magical mystery whore (i think i just made that up but i doubt it)
so this friday jerid will be here around 1130pm. he's bringing clothes and flying into san fran, where i will pick him up.
i am so excited to see him. i can remember saying bye to him, and crying cause i thought i'd be moving on in the relationship part of my life.
we've talked about it, and he made it clear that he was just moochin off my residence to have a place to live for a bit until he can get on his own two feet. So its not like im expecting my romeo to come save me from my hippy and latino step brothers. although, it is a nice fantasy to have. you never know how things will work.
see, i have no idea what to expect, and the uncertainty is the only part leaving me unrelieved. sometimes i wonder what it is about this guy. i know we almost had a baby but this attraction was there long before that chapter was written. is it really so conveiniet that i moved out here and now he is? i mean that as in what does the future hold. i might be over thinking with my female brain/hormones, i am aware of that. but when it seems we cant get away from each other, it just leaves a person wondering what the hell, you know?
like brian asked me last night, "if you two are so close, why arent you THAT close?"
it was hard to answer but i managed to bring up the bickering of my health freakishness ungratedul blahdy blah and his overly logical workaholic such n such. Granted, I cant think of a real reason. and do i just fuck him so good that he needs to fly over 2000 miles to get some? sorry to be explicit, but im allowed so why not put it out there? it's not like it isint going to happen...
i think the bulk of my journal entries in this entire livejournal are my raves and rants on jerid christian flener. there is a mexican man here, he works for the brian who i rent from. the guys name is Leo, and he's married, which was too bad because i find him very attractive ( what a coincidence he looks like a latio jerid) what the fuck? oh well fuck it!
fuck it happens to be one of the best mottos i have adopted from Ignasio, who is my neighbor that keeps me from being too bored when im not working. so fuck it!
its funny, i find myself wanting to quit hanging out with these older hippy dudes with long hair and beards who happen to be alcoholics (im not over exagerating), if they are not sleeping they are drinking) i made 33 dollars today from their glass beer bottles i collected in 1-3 weeks. aka, my truck bed full!) back to the story... i find myself prefering the company of the middle aged mexicans who do construction and Ignasio who used to work for the hilton and get paid bank til they let go of lotsa workers. they are just real people, no games, no weird conversations that make my throte and stomch tight, no crap. just honest, respectable, hilarious, fun guys. they have a few nicknames for me: aguacate (avocado in spanish), barbie, and they love to call me my real name alexandra.
i think one night sooner or later im going to write descriptions of all my friends here just because. but not tonight.
this blog was for getting some blah blah blahs of honorable mr flener out of my head so i can sleep some tonight. i really am so happy he's going to be here, its not fancy and now i have to live in room with no window because i couldnt very well share a room with brian and jerid, so i had to move into a different area of the house. and im also doin a temp two week job so i can pay half the rent this month for this windowless room. its different seeing as i was paying nothing at all. oh the things we do in the name of love. im not in love with him, but i love him more than any other man ive ever met. but that might change if i ever get a chance with brandon gilbert the ex jingy boy.
haha
so its a beautiful full glowing moon here in my back yard behind the plum tree. yay for beauty.
our peach tree had one peach on it, and it fell from the tree the day i found it, so i ate it and loved the hell out of it. and i also know why the romans/greeks eat the entire stem of grapes in those little cartoons were they're getting all drunk on wine and shit... its because when the grapes are fing fresh, they stems are so tender and edible, you just drop the whole vine in your mouth with the magical sweet sour fresh half rips baby graplings. oh the joy of fruit growing in your backyard.
we also have one rose bush taller than me now, which had 50 buds/flowers on it until we started pruning and picking them...
okay ive talked enough.
lovins
i am so excited to see him. i can remember saying bye to him, and crying cause i thought i'd be moving on in the relationship part of my life.
we've talked about it, and he made it clear that he was just moochin off my residence to have a place to live for a bit until he can get on his own two feet. So its not like im expecting my romeo to come save me from my hippy and latino step brothers. although, it is a nice fantasy to have. you never know how things will work.
see, i have no idea what to expect, and the uncertainty is the only part leaving me unrelieved. sometimes i wonder what it is about this guy. i know we almost had a baby but this attraction was there long before that chapter was written. is it really so conveiniet that i moved out here and now he is? i mean that as in what does the future hold. i might be over thinking with my female brain/hormones, i am aware of that. but when it seems we cant get away from each other, it just leaves a person wondering what the hell, you know?
like brian asked me last night, "if you two are so close, why arent you THAT close?"
it was hard to answer but i managed to bring up the bickering of my health freakishness ungratedul blahdy blah and his overly logical workaholic such n such. Granted, I cant think of a real reason. and do i just fuck him so good that he needs to fly over 2000 miles to get some? sorry to be explicit, but im allowed so why not put it out there? it's not like it isint going to happen...
i think the bulk of my journal entries in this entire livejournal are my raves and rants on jerid christian flener. there is a mexican man here, he works for the brian who i rent from. the guys name is Leo, and he's married, which was too bad because i find him very attractive ( what a coincidence he looks like a latio jerid) what the fuck? oh well fuck it!
fuck it happens to be one of the best mottos i have adopted from Ignasio, who is my neighbor that keeps me from being too bored when im not working. so fuck it!
its funny, i find myself wanting to quit hanging out with these older hippy dudes with long hair and beards who happen to be alcoholics (im not over exagerating), if they are not sleeping they are drinking) i made 33 dollars today from their glass beer bottles i collected in 1-3 weeks. aka, my truck bed full!) back to the story... i find myself prefering the company of the middle aged mexicans who do construction and Ignasio who used to work for the hilton and get paid bank til they let go of lotsa workers. they are just real people, no games, no weird conversations that make my throte and stomch tight, no crap. just honest, respectable, hilarious, fun guys. they have a few nicknames for me: aguacate (avocado in spanish), barbie, and they love to call me my real name alexandra.
i think one night sooner or later im going to write descriptions of all my friends here just because. but not tonight.
this blog was for getting some blah blah blahs of honorable mr flener out of my head so i can sleep some tonight. i really am so happy he's going to be here, its not fancy and now i have to live in room with no window because i couldnt very well share a room with brian and jerid, so i had to move into a different area of the house. and im also doin a temp two week job so i can pay half the rent this month for this windowless room. its different seeing as i was paying nothing at all. oh the things we do in the name of love. im not in love with him, but i love him more than any other man ive ever met. but that might change if i ever get a chance with brandon gilbert the ex jingy boy.
haha
so its a beautiful full glowing moon here in my back yard behind the plum tree. yay for beauty.
our peach tree had one peach on it, and it fell from the tree the day i found it, so i ate it and loved the hell out of it. and i also know why the romans/greeks eat the entire stem of grapes in those little cartoons were they're getting all drunk on wine and shit... its because when the grapes are fing fresh, they stems are so tender and edible, you just drop the whole vine in your mouth with the magical sweet sour fresh half rips baby graplings. oh the joy of fruit growing in your backyard.
we also have one rose bush taller than me now, which had 50 buds/flowers on it until we started pruning and picking them...
okay ive talked enough.
lovins