Ponder
ugh.
So the first week of break was great. I had so much fun, shopping, dancing, preparing for christmas... and now... now all i want to do is sleep. Sleep for a long long time.
I do not want to go back to school.
I do not want to spend new years with my parents freinds while they ignore me.
I do not want to be here.
I hate being home. I just hate it. As soon as i step out the door im fine, but as soon as im here long enough for my mom to be a total bitch to me i just want to leave again.
I hate wanting to go to a party and not being able to just because i dont want to deal with the lies and hostile parents.
I hate school. I hate it more than i can even express. No one seems to beleive me when i say that.
At least durring the first half of break i had the house to myself a few times, but now, my parents are home all the time! They always are! I hate it. And they stay up till 3 am, so i never get the tv and all i want to do is lie on the couch, watch sex and the city, and eat my feelings.
I dont even know what im feeling right now. So many things. I'm falling apart, and i asked for help. I did. And nothing.
I saw fuck face today. He was on first second ave, and i was walking twards macys. I just looked and kept walking. By the time i got to Pacific Place i was so livid i was shaking. At least for once in my fucking life i was wearing the right thing at the right time. I looked good, i thought anyways, but of course so did he. Dip shit.
Moving on.
I had a good christmas... i guess i can at least say that. Got lots of cool stuff, and i finaly went shopping and had some moeny so i got some cool stuff.
Im really stressed!
I do not want to write those papers of mun. I hate.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
I hate!
As soon as school starts again im fucked. I am going to have soooo much shit to do! UGH!
WROC too! Fuck. Im such a flake.
I had a good night at least...
I miss nick! ALOT. He needs to come home. I need my best friend right now.
So the first week of break was great. I had so much fun, shopping, dancing, preparing for christmas... and now... now all i want to do is sleep. Sleep for a long long time.
I do not want to go back to school.
I do not want to spend new years with my parents freinds while they ignore me.
I do not want to be here.
I hate being home. I just hate it. As soon as i step out the door im fine, but as soon as im here long enough for my mom to be a total bitch to me i just want to leave again.
I hate wanting to go to a party and not being able to just because i dont want to deal with the lies and hostile parents.
I hate school. I hate it more than i can even express. No one seems to beleive me when i say that.
At least durring the first half of break i had the house to myself a few times, but now, my parents are home all the time! They always are! I hate it. And they stay up till 3 am, so i never get the tv and all i want to do is lie on the couch, watch sex and the city, and eat my feelings.
I dont even know what im feeling right now. So many things. I'm falling apart, and i asked for help. I did. And nothing.
I saw fuck face today. He was on first second ave, and i was walking twards macys. I just looked and kept walking. By the time i got to Pacific Place i was so livid i was shaking. At least for once in my fucking life i was wearing the right thing at the right time. I looked good, i thought anyways, but of course so did he. Dip shit.
Moving on.
I had a good christmas... i guess i can at least say that. Got lots of cool stuff, and i finaly went shopping and had some moeny so i got some cool stuff.
Im really stressed!
I do not want to write those papers of mun. I hate.
fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
I hate!
As soon as school starts again im fucked. I am going to have soooo much shit to do! UGH!
WROC too! Fuck. Im such a flake.
I had a good night at least...
I miss nick! ALOT. He needs to come home. I need my best friend right now.