parents are writing

[alessandrastarr]

I added picture of my parents to website's photo album. They are both old pictures, before my parents knew each other.



http://alessandra_starr.tripod.com/photos/mother.jpg
This one is my mother when she was still in high school in Korea



http://alessandra_starr.tripod.com/photos/father.jpg
This is my father in Vietnam, during the Vietnam "Conflict." My father calls it his "baby killer" photo because that is what he was called after he returned from Vietnam.

I need some help on my story again, please, please.
Here is the original arrangement:

Only, now, warnings were being issued from every comp. Rain was coming.
Acid rain.
Burning rain. Rain that would sear her and singe everything that she owned.
Being outside didn't normally bother her, but this rain wouldn't bring just cold and wet. It would bring pain and make her wish that her flesh would just peel off.

I was thinking of changing it to:

Being outside didn't normally bother her, only now warnings were being issued from every comp. Rain was coming.
Burning acid rain. Rain that would sear her and singe everything that she owned. This rain wouldn't bring just cold and wet. It would bring pain and make her wish that her flesh would just peel off.