So lately
All i've been doing is working like a dog, presenting papers (total: 2 since my last post here), freaking out at/about conferences, & writing rather blatently hostile letters to members of my department involved in hiring decisions. i'm taking 3 classes (2 seminars). In one, i have to read ~500-700 lines of Greek a week. It's brutal. i have about 8 projects that i'm trying to finish up and all i want to do is sleep & play old video games. Mostly because i'm incredibly sleep-deprived on account of all the work.
Oh, and let's not forget standing in front of my two sections of Latin and generally being awkward. i'm really bad. i can't fake the "peppy teacher" vibe and i'm not confident enough to pull off the "mellow & melancholic" persona. So i just stand up there and resist the urge to apologize for acting like such a moron. It feels like high school, honestly - we're not all that separated in age (i'm pretty sure at least a couple are still older than i am) & i just feel judged - i mean, i judged my teachers in undergrad & i would have despised someone as hesitant as me.
It doesn't help that both semesters this year have started with administrative mistakes that created really awkward situations for which i had to apologize, even though they were not remotely my fault.
Man, if anyone from class ever reads this: sorry, guys. i am way too uptight. i'm pretty sure that if they ever legalized marijuana, i'd be a shoo-in for a prescription. Not that i would smoke it or anything. But yeah, a stoned me would probably be a far more effective & tolerable teacher.
Oh, and let's not forget standing in front of my two sections of Latin and generally being awkward. i'm really bad. i can't fake the "peppy teacher" vibe and i'm not confident enough to pull off the "mellow & melancholic" persona. So i just stand up there and resist the urge to apologize for acting like such a moron. It feels like high school, honestly - we're not all that separated in age (i'm pretty sure at least a couple are still older than i am) & i just feel judged - i mean, i judged my teachers in undergrad & i would have despised someone as hesitant as me.
It doesn't help that both semesters this year have started with administrative mistakes that created really awkward situations for which i had to apologize, even though they were not remotely my fault.
Man, if anyone from class ever reads this: sorry, guys. i am way too uptight. i'm pretty sure that if they ever legalized marijuana, i'd be a shoo-in for a prescription. Not that i would smoke it or anything. But yeah, a stoned me would probably be a far more effective & tolerable teacher.