hm
wow, its been awhile huh? im a freshman at the unviersity of montevallo now. second semester. i like it here alot. alot of things have changed since the beginning of senior year like who i am friends with, something that i wish i could change but i think ive just about screwed that relationship up enough and i only end up hurting people when i try to show them how much i care for them, other things that have changed are...o i got a tattoo, its hot, and i dyed the underneathe of my hair black but its mostly faded out now but i want to dye it again. yeah, and for the most part im good, except for random shots off pain through my heart when i dwell to long on unforgiving memories and of the place i used to call home and the friends i used to be so close to that are now scattered all over the world. the only guy that i would want to ever marry lives forever away, and the only other person i loved just as much as him or even more, hates me for very good reasons i guess, which makes it worse, i mean maybe if i hadnt done anything wrong i could be mad, but i was all the time screwing things up and being a complete idiot and jerk. and what can you do when youve said sorry so many times it becomes meaningless to the person you are apologizing to. and i lie when i say i dont feel that way but it hurts to breathe, and i wish i could fall but my knees are locked and my throat wont talk what good i am to anyone anyway.