dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me...
I'm such a short tempered bitch... I know... I'm not the best kind of friend... I'm not the most loving girlfriend neither. The past relationships always ends up after a couple or so of years, each of them complaning that I never once get jealous, do I not love them enough... or that I'm too lax, I never even bat an eye when I see them with a chick clinging to them.. well... for one, I don't really... know why... I don't get it either... maybe it's got something to do with my upbringing...
I've been unconsciously trained not to trust anyone but myself when it comes to emotions, beccause as soon as you're emotionally attached to someone else, then all goes down t shit faster than you can blink. I've never really believed in trusting someone else wholeheartedly. Hell, I don't even trust anyone else to make me feel safe.
Even the ones I love, I have a hard time trusting... especially my family. It's a long story which I'm not interested in telling.... at least not anymore.. I turned out like this because of what I went through thoughout my childhood... and quite frankly, I'm neither thankful nor do I regret it... cause persoanlly, it's something I could do without and secondly, I'm bound to know it sometime later in life.... I should've not gone through hell for being a child, I shoudln't have gone through hell for enjoying the idea of being a child. But, hell I went through and now. I'm as much of a bitch as I am of a human.
Maybe I'm under something... something bad underneath me... or maybe it's something good.. I got my tattoos to be a constant remind of who I am... because I don't want to lose myself further into what I'm slowly becoming. . .
a/n: The title came from a song of Incubus ~ Dig
I've been unconsciously trained not to trust anyone but myself when it comes to emotions, beccause as soon as you're emotionally attached to someone else, then all goes down t shit faster than you can blink. I've never really believed in trusting someone else wholeheartedly. Hell, I don't even trust anyone else to make me feel safe.
Even the ones I love, I have a hard time trusting... especially my family. It's a long story which I'm not interested in telling.... at least not anymore.. I turned out like this because of what I went through thoughout my childhood... and quite frankly, I'm neither thankful nor do I regret it... cause persoanlly, it's something I could do without and secondly, I'm bound to know it sometime later in life.... I should've not gone through hell for being a child, I shoudln't have gone through hell for enjoying the idea of being a child. But, hell I went through and now. I'm as much of a bitch as I am of a human.
Maybe I'm under something... something bad underneath me... or maybe it's something good.. I got my tattoos to be a constant remind of who I am... because I don't want to lose myself further into what I'm slowly becoming. . .
a/n: The title came from a song of Incubus ~ Dig