date the night before? "I'll see you soon."
"Bye," Alex said, and hung up before Olivia could reply.
Well, we've never lingered with our farewells, Olivia thought, so that's a tick in the normal column...
Twenty minutes later, Alex found Olivia sitting on the windowsill opposite the squad elevators, fidgeting with her badge. "Hi," she greeted the detective, resisting the impulse to kiss her. She could still remember the feel of Olivia's body, flush against hers as Liv pinned her against her front door, their tongues--
"Earth to Alex..."
Olivia was staring at her, her eyebrow cocked and a slight grin on her face as if she knew what Alex had been thinking of. Alex blinked behind her glasses, realising that she and Olivia had taken the elevator downstairs and were now standing on the street outside the precinct's building. "Where do you want to go?" Olivia repeated.
"I don't know, I just wanted to spend some time with you before Liz gave me more files to be devoured by."
This time, Olivia was fully grinning. "There's a great little cafe just down the road if you have to get back quickly," she suggested.
"Sounds good."
Falling into step with one another, they soon reached the Star Cafe, choosing one of the small, round, two-seater tables outside. They were quickly attended to, and while waiting for their food, Alex noticed that Olivia was paying a lot of attention to the drinks menu. Yet Olivia was careful never to drink while on the job, and Alex remarked upon it.
"I wasn't really looking at the drinks," Olivia confessed under Alex's keen gaze.
"What is it, then?"
There was a long pause. "Last night."
"Ah," Alex said. Privately, she had been both hoping and dreading the advent of the impending conversation. As much as she wanted to further her relationship with Olivia after the catalyst that was last night, she felt too deeply ingrained in her career advancement and didn't know if she could quit. "It's like an addiction," she muttered.
"I'm sorry?"
"I--" Alex began, but hesitated. "I'm just thinking about what I've been thinking about all day."
Olivia laughed slightly. "Well, if it's what I've been thinking about all day, then I'm thinking about it, too."
"I have to know what you want to do before I can tell you what I want to do," Alex blurted out, just as the waiter came with their food. She stared at her salad and juice.
"That's funny, I was going to say the same thing. Because, for the whole of last night, I couldn't help thinking about the reason why you're in this job."
There was something about Olivia's tone that made Alex feel compelled to answer, even though the detective hadn't said it like a question. Maybe this is how she gets them to confess. "I wanna get somewhere."
"And I don't really fit in that 'somewhere.'"
Alex's head shot up, her blue eyes wide behind the glasses of justice. "That's not true," she said, perhaps a little too quickly. "You're my best friend; you fit. You fit in perfectly," she whispered.
Olivia looked slightly pained. "I fit in perfectly... as a friend. I know you, Alex. You don't know if you can quit your ambition to have me as... as your lover."
She wanted to refute that, she really did, but Alex didn't have the words when she knew Olivia had her in a nutshell. You're overthinking things, a part of her yelled at herself, but that's how Alex had spent her entire life surviving; by overthinking things, and she didn't know how to stop now, especially not when Olivia was right opposite her, making her feel like she was everything and nothing at all.
A shrill ringing broke their silence. Damn phones, always getting in the way at the most crucial time. Alex dug in her briefcase for hers, while Olivia dug in her pocket, and they pulled them out at the same time. "It's mine," Olivia said, "It's Elliot." Flipping the cover, she turned away briefly and Alex watched as Olivia spoke quickly and tersely into her cellphone.
"I have to go," Olivia told Alex, when she'd hung up. She didn't bother to elaborate further, and Alex didn't ask. A part of her felt relieved that they weren't continuing their conversation. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Alex said. You weren't last night. "I should get back, too."
"Want me to walk with you?"
"No," she declined, "Elliot needs you. I'll talk to you later."
Olivia offered her a small smile as she righted the collar of her jacket. "Okay. I'll call you."
Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six