(no subject)
Well, I finished the play and sent it to the club president, and maybe its quite late and maybe its an absolute piece of nothing, but at least I did it. At least I sort of finished something for a change. I left all my painting stuff in the Fox building, and hopefully it won't get stolen. Andy should be working there all night (I saw him on his way and helped get his stuff into the shuttle) so I am not too worried, although I do regret that he has to stay up. The painting has been taking me several days and many, many hours, scraping it off, reworking it and reworking it, and I am still not satisfied with it. Its probably an absolute piece of nothing, but at least I worked as hard as was possible, I hope. The assignment was just to start it, I guess, but it bothers me how I just can't seem to get it right. The paint and turpenoid (or gamsol) get all over me, the smells are strong despite the supposed odorlessness and the palette gets messy and I just can't bother to "regain control" as Joe Adolphe said back in pre-college.
(He was a stickler for order. He said that if you have a well maintained palette/studio/etc. then you will lead a good, productive, happy life, and be sucesful. He also said, "remember, everybody who was anybody came from nowhere and had nothing." Thats not necessarily true, but I guess its inspirational. He was an inspirational sort, and quite fun, despite the difficulty. Too bad he teaches somewhere in New York. But I am happy with the teachers I have had and have this year.) Digression.
My palette is messy and oily, and despite arranging the colors the way he showed ("uptown and downtown"), I can't manage to remember or take the time or make the effort to keep it clean. According to Joe, the prognosis is not good. I am very dissatisfied with my capacities and my work. The orange project we had to do for Phenomena of Color is right now looking like trash, which it very soon probably will be, unless I figure out a way to make it work by wednesday. Yesterday, I think, I got Titanium White on a cut in my thumb which that very morning was bleeding, and I am in general very bad about paint safety, which means that sooner or later its off to the sickbed with me, or I will just go really crazy. I prefer the former.
I guess thats all really depressing. I am not that bad, really. And I don't mean to complain. I guess I just need to vent a little. In any case, that darn painting might be junk, but at least I did it. At least I sort of finished something for a change. And I don't have to stay there till morning.
The Fox building gets sort of strange at night. Its completely lit up the whole time, and there are traces of people everywhere, and from the windows you can see a pretty wide view of Baltimore, with the train passing right by until a certain hour and cars at all hours, though they grow scarce after a time. Sometimes you can hear or see one or two other late workers scuffle around outside the studios, or the custodians or the security guards. (The security guard at the desk, when signing me in, said that he knew what floor I was going to. I like that, I've always wanted to be somehow recognizable, like a regular.) Sometimes though I realize that I might be in the building almost entirely alone. On the second floor, down the hall and next to the window that looks out on those trees that remind me of Azerbaijan for some reason, there is a large glass display case filled up with skulls and dead flowers. It stands next to the nature lab door, and the skulls belong to different animals: rams, goats, cows, I think even an elephant or some such creature. They take on a different meaning sometime. I was looking at the exhibition on the fourth floor tonight and there was a video called "Elephant Man", or at least that was part of the title. It has a dark room with two spotlights, one distant and one near. A person in a dark mantle, with a cane and a strange white, baggy cloth mask, with only one eyehole, over his or her head, comes out to this very pretty sad music, and moves towards the camera, and then he is lying in the nearest circle. Then he stands in it, swaying back and forth to the music untill suddenly there is an eruption of this Silent Hillish type sound over the speakers (I am half inclined to think that the artist just straight ripped Pyramid Head sounds from the game) and then this sound becomes a strange, happy reggae song, and the elephant man does a little dance for a while, which basically just involves him swaying a little harder. I am not saying it was the greatest thing ever, though I think the idea was actually pretty wonderful, but I thought it was funny, and since I just write random thoughts here anyway, I figured this part was as good as any to include.
Oh, and Claudia sent me the Moliere book. Thank you very much; receiving correspondence from a friend definitely brightens my day. It made me quite happy. I will do my best to read it and stick with it.
So, there are plenty of positive things in the world. Sometimes its just hard to keep afloat. I am actually excited about painting tomorrow, and I will fix my Wednesday work.
(He was a stickler for order. He said that if you have a well maintained palette/studio/etc. then you will lead a good, productive, happy life, and be sucesful. He also said, "remember, everybody who was anybody came from nowhere and had nothing." Thats not necessarily true, but I guess its inspirational. He was an inspirational sort, and quite fun, despite the difficulty. Too bad he teaches somewhere in New York. But I am happy with the teachers I have had and have this year.) Digression.
My palette is messy and oily, and despite arranging the colors the way he showed ("uptown and downtown"), I can't manage to remember or take the time or make the effort to keep it clean. According to Joe, the prognosis is not good. I am very dissatisfied with my capacities and my work. The orange project we had to do for Phenomena of Color is right now looking like trash, which it very soon probably will be, unless I figure out a way to make it work by wednesday. Yesterday, I think, I got Titanium White on a cut in my thumb which that very morning was bleeding, and I am in general very bad about paint safety, which means that sooner or later its off to the sickbed with me, or I will just go really crazy. I prefer the former.
I guess thats all really depressing. I am not that bad, really. And I don't mean to complain. I guess I just need to vent a little. In any case, that darn painting might be junk, but at least I did it. At least I sort of finished something for a change. And I don't have to stay there till morning.
The Fox building gets sort of strange at night. Its completely lit up the whole time, and there are traces of people everywhere, and from the windows you can see a pretty wide view of Baltimore, with the train passing right by until a certain hour and cars at all hours, though they grow scarce after a time. Sometimes you can hear or see one or two other late workers scuffle around outside the studios, or the custodians or the security guards. (The security guard at the desk, when signing me in, said that he knew what floor I was going to. I like that, I've always wanted to be somehow recognizable, like a regular.) Sometimes though I realize that I might be in the building almost entirely alone. On the second floor, down the hall and next to the window that looks out on those trees that remind me of Azerbaijan for some reason, there is a large glass display case filled up with skulls and dead flowers. It stands next to the nature lab door, and the skulls belong to different animals: rams, goats, cows, I think even an elephant or some such creature. They take on a different meaning sometime. I was looking at the exhibition on the fourth floor tonight and there was a video called "Elephant Man", or at least that was part of the title. It has a dark room with two spotlights, one distant and one near. A person in a dark mantle, with a cane and a strange white, baggy cloth mask, with only one eyehole, over his or her head, comes out to this very pretty sad music, and moves towards the camera, and then he is lying in the nearest circle. Then he stands in it, swaying back and forth to the music untill suddenly there is an eruption of this Silent Hillish type sound over the speakers (I am half inclined to think that the artist just straight ripped Pyramid Head sounds from the game) and then this sound becomes a strange, happy reggae song, and the elephant man does a little dance for a while, which basically just involves him swaying a little harder. I am not saying it was the greatest thing ever, though I think the idea was actually pretty wonderful, but I thought it was funny, and since I just write random thoughts here anyway, I figured this part was as good as any to include.
Oh, and Claudia sent me the Moliere book. Thank you very much; receiving correspondence from a friend definitely brightens my day. It made me quite happy. I will do my best to read it and stick with it.
So, there are plenty of positive things in the world. Sometimes its just hard to keep afloat. I am actually excited about painting tomorrow, and I will fix my Wednesday work.