Kink Bingo_Gags & Silence Part 1
Title: Eta Aquarii
Chapter: 1/2
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Tora x Saga
Genre: AU, romance, fluff
Warnings: male x male, suggestiveness, manual sex, semi-public sex, foul language, adult themes.
Summary: Sometimes, its easier to build a relationship on silence when the words feel inadequate.
Commentary: So here we go again, back to Kink-Bingo! I wrote this in Ottawa in bits and pieces when I had the time, and now I'm in Toronto and I have five minutes to post so here goes (no time to edit my own stuff so I hope it won't be typo laden XD) This is my offering for the "Gags/Silence" square, and I have to say, my original idea for this was far less…fluffy. Actually it was pretty hardcore and violent, but I don't know what happened there, I just had a major craving for a Tora x Saga fluff highschool AU, so this baby happened XD It turned out pretty cute and sweet, and I actually like it so that's a good thing, and I hope all of you will also like it despite the fact that its a departure from my usual KB trend, although…not so much since I like taking different spins on the squares XD And this one is definitely unusual. Btw, Eta Aquarii is one of the brightest stars in the Aquarius constellation, if you're curious, its relevant to the story, you'll see...Enjoy!
***
Saga prided himself on being the good kid in the class.
Punctual, polite, well spoken and amiable, impeccable grades. His uniform was always pressed and in right order, tie well knotted, shirt neatly tucked. His hair was a little long for the boarding school's standards, grazing his shoulders in soft, flexible, tawny curls, but it was easily overlooked considering the perfection of his school record. They would make a few allowances for one of their best students.
The best, without a doubt.
Which really had him wondering why he had such a crush on the class bad-boy.
He refused to answer to his birth name, sticking with the rather fierce nickname of Tora, and he was everything a rebellious boy could be. His hair was ridiculously long, black with streaks of washed blonde, and always a little wild and dishevelled. He sported black nail polish and a most non-standard studded belt, never wore his tie properly, wore metal band hoodies and leather boots, scoffing audaciously when teachers called him out on his non-regulation outfits and his smoking on the school grounds. Scoffing and sneering and curses spilled from his lips with practiced ease, along with well measured snark and sarcasm, easily finding retorts for every occasion. He spent most of his classes doodling and listening to his ipod, sleeping on his unopened books. The very epitome of teenage rebellion. And he was beautiful.
Utterly and completely beautiful.
Tall and slender and elegant, with a sharp face full of perfect angles, eyes like storm clouds and amber fire, a sharp nose and groomed brows, a mouth to make the girls envious. Saga had an absolute crush on him. Not that he could control it of course. The very first day that Tora had transferred into his class from another school, looking sullen and gorgeous as he was introduced to the class, he'd been smitten with the tall, rebellious boy. Completely smitten.
He was sneaky in his observations, a bit of a side glance here and there, spying from the other side of the classroom as the tall boy doodled absentmindedly on the lined pages of his notebooks, looking out the window with a bored look on his perfect features. Careful not to get noticed. Not that Tora was a bully or anything, if anything he got the brunt of the mean teasing from the class jocks that made fun of his foreign looks, but he didn't want to chance having his infatuation discovered, knowing that the dreamy look on his face whenever he thought of the raven haired boy would give him away instantly.
The rebel wasn't especially known for his studious tendencies, avoiding his homework with hardly concealed disdain. So it was a bit of a surprise for Saga to stumble on the very object of his affections in the library, after school hours nonetheless, nose buried in a thick tome. Sitting in his usual spot, notebooks spread out in a fan on the smooth table, glasses pushed up on the bridge of his nose as he read intently. Focused and quiet, jotting notes here and there.
If Saga thought that he was sexy when he acted all rebellious, this unexpected studiousness was simply stunning.
He debated within himself for a minute. Wether or not to sit with him, make his presence known, or just walk back from where he came from quietly, find himself another spot, and keep this rare sighting of the school's token bad boy in a yet unheard of state of good behaviour a pleasant little secret. And then keep on admiring the beauty in the distance, forever untouched.
He was just starting to back up when Tora's muted voice interrupted his musings, never even lifting eyes from his book.
"You can sit down if you want, plenty of room for two." he remarked simply, turning a page of the heavy tome.
His voice was deep, husky from too many cigarettes and probable nights of debauchery Saga could only begin to imagine. Blood rose to his cheeks in a rush of embarrassed heat, and he shuffled over to the empty seat across Tora, dropping his own pile of books with a dull thump. He sat down, trying his best to ignore the flush spreading across his face, spreading open his own books. And stared, disbelieving that he was there, sitting across from his crush, in a quiet library with no other distractions. It was too much to handle.
There was a tilt of raven and blonde hair, grey amber irises lifting over the edge of the dark rim of stylish glasses and a quirked eyebrow, half amused, half questioning.
"Your books are down here you know?" Tora pointed out with just a hint of smile, tapping the edge of Saga's book with his pencil.
That little quirk of his full mouth had Saga's stomach in knots, sweat breaking down his back. His words had him look down in embarrassment, and fumble with the book and his notebook and pencil case in a noisy, graceless set of gestures that had Tora's smile deepening to a full grin, showing a small row of even teeth. He didn't say anything however, bending back to his task with a slight shake of his head that only made Saga want to stand and run out of the library as fast as he could and hopefully self combust, never to be seen again. He pried open his biology book and turned to the required page for his assignment, he definitely had some work to do to be accepted in medicine, however good his current grades were. And tried his damnedest to focus, but lines would blur, words disappear, and when he realized that he'd read the same sentence about half a hundred times, he decided to just give up and give into his temptation to look up.
Tora was having no problem focusing on his task, pencil rubbing on blank paper, tapping numbers on a calculator here and there.
"What are you studying?" Saga asked, unable to stop himself.
There was a sigh, and the soft thump of the pencil being put down, and then glasses were being pulled off the sharp bridge of a slender nose and cleaned with the edge of a distinctly wrinkly shirt. Tora blinked owlishly, twice, and lifted his head towards Saga, still cleaning his glasses.
"Studying for the physics midterm."
"Ah yeah…that's coming up next week right?"
Tora nodded, slipping his glasses back on. It gave him a distinguished, slightly bookish look that only managed to make him more attractive. If that was possible.
"I never see you around here."
Not to admit that he'd been hoping against hope to run into him at some out of school event, yet terrified that he would because he probably would make a fool of himself as he currently was. Too late to jump out now, was it?
"I usually sit by the window, but I didn't want to get distracted today. I really want a good grade."
Saga nodded, not exactly sure of what he was supposed to do with the piece of information. So Tora was not as rebellious as he thought? Why would a guy that went out of his way to piss off the teachers and avoid homework actually bother getting good grades? He wanted to ask but didn't dare, bending back to his own books with a little nod.
Curiosity would have to wait.
***
Not that his curiosity wasn't piqued even more when he found Tora at the same spot the next day, and the day after that.
A strange, sometimes uneasy, sometimes casual cohabitation of the large table began, books and notes spread out in haphazard piles and intricate orders. It wasn't especially comfortable or uncomfortable, yet Saga could not stop himself from claiming that little piece of the lonely table every day and force himself to make some small talk despite his feelings of complete inadequacy every time his crush opened his mouth to speak.
Tora was friendly. Unexpectedly. His words could be sharp and acidic at times, and he certainly had a very sarcasm-inclined sense of humour, but he could hold a conversation with relative ease. Saga's stomach had done a series of excited backflips when Tora's delicate hand had fit against his slightly smaller one in a firm handshake to seal their uneasy friendship.
They would exchange tidbits of conversation, trivial things like the weather, and the classroom gossip here and there but it was mostly sitting down in companionable silence as he focused on his own tasks, or tried to, and observing the pretty raven-haired take notes, calculate, highlight passages of his books and overall be the perfect picture of a studious young man, while keeping up the sullen bad-boy act in class. It was puzzling to say the least. Puzzling enough to dare asking a few questions.
"So, what's so important about your chemistry, physics and math grades? Its all you ever focus on." he finally asked, after days of observing and questioning and over thinking himself to death about every possible reason for the raven-haired to be so dedicated to the definitely nerdy subjects.
"I want to go into astrophysics in university." Tora replied simply, pausing to sharpen his pencil neatly.
Saga dropped his highlighter, mouth falling open in what would've been a very comical way had he not been completely serious. That definitely was a shocker. Not only the fact that Tora of all people actually had plans to attend university, but in astrophysics of all subjects? It was the kind of subject for quiet, nerdy types like him, not beautiful, rebellious boys with authority complexes. Tora didn't fail to notice his slack-jawed reaction though, and put down his pencil with a tired look on his face, and a bit of disappointment too.
"I know what you're thinking." he sighed, "Probably asking yourself what a guy like me has going for him in that field…"
"But…but your behaviour? And your looks…" Saga babbled, uncomprehending.
Tora's mouth hardened in a tight line. He shut his book, a little stiffly and pushed his chair back as he stood.
"You know, there's more to life than just looks…I'm out for a smoke."
And just like that he was gone with long strides of his endless legs, leaving his books and notes, and even his jacket and backpack. Leaving a crestfallen Saga to wonder when he'd become such an oblivious idiot. Against his better judgement he left his own belongings there and followed the tall boy through the side door that lead to the library's walled garden. Tora was there, already pulling lungfuls of smoke, sitting on the edge of a snow laden bench with a rather pensive look on his face. He shuffled over to the bench, shivering in the late winter cold without his coat, hesitant, sitting at the other end.
"I'm sorry…"
Tora shrugged, exhaling a long stream of pale smoke.
"Its okay. I know what I look like. A good for nothing, rebellious, arrogant idiot."
The words were self-deprecating, defeated, and Saga just hated to hear that tone in that smooth voice. He shook his head, sliding a little closer.
"No…it was wrong of me to assume that you wouldn't be any good in school because of what you look like. I should know better…"
"Its okay. I'm used to it."
The words spoke of years of being told he wasn't worth much, years of having his worth qualified over the colours he put in his hair, the number of rips in his jeans, and Saga forgot about his infatuation for a minute and realized that there was much more to Tora than just a tough exterior. That there was softness and vulnerability underneath the hard shell of his rebellion.
"You shouldn't have to be…why astrophysics?" Saga asked, wanting to change the subject, and definitely curious.
Tora smirked then, a rare, boyish smile that took all the hard edges out of his face and made Saga's heart beat a little faster. He looked up and pointed to the darkening sky where the moon and a few bright stars were starting to peak out of the clouds.
"As a kid, I've always wanted to touch the moon. Stars fascinate me, and all that unknown infinity up there, nebulae and black holes, galaxies going on endlessly, undiscovered objects…someone has to make sense of it. I'm not saying that I'm the guy to solve the secrets of the universe, but I'd like to help, do my part you know?" he explained, his smoky voice full of dreamy, delicate undertones that made Saga's heart flutter in his chest, "Look…" he pointed to the pale crescent on the horizon, "isn't it beautiful?"
The moon was rising from a veil of reds and blues and pinks as the sun set, bright orange fire in the distance. It was beautiful. And as they watched the sun fade and set in the cool winter night in comfortable silence, Tora's cigarette burning untouched as they sat side by side, something clicked into place. Something that felt right, that sent Saga's heart racing and fluttering in exalted rhythm, more so than any other time.
He could feel it, the infatuation turning into love, and it was scary and exciting with uncertainty and unspoken tension.
Things changed after that. In the weeks and months that gave way to summer.
There were words exchanged in class when before they had somewhat ignored each other. Few words, murmured greetings, shy, conspiratorial smiles here and there, and a complicit rolling of eyes when the teacher would start a tirade about Tora's nails, hair and or lack of co-operation. Or all three, it was common fare for him really.
They kept up their studying sessions in the library, sitting face to face at the large table, books and pencils shared between them as their solitary homework became a collaborative work. Exchanges of ideas, and theories, arguments over hypotheses, hushed laughter making the elderly librarian stare at them, unimpressed.
There were murmurs and rumours over their friendship too. The class valedictorian with the bad-boy, what an odd alliance. There had to be something behind it, right? There wasn't much behind it really, except for a bond created over a passion for science, and the deluded affection of a young man for another. Deluded clearly, as Saga would lay down in his futon at night and ask himself if he was crazy for feeding the hope that one day he could come clean and admit his feelings to the other boy. And coming to the conclusion that he definitely was crazy for even hoping. There were a few girls revolving around Tora, bad-boys attracted good girls like moths to a flame. He was always very dismissive of them. Not rude by any means, but he certainly never gave in to their pleading and prodding for dates, and if anything that made them even more attracted. But he would give in one day, would he? Some of those girls were very beautiful, more than he was, and besides, they were girls where he certainly wasn't. So why did he keep on hoping, and why did he feel so special and cherished when Tora would give him that little sideways smile as he fended them off with ease.
He dealt with the murmurs, and the girls, and focused on his stolen moments in the library instead, cherishing those hours spent in quiet focus. There was no point in worrying over inconsequential things when he could have Tora for himself a few hours every day.
He took what he could have, and it would have to do.
***
Tora hadn't spread out his books that day when he arrived.
He sat down on the table instead, with an excited look on his face, smiling as soon as Saga showed up. That warm grin he hoped the tall raven-haired only had for him.
"I have a surprise for you today!" he exclaimed, a loud whisper, standing from his perch and grabbing onto Saga's hand as he pulled him through the library's alleys to a side door, "That is if you're willing to break a few rules of course…"
Saga was too flustered at the contact between their bodies, however minute it was, through palms and fingers entwined to even think straight as he was pulled through and dragged up the fire escape stairs.
"What kind of rules?" he managed through panting breaths.
Tora chuckled at that, pausing to turn to him, his bright eyes aglow, delicate pink flush tinting his cheeks in the loveliest of ways. Saga's heart raced, thumping and heavy in his chest, hot and cold and feeling the most alive he's ever been.
"Just a bit of trespassing, but its worth it I swear."
Not likely that he was being given a choice as Tora kept ascending the stairs with long strides of his endless legs, hand still firmly entwined with his. They reached another door at the top and emerged on the roof of the school just as the sun was setting. Tora jumped over the security railing, giving Saga a hand to follow and they shuffled over to one of the high air vents, climbing up the narrow ladder to the very top of it. Probably the highest point of the entire school, they could see everything from there. The school grounds and the buildings, and of course a perfect view of the sunset. Tora sat down on the top of the vent, guiding Saga to sit beside him as they admired the pink and orange sky.
But they'd seen sunsets before. Granted, maybe not from the top of the school where they were currently trespassing, adding an edge of excitement to the whole thing, but there had to be something else. Just as those thoughts were going through Saga's mind, Tora reached in the side pocket of his backpack and extricated a silver flask, offering it with a grin.
"You might want to add underage drinking to that list of rule breaking…" he teased as Saga gingerly grabbed the flask from warm fingers.
He'd never really drank alcohol unsupervised. The odd tasting of the stuff in his dad's alcohol cabinet and the wine his parents sometimes allowed him at dinner certainly didn't count. He hadn't really attended drinking parties, and he often eschewed going out in favour of studying. He was just 17 after all, he had time to experiment, and now seemed like a good time to do so. This was something new and unexpected and forbidden, and yet exhilarating as he uncapped the top of the flask, sniffing the contents. The harsh solvent, earthy scent of whiskey assailed his nose and he winced.
"Never had whiskey before?" Tora asked, lighting a cigarette.
"Not really. A sip from my mom's glass once, I think."
The tall raven-haired smirked, exhaling white smoke, and then his arm slipped around Saga's shoulders. The gesture friendly yet tinted with this budding intimacy between them, this closeness that they had been building up since the winter that made Saga's heart beat faster.
"I won't force you if you don't want to."
There was a quiet sweetness to the words that only made Saga want to do it if only to please him. He tilted the flask up and tipped a few drops of the contents in his mouth, the whiskey a fiery burn on his tongue, down his throat. It didn't taste especially good, but it felt amazing going down, such a good burn seeping into his stomach, making him lightheaded in the best of ways.
"Its not bad…" he gasped, clearing his already hoarse throat.
Tora snorted and gently pulled the flask out of his fingers, taking a sip too and wincing.
"Its not great either. But it feels good going down doesn't it?" Tora conceded.
The warmth raced in his belly and he felt dizzy and in love and just amazing. He chuckled, nodding.
"It feels amazing."
There was an uncharacteristically shy smile from the raven haired boy, a smile that filled young hearts with unspoken hopes and dreams and something darker and deeper. Something Saga refused to allow himself to even consider, something he could only begin to imagine the delights of in the darkest hour of the night. When he lay there with his thoughts and desires, his body responding to fleeting caresses of his own fingers, mind full of eyes like green-amber fire and pale skin, husky murmurs and soft smiles. He felt his own cheeks heat up at the thought and focused on the darkening night sky instead, a much safer sight.
"So, what are we up to?" he finally asked after a silence, the only sound their soft breathing, Tora's smoky inhales and exhales.
"We have to wait for the sky to get a little darker, but you'll see soon enough…" he replied, handing Saga the flask once again.
A few more minutes of comfortable silence elapsed before it was fully dark, and then the moon rose, dark pink and red and huge, the biggest Saga had ever seen it. It was an awe inducing sight to be sure.
"Is that the moon? Its so big!"
Tora chuckled, having another sip from the flask before handing it to Saga.
"Its because tonight, the moon is the closest it gets to earth in the year. Almost close enough to touch…" Tora murmured, close to his ear, enough for his lips to brush strands of his hair, "I wanted you to see it, its called a blood-moon or a super-moon, but there's something else I want you to see, we just have to wait a little…"
They looked at the moonrise in awed silence, the bright disk rising above the horizon and losing its reddish tone as the sun fully disappeared and gave way to the night, stars starting to peek in the blue-black sky. Tora pointed to a very bright star a little to their right, above the horizon.
"You see this?"
"Yeah. What is it?"
"Jupiter."
"No way! Really? I didn't think you could see planets with the naked eye…"
Tora smirked, and his arm around his shoulders slipped down to his waist, holding him close, side to side.
"This one you can, its always in the aquarius constellation…" he sketched some imaginary lines with his fingertip, " Do you see the shape? It looks like a stick-figure pouring water from a vase. This is where we should look to see that event I took you up here for."
"Some astronomical event?" he asked, voice hushed as he leaned comfortably against Tora's taller frame.
Forgetting about his insecurities, his doubts as he lay his head against a firm shoulder, stomach full of warmth and butterflies, exalted at being on top of a roof in a forbidden place at night with the boy he loves.
"Yeah. Any time now…"
There was a pregnant pause, and just as he was gonna ask Tora what kind of event it was, a flash of light crossed the night sky. Saga straightened up and pointed excitedly, childlike excitement bubbling in his chest.
"Was that a shooting star!"
Tora laughed then, stubbing his third cigarette as he hugged his knees close to his chest, keeping an arm around Saga, heavy and warm around his waist.
"It was. Its the Eta Aquariid meteor shower tonight, one of the brightest of the year, so we should see a bunch."
"Really? That's so amazing!"
"I really wanted to share that with you…" Tora murmured, suddenly shy, a light flush spreading across high cheekbones.
It was so…so unconsciously romantic, and thoughtful and…so very Tora. Beautiful, rebellious, unbelievably smart Tora, that hid his softness, his insecurity, his innate skill with numbers and abstraction and obscure theoretical hypotheses behind a tough exterior. So that the child that wanted to touch the moon in his heart wouldn't get hurt.
"Next time you see one, make a wish…"
Their relationship was clearly defined by those quiet moments between them. It had started in the safe silence of the library, where they could sit together hours without uttering a word, communicating so much more efficiently via subtle physical cues, glances and smiles. And now they were silent again, waiting for that flash of light across the sky. He didn't need words. Tora's warm presence was enough.
It was an easy wish to make when another meteorite shot across the night, a bright trail of light in the darkness.
"Close your eyes, and think of what you want the most…" Tora whispered.
You. All I want is you. All I want is for you to kiss me.
A blanket was pulled out of Tora's backpack, and they lay back on the warm concrete, observing the stars and the odd flash of light with shared smiles. Their arms touched where they lay, warm and slick in the early summer night, but that didn't keep Saga from shivering when the warmth of the day seeped out to let the coolness of the night in. Tora sat up, unzipped his black hoodie.
"I totally forgot to bring you a sweater, silly me…" he muttered, shrugging out of the dark fabric.
Saga sat up too, a little too fast, sending more stars spinning behind his eyes, a little drunk and giddy with whiskey and teenage romance.
"I'm okay…"
"Nonsense, you're shivering. Here…" he draped the warm, body heated fabric across his narrow shoulders, making sure he was well bundled up, "That's much better isn't it?"
The hoodie was loose and soft and perfectly worn, smelled of clean skin and subtle cologne, a hint of menthol tobacco, and he never, ever wanted to take it off. There was a noise off to their left as Saga was about to reply, a door opening and closing, and before he knew it Saga was pushed down against the blanket with a warm body on top of his, Tora's hand pressed against his mouth, hot breath against his neck.
"Its the security guard." Tora mouthed against his ear, "He won't notice us if we're silent."
Saga nodded, and the hand was softly removed from his lips, but he was immensely aware of the weight on top of him, warm breaths against his neck, and he willed his drunken body not to react to the closeness. The excitement of having to stay quiet, both their hearts racing gave an edge of danger to their spontaneous embrace, and he sighed breathlessly when Tora carefully rolled off him, lying down quiet across from him, eyes glittering amber in the dark. Tora gestured for him to keep quiet, pushing a finger to his lips, just as the security guard decided to hum a silly song to himself as he did his rounds. In a very off key, nasal voice that had Tora make a half-surprised, half disbelieving face mixed with utter hilarity quickly muffled against a hand.
Saga had to shove his fingers in his mouth not to explode, snorting and shaking with silent laughter as they both had to endure the guard's terrible singing voice, Tora literally rolling around beside him with both hands plastered to his mouth not to make a sound. It felt like hours, and even after the guard had disappeared through the door, they waited a little while to be sure he was out of earshot before freeing their mouths and letting out breathless, exhausted fits of uncontrollable hilarity.
"Oh god…" Tora wheezed, "Was he singing that beer commercial jingle?" he managed between heaving breaths.
Saga wasn't doing much better, still laughing until tears pearled at the corners of his eyes.
"He was…but oh my he sounded so terrible!"
"That was such a close one…" Tora chuckled, grabbing the whiskey flask and tipping some into his mouth, offering it to Saga who took it gingerly.
"Man that stuff tastes pretty bad. Good buzz, but the taste…" he complained, having a laboured sip if only for his parched throat, sitting up.
Tora sat up too, thoughtful, accepting the flask back. He looked up to Saga with a somewhat uncertain look in his eyes, calculating after a fashion, hilarity momentarily forgotten.
"You know, there's a way to make whiskey much better. Its pretty easy too."
"Oh yeah, what is it?"
"I'll show you."
Tora tipped the flask into his mouth, but instead of swallowing it all, he got close, so close, and Saga felt his head spin and his heart thump out of his chest as Tora's hands tilted his face back two handed, eyes unsure yet glowing and beautiful, those warm hands on his jaw tenderly holding him up.
There was a sharp indrawn breath, and then he was being kissed. Lips on lips, so much happening all at once he could only let the beautiful raven haired boy guide him as he let himself be dominated completely. There was the warm pressure of Tora's smooth lips first, and then whiskey soaked tongue as he yielded to that firm mouth, parting his lips to allow slick muscle to entangle and mingle closely, intimately. It was slow, unhurried, many weeks in the making yet as spontaneous as a meteorite flashing across the skies. His head spun and his heart soared because the boy he had been aching for, wanting, adoring from a distance yet so close was there, warm and solid and holding him tight, kissing him.
It was endless yet too short when they parted, flushed and breathless and eager, Tora's hands soft as they brushed strands out of his eyes, and then he was being kissed again, more hungrily this time, hands clenching on his shoulders as he was gently lowered to the blankets, pleasantly trapped underneath a strong body. His mouth was thoroughly plundered, yet he gave as good as he got, fingers tangling in wild hair, teeth and tongue giving back in kind as they caressed each other. Tora broke the kiss first, panting and gasping, the widest of smiles twisting his kiss swollen mouth as he leaned above him in his wild haired glory.
"So, does that help the whiskey go down?" he asked, playfully, voice low and husky and sending tremors down Saga's spine.
He felt hot and cold and eager. He never wanted this night to end.
"Yes…yes it does. But maybe I need another taste, to be sure…" he whispered, dragging a grinning raven haired boy right back down onto him for more kisses.
More kisses, more caresses, and maybe even some whispered endearments when all of the school was asleep quietly in the dorms, in that grey light between night and dawn.
As they made out, breathlessly and relentlessly on the smooth blanket underneath the glowing moon, Saga absentmindedly told himself he'd have to thank the stars, for that was a wish quickly granted indeed.
***
Part 2