My Arms Show Scars of My Faith (1/3)
Title: My Arms Show Scars of My Faith (1/3)
Chapter: One
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: R overall (mentions of attempted suicide and cutting)
Summary: Alex is starting to break. He needs Jack like he needs air, although he would pick Jack over breathing any day.
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the plot. Title and cut cred belong to Renfue.
Author's Note: This is my first chaptered fic omfg. It was a kinda spur of the moment thing, I wrote all three parts tonight in less than like an hour and it gets quite angsty towards the end. I'll post the next chapter in a few days time and some feedback would be awesome! :-)
Tumblr :-)
Masterpost
Rian has counted. It's been exactly ten months since Jack or Alex each had a significant other. Well that's how long Jack has moved back to Baltimore, but they've all heard stories that Jack did have a few girlfriends before joining them back on the east coast.
It's never really crossed Rian's mind to ask, until it's Valentine's day, and Rian is about to leave on a romantic dinner with Cassadee, and notices Alex in his pajamas, in the living room watching a horror film. It's not that it's a terribly long time of them each being single, it's just abnormal not to even have a date on Valentine's.
Rian asks if Alex has plans, and he smiles and shakes his head. He figures Alex hasn't really registered what day it is, and decides not to remind him.
As he opens the front door of the house, in walks Jack smiling.
He apologizes to Jack profusely, stating that for the evening it will just be him and Cass going to dinner, but that he's more than welcome to join them if he pleases.
Jack of course, refuses, and instead is captured by the movie Alex is watching, and states he'll just stay and keep the blonde company. This pleases Rian, because at least they're not alone on a day that no one should be by themselves.
He smiles and he leaves, with Cassadee holding on to his arm.
...
The mood is light, and occasionally Alex bites his lip, it's the only thing he can do from covering his eyes and making it obvious that the movie is totally and completely freaking him out.
He turns once and looks at Jack whose eyes are huge. Alex frowns, because he /did/ actually remember what day it was.
He scrunches his nose in confusion, "Don't you have a Valentine?"
Jack turns his head, but his eyes are still intently on the screen and all he mutters is, "Hmm?"
Alex swallows and makes sure to enunciate every word, "Why are you here? Don't you have a Valentine? It is Valentine's day."
The concentration he has on the TV breaks and he turns to Alex with a frown on his own face, "No," he states as if it's obvious, then quickly adds, "Don't you though?"
Alex smiles sadly, and let's out a giggle, "Nope."
Jack's frown fades and instead he raises an eyebrow, "You're kidding right? I'm pretty sure there's a lot of men that would want to be with you," He scoffs and then remembers to add, "-Nathan vents about the constant flowers being dropped off."
Alex rolls his eyes and sighs, "Yeah, but I don't like any of them. It's hard when you like someone you can't have."
At his confession, Jacks eyes grow huge, "I feel exactly the same way. Its like-you can't possibly imagine liking someone else, huh? You just don't feel an attraction for any other person in the world."
Alex's mouth drops and he nods his head, suddenly he's standing on his knees on the couch excitedly, "Exactly! It's just impossible, when you're in love with someone you just can't be with-er...well that's my case."
Jack laughs and nods his head, "Same with me. You have no idea actually..."
Alex scoffs, "Can't possibly be worse than mine."
"Try me."
Alex inhales deeply, and bites down on his lip, "My.. friend. Jordan."
It's Jack turn to wrinkle his nose, and he smiles at Alex in a peculiar way, "The straight one from Poughkeepsie?"
"Do you see why it's stupid for me to like him?" Alex puts out his hand in gesture and nods his head.
Jack can't help it, he starts laughing, and exhales a lot of air as if relieved, "Well...You still have more chances than I do."
"Oh yeah? Who is it you like, Mr Jack Barakat?"
Alex's light mood makes Jack feel a little better about the situation and their pointless love for unattainable individuals.
"Remember Courtney?"
Alex opens his mouth into an "oh" and nods. Yes, Jack's pretty much screwed, since Courtney died in a car accident almost a year ago.
Alex sighs and rests his head against the couch, looking at Jack sadly, "We're pretty fucked, aren't we?"
"Yeah...pretty much."
Both turn their heads back to the screen to finish watching the movie, feeling rather unsettled by the whole situation. Neither knows the other is unsettled though, because they're both liars, and good convincing liars.
Jack hasn't thought about Courtney since the day she died. Call it nasty of him to think so, but their relationship was over before she hit the other car.
Alex thinks the thought of actually being attracted to Jordan is quite repulsive.
But neither can say the truth, because the truth is far more awkward than being attracted to your gay friend, and your dead ex-girlfriend.
That's why it's just easier to use replacements; it's just a lot less complicated. And secretly, they're both relieved that the other isn't as fucked up as they are... but - actually, they both are.
Chapter: One
Pairing: Jalex
Rating: R overall (mentions of attempted suicide and cutting)
Summary: Alex is starting to break. He needs Jack like he needs air, although he would pick Jack over breathing any day.
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the plot. Title and cut cred belong to Renfue.
Author's Note: This is my first chaptered fic omfg. It was a kinda spur of the moment thing, I wrote all three parts tonight in less than like an hour and it gets quite angsty towards the end. I'll post the next chapter in a few days time and some feedback would be awesome! :-)
Tumblr :-)
Masterpost
Rian has counted. It's been exactly ten months since Jack or Alex each had a significant other. Well that's how long Jack has moved back to Baltimore, but they've all heard stories that Jack did have a few girlfriends before joining them back on the east coast.
It's never really crossed Rian's mind to ask, until it's Valentine's day, and Rian is about to leave on a romantic dinner with Cassadee, and notices Alex in his pajamas, in the living room watching a horror film. It's not that it's a terribly long time of them each being single, it's just abnormal not to even have a date on Valentine's.
Rian asks if Alex has plans, and he smiles and shakes his head. He figures Alex hasn't really registered what day it is, and decides not to remind him.
As he opens the front door of the house, in walks Jack smiling.
He apologizes to Jack profusely, stating that for the evening it will just be him and Cass going to dinner, but that he's more than welcome to join them if he pleases.
Jack of course, refuses, and instead is captured by the movie Alex is watching, and states he'll just stay and keep the blonde company. This pleases Rian, because at least they're not alone on a day that no one should be by themselves.
He smiles and he leaves, with Cassadee holding on to his arm.
...
The mood is light, and occasionally Alex bites his lip, it's the only thing he can do from covering his eyes and making it obvious that the movie is totally and completely freaking him out.
He turns once and looks at Jack whose eyes are huge. Alex frowns, because he /did/ actually remember what day it was.
He scrunches his nose in confusion, "Don't you have a Valentine?"
Jack turns his head, but his eyes are still intently on the screen and all he mutters is, "Hmm?"
Alex swallows and makes sure to enunciate every word, "Why are you here? Don't you have a Valentine? It is Valentine's day."
The concentration he has on the TV breaks and he turns to Alex with a frown on his own face, "No," he states as if it's obvious, then quickly adds, "Don't you though?"
Alex smiles sadly, and let's out a giggle, "Nope."
Jack's frown fades and instead he raises an eyebrow, "You're kidding right? I'm pretty sure there's a lot of men that would want to be with you," He scoffs and then remembers to add, "-Nathan vents about the constant flowers being dropped off."
Alex rolls his eyes and sighs, "Yeah, but I don't like any of them. It's hard when you like someone you can't have."
At his confession, Jacks eyes grow huge, "I feel exactly the same way. Its like-you can't possibly imagine liking someone else, huh? You just don't feel an attraction for any other person in the world."
Alex's mouth drops and he nods his head, suddenly he's standing on his knees on the couch excitedly, "Exactly! It's just impossible, when you're in love with someone you just can't be with-er...well that's my case."
Jack laughs and nods his head, "Same with me. You have no idea actually..."
Alex scoffs, "Can't possibly be worse than mine."
"Try me."
Alex inhales deeply, and bites down on his lip, "My.. friend. Jordan."
It's Jack turn to wrinkle his nose, and he smiles at Alex in a peculiar way, "The straight one from Poughkeepsie?"
"Do you see why it's stupid for me to like him?" Alex puts out his hand in gesture and nods his head.
Jack can't help it, he starts laughing, and exhales a lot of air as if relieved, "Well...You still have more chances than I do."
"Oh yeah? Who is it you like, Mr Jack Barakat?"
Alex's light mood makes Jack feel a little better about the situation and their pointless love for unattainable individuals.
"Remember Courtney?"
Alex opens his mouth into an "oh" and nods. Yes, Jack's pretty much screwed, since Courtney died in a car accident almost a year ago.
Alex sighs and rests his head against the couch, looking at Jack sadly, "We're pretty fucked, aren't we?"
"Yeah...pretty much."
Both turn their heads back to the screen to finish watching the movie, feeling rather unsettled by the whole situation. Neither knows the other is unsettled though, because they're both liars, and good convincing liars.
Jack hasn't thought about Courtney since the day she died. Call it nasty of him to think so, but their relationship was over before she hit the other car.
Alex thinks the thought of actually being attracted to Jordan is quite repulsive.
But neither can say the truth, because the truth is far more awkward than being attracted to your gay friend, and your dead ex-girlfriend.
That's why it's just easier to use replacements; it's just a lot less complicated. And secretly, they're both relieved that the other isn't as fucked up as they are... but - actually, they both are.