(Untitled)

[bondozer]

 
Ficlet.
Loss.
A/O
PG.

I have never written anything in my life before, but I watched 'Loss' last night for the very first time ever. And it really moved me. ('darholland' knows what I'm trying to say). And I felt compelled to write something. And this is it.
Not sure what the protocol is for posting such things because I'm relatively new to everything

Comments

[triniliyah]

wonderful! you really brought all those feels I had about 'Loss' right back, so sad, and I know that I'm not the only who noticed the that perfect tear came down Olivia's cheek unchecked as the taillights and the flashing lights illuminated it's path. That look on her face was...just wow...Loss was the perfect name for that episode, I mean it's simple, it's unmessed around with...pure and total loss. That episode was beautiful acted, I loved the way Elliot stood there like the sentinel. And Olivia, just 'how long?' that was one of the most beautiful pieces of television (and subtext I might add.) the look between Alex and Olivia spoke volumes. "This new feeling was more than just heartbreak, more than just emptiness.
This was total desolation, total loss......" awesome writing! thank you for sharing it :) 'Loss' remains one of my very favoriter episodes of anything *lol* It's brilliantly acted and just wow...soo touching. Have you seen 'Ghost'? It has this strange haunted (how apprepriate) quality to it. I'd say more about 'Ghost' but if you haven't seen it I don't want ot give it away. :)

[bondozer]

Hi trini!
Thankyou soooo much for commenting.
I don't write....I just read the work of others ( mine and many others' particular drug of choice at the moment being 'A woman Undone' by the extremely talented 'whatisayouth' )
I thought this might be considered 'old news' as it originally aired so long ago. So I was really worried that it would be considered unoriginal.
I have seen clips of Loss and have wanted to see the whole episode for so long I can't remember.
Frankly, I was gobsmacked, and when it finished I just sat there, numb, for a while. Then I felt quite emotional. So much was said with so little speech in that last scene. It was subtle, powerful, and heartbreakingly sad. The acting was perfect and honest. I almost don't want to watch it again because I want to preserve the impact that seeing it for the first time has had on me. Some episodes just drift by you but this one has really pulled me up short and shook me. Enough to feel that I had to put pen to paper.
I haven't seen the whole of Ghost either, but again have seen the odd clip here and there.
We are getting re-runs here in the u.k. at the mo. Hallmark are showing 4 episodes every weekend, in order I might add. Tonight is Serendipity so I guess it will be a couple of months before I get to see Ghost. I hope it will be worth the wait.
Please tell me that it will be?
Thankyou, again, for your kind words. They really mean alot to me. Up 'til now I have had quite a few favourite episodes, but I'm with you on this one really being the best by far, if only for that last scene alone.
Lol x x x x

[triniliyah]

oh yea, i love Kishs's writing ('A Woman Undone') she's awesome.
I really loved this piece you wrote and the way you described how you felt about and after the episode your comment above; it really echos how I feel. When I read your comment, i just kept thinking, 'me too, me too, i agree!' *lol* I reacted in much the same way you did when I first saw it, I remember whispering to myself, "oh my god..." and I sat there taking it all in. you mention not being eager to watch 'Loss' again, but I have to say everytime I catch it on re-run it hits me, it has that impact, it holds your heart in limbo in a way everytime. the same feelings flood back but it's a different expereince because you know exactly what's to come, but the acting it just so brilliant and the content is so touching. i don't like to watch it everytime it's on however, it touches me and often times, I find myself with a number of tears streaming down on my face. USA Channel has some awesome L&O SVU marathons and almost everyday they have at least one episode on, although not in other, the randomness is nice though. I have mixed feelings about 'Ghost' (not in a bad way), I love it but it's haunting in a way...I recommend you see it and then post your reaction, I know I'd love to read what you say afterwards. What can and can't I mention about 'Ghost'? I want to talk about it but I don't know what you've scene about it. :D

[bondozer]

Oh! I see you are on first name terms with our author of the year.
She is most definitely 'awesome'. I really love her style of writing, it's very 'real' if that makes sense.
If there are awards out there for fic writers, I'll nominate her in an instant.

'Loss' has to be one of the most aptly named episodes of all times. I felt lost after watching it and from what I have seen of the more recent seasons, 7 & 8 (I don't think I've seen any of 6) the 'loss' is evident in more ways than one. The Powers That Be missed a real big opportunity to do something really groundbreaking and brave on this show with these two female characters. I guess mainstream t.v. in the states isn't up for that, it all boils down to sponsors and money and all. But, to butcher a quote from Donald Cragen, 'I'd have paid real money to see have seen that'!!! Haha!!
The bits of 'Ghost' that I have seen are mostly in the courtroom with Alex as Casey's witness and one in a hotel room with Alex and Liv talking about Alex's time in Witness Protection. And another with a crestfallen Liv waiting for Alex to show for some celebrations, only to find out that she's been whisked away again. All a bit jumbled up.
I will definitely post my reaction to it when I see it. You can still talk about it if you like, you won't spoil it for me. Honest. It might give me the heads up on some special little things to look out for, things that are usually missed when watched the first time around.
Speak soon.
Lol, for now x x x

[triniliyah]

oh yea, they missed a big chance to have these two ladies be tv's power couple *lol* i think a lot of that chemistry comes from Mariska and Stephanie, they're awesome together...and of course they became such good friends during the show (and have remained best friends).

As for 'Ghost' i say it's haunting because in that scene where Alex is in the hotel room talking to Olivia about her life now. there's this underlying current that's so interesting, it's not what exactly Alex is saying it's how she's saying it...it's like she's talking about someone else, she's detached. Then that heartbreaking scene at the end where Olivia asks for her and the agent says she's not coming, that she's gone, it's Olivia's reaction that's the most deep, she has two glasses her hand, ready to celebrate Alex's return. she's the one that looks so lost and upset...she just walks away. it's so sad. It's like her heart broke all over again. Definitely, take a good look at that scene with the two of them in the hotel room and the way they talk, particularly how Stephanie delievers her lines...oh and of course that line from Liv, she takes a deep breath and says "It's hard to be someone that you're not."
you know i think one of the most interesting things is how Olivia changed after Alex after 'Ghost'...she does alright but she was so lost particularly after she goes undercover with the FBI...when she comes back she's more aggressive, she gets side tracked with this guys who's her brother and she gets wayward...like she's lost...she's doesn't come off as compassionate with the victims, she's angry, it's like she lost something after Alex. there's so much more I could say, I don't know I miss Alex and I miss her for Olivia.
and this new season, i keep expecting to see Alex show up because she's cut her hair and to me she feels a little more like herself again, it just reminds me of the 'Cabot days' *grin* I would love for Stephanie to guess star as Alex. That would be so awesome!

And you know what i think whatisayouth definitely, definitely earned breakthrough author of the year and best story. i mean if you've read any of my comments on that story, you know it's close to my heart.

here check out this vid...the vid maker leaves some clips at the end.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=3B7zS4r7TrM

[bondozer]

Thanks, trini, for the link to the vid ( I'll figure out how to do links next) I've not seen that one!
Now I can't wait to see 'Ghost'.
When actors have good chemistry off screen, it makes the onscreen chemistry even hotter!! Yes?
I would love Alex to make an appearance in a new season episode, not just for Olivias' sake, but for mine too!
I've only seen seasons 7 & 8 once, but you are right, Liv seems to have gone slightly off the rails, I mean, didn't she kick the shit out of a suspected rapist in one epi? Not our Liv, more like an Elliot thing to do.
I've seen a couple of the new season epis on U Tube (which have since been pulled due to copyright infringement) and I do like Liv's shorter, dark hair. And the leather jacket's back. Although she could lose the low-cut frilly shirts. As much as I enjoy gazing into her ample chest, they aren't really appropriate given her line of work!!!
How do you rate the new season so far? I've read mixed reviews and I don't want to be disappointed!!
Lol x x x

[triniliyah]

oh my god, we're of like mind! i totally thought she'd gone off her rocker, especially doing an Elliot type thing and beating up that man in the interrogation room. and yes the beloved leather jackets are back, and not only that her style of dressing has moved away from frilly, to a more respectable style that's more her in my opinion. and I think I definitely said more than once that those frilly shirts have to go, althought they offer some wonderful scenery, it's not appropriate for her line of work, it's amazing how we thought the exact same thing, great minds think alike i guess. and not to mention how awesome her hair is...mmm...umm, sorry I had an Olivia moment *wink*

you know i actually considered not watching the show so religiously anymore after she changed a season or so ago (forgive me Olivia), I was sooo pissed...it was like they were trying to make her this girlie emotional character for awhile, the whole thing with her brother made her seem...i don't know somehow gulliable, and the Liv we know isn't like that. She started badgering victims and suspects alike, acting like Elliot, she wore the most ridiculously inappropriate outfits and then these earrings, like hoops, and the long hair, in this very...very non-Det. Olivia Benson style...it wasn't our Livvy anymore there for a while...i was so disheartened.

But let me tell you, the second I saw the preview for the new season, a new hope dawned and OH MY GOD...the credits...she looks gorgeous in the season 9 opening credits, my jaw hit the floor...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ypSsweTL2wY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ymx1lK9dRc

(oh and as for putting in a link, all i do it copy and paste the url in the comment and it automatically becomes a link)

Season 9 made my eyes nearly fall out of my head when i saw her...the hair, the clothes, THE STRUT! the attitude...oh the joy...it was back, some changes but Det. Benson was in the building. Then Fin says to her something like 'nice hair', and she says 'i needed a change.' was so nudge nudge to the viewers i think. she's different, but not in a none Liv way, she still does things somethings that aren't too Liv-like but that's understandable with what she's been through I guess...and something about her now just screams "where's Alex?", especially 'Paternity', Olivia was back one hundred percent in that epi, a truly Emmy worthy performance from Mariska. i don't know what it is but this season is like that, it has it's ups and downs but i like it...BUT I want Alex back! hahaha. i'd give this season a tentative thumbs up...except for Adam Beach...his acting is HORRIBLE!!!! i wasn't disappointed with the season though, i think i have a rant about the new season in my journal, can't remember.

:D

[bondozer]

Trini,
Ssssssqueeeeeel!
Me too, Meeeeee Tooooooooo!!!!
I'd really like to talk to you about these comments of yours, but I'll have to get back to you later.
Speak soon
Lol x x x x

[triniliyah]

do you have yahoo messenger? or msn? cuz i think we need to take this conversaton beyond these restrictive comments *lol*

yahoo: TriniLiyah
msn: triniliyah

[bondozer]

I don't have either at the moment, but I'll get my niece to sort me something out....I'm a bit of a techno-phobe and she's a bit of a whizz.
A friend of mine has been pestering me to sign up to msn for ages so I'll have a go and let you know what happens. It might take a couple of days, but I will get back to you.

Meanwhile...Adam Beach? What I've seen of him so far I'm not impressed with. I'd rather have more Munch, (I luv me some Munch) or just more Liv!! Hahaha!!!
Speak soon.
Lol x x

[triniliyah]

yay definitely, Munch rocks, more of him would be much better than Adam Beach (honestly I can't even remember his name on the show and I don't care *lol*) Adam Beach is horrible, his line deleivery is horrendous, his timing is all off, a real lack of feeling in everything he says...he sucks! hahaha

and i'll be on the look out for you to sign up to one of those IM things. :) let me know :)