(no subject)
I will NOT be able to sleep tonight. Or maybe ever again. In this house. Because I am scared.
Sarah and I were sitting outside and Isobel went nuts, like NUTS nuts. She had her ridge up, and she ran between the two gates growling and barking her head off, like she does when someone is here, except in an aggressive way that scared me. She was sniffing the air and then just stood and stared out into the driveway, growling. Sarah and I were sitting there with worried looks on our faces. Then we heard someone walking toward us. We ran into the house with the dog and locked the door. Watched out the glass door for a few minutes, then I went to check out the window of my room 'cause it faces the road. I didn't turn my light on and got to it as quietly as possible I moved the curtain a bit and heard someone go "Shhhh". Thank god my window was open or I wouldn't have heard it. So Sarah and I sat by her window and listened... Isobel came running in, jumped up and leant on the window ledge, and growled, ridge up, teeth bared. I said very loudly "Sarah, get the gun!" (We do have a gun somewhere on our property, I think only mum knows where it is, though). We woke up mum and she just marched outside, turned all the lights on and walked out the front muttering threats. She couldn't see anyone. Mum and Sarah are in bed now, it's just me, Isobel and Milo awake. I'm too freaked out to sleep. I know my mind, and I know that I am, well, a paranoid fucking schizophrenic, so I'll misinterpret any weird sound, or my mind will just make them up. So lying down in the dark and in silence is not a good option right now. But I have an old machete and my phone on me. And if anything happens, I can just hit the police button on our house alarm and they'll be here fast as can be. And set off the alarm at the same time.
We're installing a security light asap, and I am not leaving the doors wide open when I'm inside the house by myself. Or at night.
So fucking shaky. I don't think a couple of Seroquel will do the trick tonight :(
Sarah and I were sitting outside and Isobel went nuts, like NUTS nuts. She had her ridge up, and she ran between the two gates growling and barking her head off, like she does when someone is here, except in an aggressive way that scared me. She was sniffing the air and then just stood and stared out into the driveway, growling. Sarah and I were sitting there with worried looks on our faces. Then we heard someone walking toward us. We ran into the house with the dog and locked the door. Watched out the glass door for a few minutes, then I went to check out the window of my room 'cause it faces the road. I didn't turn my light on and got to it as quietly as possible I moved the curtain a bit and heard someone go "Shhhh". Thank god my window was open or I wouldn't have heard it. So Sarah and I sat by her window and listened... Isobel came running in, jumped up and leant on the window ledge, and growled, ridge up, teeth bared. I said very loudly "Sarah, get the gun!" (We do have a gun somewhere on our property, I think only mum knows where it is, though). We woke up mum and she just marched outside, turned all the lights on and walked out the front muttering threats. She couldn't see anyone. Mum and Sarah are in bed now, it's just me, Isobel and Milo awake. I'm too freaked out to sleep. I know my mind, and I know that I am, well, a paranoid fucking schizophrenic, so I'll misinterpret any weird sound, or my mind will just make them up. So lying down in the dark and in silence is not a good option right now. But I have an old machete and my phone on me. And if anything happens, I can just hit the police button on our house alarm and they'll be here fast as can be. And set off the alarm at the same time.
We're installing a security light asap, and I am not leaving the doors wide open when I'm inside the house by myself. Or at night.
So fucking shaky. I don't think a couple of Seroquel will do the trick tonight :(