Долгожданное - внезапно
Недавно у меня случилась радость, которая затмила собой даже Аляскинский план.
Принесла я свое очередное сочинение на ошибки проверять, а меня окрестили strong writer-oм и позвали работать в колледжский журнал. Сейчас радость сменилась неразберихой: работать мне нельзя, даже на неполную ставку; теперь нужно прийти на какую-то встречу и спросить толпу людей о том, что я же МОГУ делать.
Тем не менее, предложение продолжает меня греть.
И желание перевести его из разряда комплиментов в свою деятельность зашкаливает.
Текст, который поспособствовал зарождению надежд, прилагается. Может, это не очень интересно, но мне - важно.
Seeing the whole rainbow
If I were to spend all eternity in one moment, which moment would I choose? This is one of the main questions that people ask themselves after watching the Hirokazu Kore-eda’s film After Life.
My answer came to me instantly, like a flash that lit everything in my mind with those colors, smells and feelings I still remember so well. It was an early morning, but the sun was already up, filling every single leaf with its summer tenderness and warmth. I stood on the small wooden bridge above the ravine. The solitary park was behind me, and before, as far as the eye could see, was the azure sea. Everything was still sleeping but me, and, fully awakened, I was listening - to the trees’ whisper, to the waves’ deep breath, to some faint accordion melody and to the silence inside of me. That place I came to so spontaneously was greeting me, I felt it. The sea was kissing my skin with the moist salt air, and the earth was giving me its glow through hot sand and dust.
Yet not only did nature make me feel harmony at that moment, but the trip also helped me to see myself as whole and complete. I was 19, almost in love and completely free. I had hitchhiked my way to Kerch, a small seaport in Ukraine, with a friend I barely knew, being very happy with my decision. In this memory I’m standing here alone while my friend is still sleeping in our tent on the beach. This loneliness feels strangely pleasant to me, without a hint of insecurity. I bear a lot of love inside - to my mother I already do not have, to my best friend who is still so close to me and to my future husband that I’ve just met. However, the most unusual feeling I have at the moment - self-acceptance, and I think this is what makes this memory so special to me. It is an early morning - of the day and of my life. The sun is rising, lighting everything up, making things clearer. The breath of the sea inside of me is calm and deep. I’m only and already 19, full of hope, strength and life, and everything is so beautiful and possible.
The moment I’ve described symbolizes youth and freedom to me, and I love it for the emotions it makes me feel. However, this answer to the question of choosing one memory came to me not alone, but was accompanied by the bunch of other questions. Does this moment you choose determine who you are? Or only who you want to be? Is it enough to have only one memory in eternity? I imagined myself in the shoes of one of the characters from After Life - locked inside a room with the film about one single day. Does it look like heaven or hell? I understand characters of the film who can’t choose and don’t want to do it. Though someone can consider it to be inability to find anything bright in a life, and others can call it immaturity or protest, I find this refusal to conclude the whole of experience in one memory to be very wise. Your life is changing, and so are you. Every step you’ve taken and every side of your identity has big value, and it is wrong to compare it or try to determine yourself through one image. A rainbow isn’t only blue, and to have a complete picture you need all the colors.
Of course, the film itself is a metaphor, very thoughtful and beautiful, and I think it implies much more than meets the eye. I see the thought about how important it is to be here and now in an example of Klyo Nishimura, an old lady who acts like a child. She is so happy just observing cherry blossoms or walking in the garden. The calmness she has reminds me of a Zen Buddhist view of living which teaches people to be truly in a moment. I think, this lady already has everything she needs to feel herself whole and happy, and I’m sure she didn’t really need to make the choice.
Thinking about my own memory, I see the influence of this old lady on my choice. The ability to see the beauty of here and now is very important, if you want to taste life fully, and I’m glad it wasn’t hard for me to find moments in which I managed to dissolve. Finally, I’m very happy I don’t need to choose anything for eternity and can keep the whole kaleidoscope of my precious memories with me - with tears, flights, smells and millions of colors’ shades. If I take any part off, I will lose my rainbow.
Принесла я свое очередное сочинение на ошибки проверять, а меня окрестили strong writer-oм и позвали работать в колледжский журнал. Сейчас радость сменилась неразберихой: работать мне нельзя, даже на неполную ставку; теперь нужно прийти на какую-то встречу и спросить толпу людей о том, что я же МОГУ делать.
Тем не менее, предложение продолжает меня греть.
И желание перевести его из разряда комплиментов в свою деятельность зашкаливает.
Текст, который поспособствовал зарождению надежд, прилагается. Может, это не очень интересно, но мне - важно.
Seeing the whole rainbow
If I were to spend all eternity in one moment, which moment would I choose? This is one of the main questions that people ask themselves after watching the Hirokazu Kore-eda’s film After Life.
My answer came to me instantly, like a flash that lit everything in my mind with those colors, smells and feelings I still remember so well. It was an early morning, but the sun was already up, filling every single leaf with its summer tenderness and warmth. I stood on the small wooden bridge above the ravine. The solitary park was behind me, and before, as far as the eye could see, was the azure sea. Everything was still sleeping but me, and, fully awakened, I was listening - to the trees’ whisper, to the waves’ deep breath, to some faint accordion melody and to the silence inside of me. That place I came to so spontaneously was greeting me, I felt it. The sea was kissing my skin with the moist salt air, and the earth was giving me its glow through hot sand and dust.
Yet not only did nature make me feel harmony at that moment, but the trip also helped me to see myself as whole and complete. I was 19, almost in love and completely free. I had hitchhiked my way to Kerch, a small seaport in Ukraine, with a friend I barely knew, being very happy with my decision. In this memory I’m standing here alone while my friend is still sleeping in our tent on the beach. This loneliness feels strangely pleasant to me, without a hint of insecurity. I bear a lot of love inside - to my mother I already do not have, to my best friend who is still so close to me and to my future husband that I’ve just met. However, the most unusual feeling I have at the moment - self-acceptance, and I think this is what makes this memory so special to me. It is an early morning - of the day and of my life. The sun is rising, lighting everything up, making things clearer. The breath of the sea inside of me is calm and deep. I’m only and already 19, full of hope, strength and life, and everything is so beautiful and possible.
The moment I’ve described symbolizes youth and freedom to me, and I love it for the emotions it makes me feel. However, this answer to the question of choosing one memory came to me not alone, but was accompanied by the bunch of other questions. Does this moment you choose determine who you are? Or only who you want to be? Is it enough to have only one memory in eternity? I imagined myself in the shoes of one of the characters from After Life - locked inside a room with the film about one single day. Does it look like heaven or hell? I understand characters of the film who can’t choose and don’t want to do it. Though someone can consider it to be inability to find anything bright in a life, and others can call it immaturity or protest, I find this refusal to conclude the whole of experience in one memory to be very wise. Your life is changing, and so are you. Every step you’ve taken and every side of your identity has big value, and it is wrong to compare it or try to determine yourself through one image. A rainbow isn’t only blue, and to have a complete picture you need all the colors.
Of course, the film itself is a metaphor, very thoughtful and beautiful, and I think it implies much more than meets the eye. I see the thought about how important it is to be here and now in an example of Klyo Nishimura, an old lady who acts like a child. She is so happy just observing cherry blossoms or walking in the garden. The calmness she has reminds me of a Zen Buddhist view of living which teaches people to be truly in a moment. I think, this lady already has everything she needs to feel herself whole and happy, and I’m sure she didn’t really need to make the choice.
Thinking about my own memory, I see the influence of this old lady on my choice. The ability to see the beauty of here and now is very important, if you want to taste life fully, and I’m glad it wasn’t hard for me to find moments in which I managed to dissolve. Finally, I’m very happy I don’t need to choose anything for eternity and can keep the whole kaleidoscope of my precious memories with me - with tears, flights, smells and millions of colors’ shades. If I take any part off, I will lose my rainbow.