Why I hate hating other people (part pi)
To disgracefully plagiarise from one of history's greatest orators -
You can hate all of the people some of the time
You can hate some of the people all of the time
But to hate all of the people all of the time...
Well, I think you get my meaning.
This is my response to rustica 's post about the total suckiness of an individual she had the misfortune to encounter recently. And while I fully understand her indignation, I'd like to offer a different perspective.
Those of you who are aware of my family's current circumstances may understand two things, on the one hand that I might be forgiven for having a low tolerance to people's general crapness, but conversely that my recent experience of the kindness and basic humanity of strangers has me predisposed to be much more positive.
Given this, it would be very easy for me to conclude that some people can be utterly, unforgivably reprehensible. And others spectacularly, often incomprehensibly, selfless and thoughtful. That we do indeed live among saints and sinners. And this is perhaps true to an extent. Clearly some of us are preferable to others. But this is not the point I wish to make.
The gentleman in question is clearly a dick. One would be more inclined to forgiveness if his rudeness in one shop hadn't led to an equal display of disrespect even as he tried to rectify his first outburst. If any Americans would like a definition of irony, there you go. I am smirking as I write this.
But, and this is the important bit, two things stand out from this tale. Firstly, rustica only saw the briefest snapshot of this man's life. He may on balance be generous and warm, loved by his family, admired by colleagues, and kind to small fluffy animals. He may have been experiencing a particularly bad day. This doesn't excuse his behaviour, but may account for it. Or he may in fact be, in all his dealings with his fellow humans, consistently, a dick. We'll never know (unless rustica is stalking him as I speak). But to judge an entire character from a single incident is unfair, and to extend that to a general rule for the greater part of humanity is unwise.
Secondly, if we do wish to judge from this brief anecdote, what does his behaviour actually tell us about him. Clearly, this chap has an attitude problem in such circumstances, a tendency, when stressed, to treat strangers with less respect than he feels he himself deserves. However, the very fact that he recognised he had caused distress, and was trying to rectify this, regardless of how ineffectual and troublesome his attempt was, demonstrates more reflection, self-awareness and remorse than some people manage. Let's not forget it's never easy to admit you're wrong, especially in public.
So in short, yeah he's a dick. But he knows it. And he's not proud of it. He sucks. But not to the exclusion of any finer qualities. And the same is true, in varying degrees, of the rest of us. There are some saints, and some sinners. The rest of us are just people.
You can hate all of the people some of the time
You can hate some of the people all of the time
But to hate all of the people all of the time...
Well, I think you get my meaning.
This is my response to rustica 's post about the total suckiness of an individual she had the misfortune to encounter recently. And while I fully understand her indignation, I'd like to offer a different perspective.
Those of you who are aware of my family's current circumstances may understand two things, on the one hand that I might be forgiven for having a low tolerance to people's general crapness, but conversely that my recent experience of the kindness and basic humanity of strangers has me predisposed to be much more positive.
Given this, it would be very easy for me to conclude that some people can be utterly, unforgivably reprehensible. And others spectacularly, often incomprehensibly, selfless and thoughtful. That we do indeed live among saints and sinners. And this is perhaps true to an extent. Clearly some of us are preferable to others. But this is not the point I wish to make.
The gentleman in question is clearly a dick. One would be more inclined to forgiveness if his rudeness in one shop hadn't led to an equal display of disrespect even as he tried to rectify his first outburst. If any Americans would like a definition of irony, there you go. I am smirking as I write this.
But, and this is the important bit, two things stand out from this tale. Firstly, rustica only saw the briefest snapshot of this man's life. He may on balance be generous and warm, loved by his family, admired by colleagues, and kind to small fluffy animals. He may have been experiencing a particularly bad day. This doesn't excuse his behaviour, but may account for it. Or he may in fact be, in all his dealings with his fellow humans, consistently, a dick. We'll never know (unless rustica is stalking him as I speak). But to judge an entire character from a single incident is unfair, and to extend that to a general rule for the greater part of humanity is unwise.
Secondly, if we do wish to judge from this brief anecdote, what does his behaviour actually tell us about him. Clearly, this chap has an attitude problem in such circumstances, a tendency, when stressed, to treat strangers with less respect than he feels he himself deserves. However, the very fact that he recognised he had caused distress, and was trying to rectify this, regardless of how ineffectual and troublesome his attempt was, demonstrates more reflection, self-awareness and remorse than some people manage. Let's not forget it's never easy to admit you're wrong, especially in public.
So in short, yeah he's a dick. But he knows it. And he's not proud of it. He sucks. But not to the exclusion of any finer qualities. And the same is true, in varying degrees, of the rest of us. There are some saints, and some sinners. The rest of us are just people.