(no subject)
If you consider going to a mega-church on a Saturday night strange, then let me rock your world.
Imagine going with eight retarded folks. One of whom gets lost walking up the isle so he walks around to the front of the chuch (right by the carpeted steps under the mega-screens) only to see me, cheerfully wave and come back to me. Then imagine that you thought this was the hymn sing you were escorting said retards to only to have it end five minutes after arriving. Now, I'm sure you've never taken the time to shove a van full of retards, but it is about a 20 min. process that involves a large ammount of verbal manipulation and physical energy. So I invited the young pastor to come suck up to my retards. I knew he would be the type dying to show how much he loves all God's flock. And he fit the bill. So much sugar I vomited a bit in my mouth. Then we mentioned the hymn sing and found out that it was in a different part of the building.
In a group of 8 retards, one will always have two sections. The ones that walk quickly without waiting you have to yell at and follow and the ones who walk very very very slowly. I took the first bunch, who had already started walking without our gide, towards the chapel he claimed he was leading me to. After many twists and turns, he tells me he's going back to get the other group (who, I'm sure, hadn't even managed to leave the pew yet...) when suddenly I am assulted with the image of many many retarded people in cowboy hats and kerchiefs. Smiling helpers hand me and my retards donuts and cookies and cider and filter us towards the gym where there are at least a hundred retards in hats with kerchiefs sitting at tables and milling around. I immedatly loose my four to various friends they have there. The other four then entered. I went to the other staff with me. I was quite shaken. There were smiling faces everywhere. Every now and then I'd see one of mine, only to have them disappear behind a sea of cowboy hats. I then called my boss to relay the complete strangeness of my new life. She informed me that there was an emergency at home and we needed to come back. Now. So we took the next 40 minutes to round up our eight and get them back into the van and drive home. By the time we got there my boss met us at the door. Everything was okay. And we all managed to walk away with a cowboy hat.
My life is so strange.
Imagine going with eight retarded folks. One of whom gets lost walking up the isle so he walks around to the front of the chuch (right by the carpeted steps under the mega-screens) only to see me, cheerfully wave and come back to me. Then imagine that you thought this was the hymn sing you were escorting said retards to only to have it end five minutes after arriving. Now, I'm sure you've never taken the time to shove a van full of retards, but it is about a 20 min. process that involves a large ammount of verbal manipulation and physical energy. So I invited the young pastor to come suck up to my retards. I knew he would be the type dying to show how much he loves all God's flock. And he fit the bill. So much sugar I vomited a bit in my mouth. Then we mentioned the hymn sing and found out that it was in a different part of the building.
In a group of 8 retards, one will always have two sections. The ones that walk quickly without waiting you have to yell at and follow and the ones who walk very very very slowly. I took the first bunch, who had already started walking without our gide, towards the chapel he claimed he was leading me to. After many twists and turns, he tells me he's going back to get the other group (who, I'm sure, hadn't even managed to leave the pew yet...) when suddenly I am assulted with the image of many many retarded people in cowboy hats and kerchiefs. Smiling helpers hand me and my retards donuts and cookies and cider and filter us towards the gym where there are at least a hundred retards in hats with kerchiefs sitting at tables and milling around. I immedatly loose my four to various friends they have there. The other four then entered. I went to the other staff with me. I was quite shaken. There were smiling faces everywhere. Every now and then I'd see one of mine, only to have them disappear behind a sea of cowboy hats. I then called my boss to relay the complete strangeness of my new life. She informed me that there was an emergency at home and we needed to come back. Now. So we took the next 40 minutes to round up our eight and get them back into the van and drive home. By the time we got there my boss met us at the door. Everything was okay. And we all managed to walk away with a cowboy hat.
My life is so strange.