The Young and the Restless 46/46
Olivia was allowing the blond to practically mount her on the dance floor. She didn’t even care. Samantha knew what she was doing and Olivia had no problems letting her do it. She grabbed the woman’s head and pulled her in for a forceful kiss holding her head hard against her own. It was rough but Olivia didn’t care and Samantha seemed to enjoy it.
Alex felt butterflies in her stomach and every nerve ending in her body tense as she opened the door to the bar. The sounds of music and loud conversations was over powering. Her feet moved swiftly inside and the first place she looked was the bar. Olivia wasn’t there. She scanned the tables and finally the dance floor. Then she saw it. Her whole body froze like a frightened and confused animal and her nerve endings shot pure fire as her eyes fell upon the most sickening sight she had ever seen.
At that moment Olivia felt it. Like a bolt of white lightening coursing through her body. It could only be one thing. She wrenched herself from the grip of Samantha’s lips and body to turn and see Alex standing in the middle of the bar looking at her like a child who has just watched someone die. "Alex!" she screamed trying to extricate herself from Samantha’s drunken embrace.
Alex suddenly felt like she was in a soundproof room where the cacophony of the bar and Olivia’s cries sounded muffled and soft and everything felt distant. She felt cold, like ice was running through her veins. She was aware of the exact moment when her heart shattered in her chest sending painful shards through her already racked body. All of the conviction she had dissolved inside her and she turned on her heels bolting out of the bar.
"Get off of me!" Olivia screamed at Samantha as she pushed the overzealous woman away.
"Fuck you!" Samantha yelled angry at being rejected but Olivia didn’t even hear her. She was already headed after Alex pushing her way past people and weaving through tables to reach to door her love had run out of.
Alex didn’t know where she was going but she knew she had to get away. She would hail a cab later for now she just had to keep her body moving hoping somehow that would assuage the monolith of pain taking root inside her. Her feet sailed over the sidewalk and she was thankful she was wearing sneakers and comfortable clothes to move in.
Olivia burst out of the bar and snapped her head from left to right desperate to catch a glimpse of Alex. A flash of blond caught her eye right before it rounded the block. "Alex!" Olivia screamed in desperation. She took off after her.
She didn’t even pay attention when she crossed the street into Friday night traffic. Luckily for Alex she made it through unscathed save for a few angry comments from drivers. She might have paid more attention even in her frantic state had not the effects from large amount of wine she drank at her apartment still been meandering through her system. Before she knew it she was running through NYU’s campus.
"Alex wait! Alex!" Olivia continued to scream. She knew the blond could hear her she wasn’t that far away from her and she was gaining. Alex may be fleet of foot but Olivia chased down criminals for a living she would catch her. With a steady gait she pushed herself harder and harder gaining a step or two on Alex every time. Soon she was within an arms reach of her and she extended her hand with all her might and grabbed the woman’s arm. Alex tried to wrench herself free but Olivia had a good grip.
"Let me go! I don’t want this!" Alex yelled her bleeding heart screaming in frantic pain.
"Alex please!" Olivia yelled as they both came to an awkward stop. Alex shrugged Olivia violently off and then didn’t hesitate before bringing her hand up and slapping the detective across the face.
Still breathing heavy, Olivia grabbed her cheek and exclaimed, "Jesus! What the fuck?"
"Get away from me Olivia." Alex blurted through heaving breaths.
"What? You tracked me down. Then you run away from me. Then when I catch you, you slap me. What the hell is going on?"
Tears were slowly pooling at the sides of Alex’s eyes and venturing out over her cheeks as she spoke, bitterness and pain fused into her voice, "I wanted to see you. But I guess I did that so now I want to go home and never see you again."
Olivia knew in her heart that the wall Alex had erected to keep her out was starting to crumble. She pushed as she took a step closer to the blond and asked her in a deeply concerned voice. "Why did you want to see me? I thought you were done with me."
Alex took an instinctive step back. "I was. But then…" she hesitated unsure if she wanted to proceed down the road she knew she could never turn back from. She didn’t finish she just let her words dangle unfinished in the air.
"That woman meant nothing." Olivia added.
"I know what she meant." Alex spoke bitterly.
"Are you pissed at me?" Olivia asked dubiously. Alex didn’t respond but Olivia could tell by her body language that she was unhappy with her. "So let me get this straight…" she began in a haughty tone. "I pour my heart out to you and you reject me. Then I try to just focus and do my job and you try to get me transferred. Then when I try to tell you I love you again and to please not get me transferred you shoot me down yet again. Then after all of that I try and get my life back together and go out for a few hours to forget about you, and then you hunt me down and get pissed at me for going on with my life?"
"I…I…" Alex began but Olivia angrily cut her off.
"No! You can go to hell Alex, I can’t believe you." Olivia took a few steps back and ran her hands through her hair shaking her head and looking away from the blond. Alex didn’t even respond. She didn’t know how. Olivia’s anger was unnerving. Olivia turned back to face her with renewed anger as she exclaimed, "And another thing, you don’t even know anything about that woman in there. She was just some fucking distraction that I desperately sought out so that I could for just one minute, just one second of my entire day not think about you and not see your face every time I close my eyes! Its you Alex, everywhere I turn its you. Its your face, your eyes and your voice that I see and hear in everyone. You don’t want anything to do with me and yet your presence in my mind and heart plagues me like a ghost." When Olivia finished her shoulders sagged and her whole body registered the exhaustion that her confession elicited. She felt spent and empty having once again laid bare her aching heart to Alex splaying it out in front of her like a fresh wound yet to heal exposed to the elements. With one final heave of energy she looked up at the woman who despite her best efforts to drown out her memory with alcohol and sex still cleaved to her heart as vital as her own veins and offered one final statement; the closing argument. "Its always been you, it was you before we even met, a ghost of my future. And now you are gone again and you are the ghost of my past. But it has always been you and it will always be you."
Alex was overwhelmed. It was starting to rain as they stood on NYU’s campus off the sidewalk in the grass. Alex was thankful for the rain it masked the tears that were welling in her eyes as she gazed upon Olivia unsure of whether or not to approach her. The detective seemed like a wounded animal capable of darting at the slightest movement. She looked at Alex and asked the obvious question, "Why did you come here tonight?"
"Elliot came over after he left your place. He handed me a coaster." Alex spoke carefully not sure of how Olivia would react to anything at this point.
Olivia chuckled slightly, "I threw that stuff out. It didn’t seem worth holding onto anymore."
"I can’t believe you kept it."
"Yeah well I guess I did things backwards back then."
"What do you mean?"
"I let go of you but held onto the pieces of paper. I should have done the opposite and none of this would have happened." As she finished she looked away from Alex whose eyes were too blue for her to bear and turned her head toward the sky and the rain as it fell in cooling droplets on her face.
"Liv." Alex stated quietly.
"What?" Olivia asked not looking at the blond her sadness preventing her from realizing that Alex had called her by her nickname.
"Liv." Alex said more insistently as she took a step toward her.
"What?" Olivia asked this time turning to look at Alex and just as she did so crashing into Alex’s full lips as the blond brought her hand up to cup the side of Olivia’s face.
It was the single most amazing moment in both of the women’s lives. Both of their bodies responded immediately as they melted into the other their energy spinning together between them, their hearts leaping in their chests, butterflies dancing in their stomachs, softness returned with softness and love engulfing them in an overwhelming flood held back for too many years to be anything but perfect and completely sating.
Lips like soft petals brushed against each other with bruising intensity and their arms wrapped around each other clutching and exploring like if they didn’t the other would disappear. Tears mingled with hot breath and beating hearts as frantic "I love you’s" where whispered and breathed between kisses.
When they finally separated Olivia’s whole body shook with the satisfaction of a long suffering heart finally finding its cure. "I love you so much." Olivia spoke her voice cracking with joy.
Alex smiled so wide her muscles could barely contain it as she responded, "I’ve always loved you Olivia. Every day every minute I thought about you. I can’t take another moment without you. I’m sorry I treated you the way I did. You didn’t deserve it."
"No I didn’t. But then again I shouldn’t have walked out on you that day. I promise I’ll never do that again." Olivia responded pulling Alex against her and squeezing her tightly. It was the sweetest feeling Alex had ever felt. She wrapped her arms around the woman she loved and closed her eyes reveling in the feeling of her warmth and beating heart against her.
The End
Should I post the Epilouge tonight or tomorrow?
There's an epilouge after this, I was sad when this story ended, but they say all good things must come to an end, :'(