stop...
more than my arm is talking now...my entire self is slapping me...screaming at me...killing me..."WHAT DO YOU WANT?"... nobody knows...I can't ignore it forever...I will eventually be another statistic...another one of those...
bleck...
Paul's struggle against what he didn't want to be reminds me of myself...with a less spiritual connotation. True, spiritually...I am not what I want to be....I do what I do not want to....and I can't do what I should...what I want...is to do what I should....but...right now....I'm talking tangibly....even with spirituality aside....I am not what I want to be and I never do anything that my own self approves of....I am weak to my flesh....but what am I trying to be strong for?....my own askewed version of the way things should be....isn't it impossible to live up to a non-existent view of life....not that I hold my self at high standards, but obscure ones....
I promise you I'm not stating my individuality....but I'm just trying to allow you to understand that the things I strive for...don't make sense....
why do I have to answer for who i am?...
because I am who I am and not who I want to be...ramble ramble...blah blah blah....I love you...
bleck...
Paul's struggle against what he didn't want to be reminds me of myself...with a less spiritual connotation. True, spiritually...I am not what I want to be....I do what I do not want to....and I can't do what I should...what I want...is to do what I should....but...right now....I'm talking tangibly....even with spirituality aside....I am not what I want to be and I never do anything that my own self approves of....I am weak to my flesh....but what am I trying to be strong for?....my own askewed version of the way things should be....isn't it impossible to live up to a non-existent view of life....not that I hold my self at high standards, but obscure ones....
I promise you I'm not stating my individuality....but I'm just trying to allow you to understand that the things I strive for...don't make sense....
why do I have to answer for who i am?...
because I am who I am and not who I want to be...ramble ramble...blah blah blah....I love you...