(no subject)
My dad is gonna go through surgery on thursday to cut out the baslioma (some type of skin cancer) found above his right eye. Quite a tough week with also 2 exams troubling me...
Nightmare
„This is the start of a beautiful nightmare“, he said
while my tears with his caressing fingers met
while my eyes went slowly dark
while his breath lunged upon the broken arc.
“Is this the beginning of the end?”
“Hush, my dear, the words are distant;
can’t you hear the murmuring noise?
Can’t you feel the trembling voice?”
”My skin is burned, my ears are numb...”
“I hate the one that you’ve become...”
“You cut my wings and let me fall,
you stabbed my eyes and build the wall
around my soul to kill the light,
around my heart to feel the night...”
I smell my blood upon his face,
I smell my shame and my disgrace.
I hear no laughter, hear no screams,
I don’t understand what this all means.
Once he told me about his dream,
about his beautiful nightmare scene.
He said: “Let me bend your heart and mind,
let me torture you, be so kind!
I need to hear your screams, need to see you beg
need to smell your tears, need to taste your sweat!
I will paint a picture with your blood
Stand still my dear, I need to scud!”
The first cut broke my legs, I trembled and fell,
crumbled across the floor to escape this cell
The second cut split my spine, I lost my shaking soul.
The world began to shatter, all drawn into the darkest hole.
“But please, my dear, open your eyes, open your mind!
You need to see the truth and the beauty of mankind!
Come on, my love, you are still not dead,
it’s just your body that has been wrecked!”
I took one careful breath, almost collapsed,
felt my charred body, smelt my own tears shed.
“Don’t you want to see my beautiful nightmare scene,
the piece of art I created for my dying queen?”
I lifted my head, opened my eyes
to see the worlds future in disguise.
“Pretty baby nailed to the wall,
naughty angel, you are my thrall.
See the truth behind your white skin...”
The line between love and madness is so thin.
A huge mirror, in the middle of the decaying hall
was framed with shiny gold and stood so tall.
“My love, my only, do you enjoy what you see?
I worked through night and day to set this image free,
I ruined my knife while I crushed your trunk
to form my fantasy out of your former hunk.”
Like a mordant double of myself
my skin stared at me from the distant shelf,
my second wing was replaced by a giant claw.
Finally I understood my hopeless flaw.
“You don’t seem to be impressed...”
Finally I knew he was obsessed,
taken by a lust for purity
imprisoned by the sweet obscurity.
“I will build an altar beneath your bloody feet,
then all my dreams, my hopes will be complete.”
“I’m sorry to disturb” I muttered
“It seems to me that your mind has been cluttered!
All I see is a man worth for only pity...
I spit on the portrait that you call pretty,
I scream at your nightmare, bury your dreams!”
“Hush, my dear! You bring my heart to the extremes!”
“Silence! You dare not say to have a heart!
How else could you tear your “only love” apart?”
“My heart is pure, my mind is clear!
The only reason I did this is to revere...
to show the beauty of death, the joy of pain!”
“So why are you not the one who is being slain?
Why did I have to go through your nightmare scene?
Why did I have to become the tragic queen?”
“Don’t you see my master piece?”
“I only see your insane caprice!”
“You see nothing! Only see wrong!
You can’t even hear the delicate song...”
With terror I behold the twinkling knife,
knew I would lose this fiery strife.
“I will bring you down from your throne above,
I will destroy the angel I was in awe of!”
After minutes and years of being ail,
when life and love lifted their heavy veil,
after the torture, after the fear
I felt my doubts and hatred disappear.
I felt his gentle touch on my ruined corpse
“Time itself has been warped…
You could not have been my queen,
the angel of my nightmare scene.
I loved you more than words can tell,
now I will send you into an endless hell!”
“So may it be my vicious love,
promise me to be my mourning dove,
keep the memory inside your heart.
Promise me before we part!”
“Hush my dear, the night is here,
the call of darkness is so near.
Go back to where you once were born,
go back to be my future thorn.
Close your soul and make a wish...”
I heard his last words, more like a swish:
“My dying angel, beauty of mine,
I will build for you a nameless shrine,
I will cover it with my own life
to make up for yours that I have deprived...”
Nightmare
„This is the start of a beautiful nightmare“, he said
while my tears with his caressing fingers met
while my eyes went slowly dark
while his breath lunged upon the broken arc.
“Is this the beginning of the end?”
“Hush, my dear, the words are distant;
can’t you hear the murmuring noise?
Can’t you feel the trembling voice?”
”My skin is burned, my ears are numb...”
“I hate the one that you’ve become...”
“You cut my wings and let me fall,
you stabbed my eyes and build the wall
around my soul to kill the light,
around my heart to feel the night...”
I smell my blood upon his face,
I smell my shame and my disgrace.
I hear no laughter, hear no screams,
I don’t understand what this all means.
Once he told me about his dream,
about his beautiful nightmare scene.
He said: “Let me bend your heart and mind,
let me torture you, be so kind!
I need to hear your screams, need to see you beg
need to smell your tears, need to taste your sweat!
I will paint a picture with your blood
Stand still my dear, I need to scud!”
The first cut broke my legs, I trembled and fell,
crumbled across the floor to escape this cell
The second cut split my spine, I lost my shaking soul.
The world began to shatter, all drawn into the darkest hole.
“But please, my dear, open your eyes, open your mind!
You need to see the truth and the beauty of mankind!
Come on, my love, you are still not dead,
it’s just your body that has been wrecked!”
I took one careful breath, almost collapsed,
felt my charred body, smelt my own tears shed.
“Don’t you want to see my beautiful nightmare scene,
the piece of art I created for my dying queen?”
I lifted my head, opened my eyes
to see the worlds future in disguise.
“Pretty baby nailed to the wall,
naughty angel, you are my thrall.
See the truth behind your white skin...”
The line between love and madness is so thin.
A huge mirror, in the middle of the decaying hall
was framed with shiny gold and stood so tall.
“My love, my only, do you enjoy what you see?
I worked through night and day to set this image free,
I ruined my knife while I crushed your trunk
to form my fantasy out of your former hunk.”
Like a mordant double of myself
my skin stared at me from the distant shelf,
my second wing was replaced by a giant claw.
Finally I understood my hopeless flaw.
“You don’t seem to be impressed...”
Finally I knew he was obsessed,
taken by a lust for purity
imprisoned by the sweet obscurity.
“I will build an altar beneath your bloody feet,
then all my dreams, my hopes will be complete.”
“I’m sorry to disturb” I muttered
“It seems to me that your mind has been cluttered!
All I see is a man worth for only pity...
I spit on the portrait that you call pretty,
I scream at your nightmare, bury your dreams!”
“Hush, my dear! You bring my heart to the extremes!”
“Silence! You dare not say to have a heart!
How else could you tear your “only love” apart?”
“My heart is pure, my mind is clear!
The only reason I did this is to revere...
to show the beauty of death, the joy of pain!”
“So why are you not the one who is being slain?
Why did I have to go through your nightmare scene?
Why did I have to become the tragic queen?”
“Don’t you see my master piece?”
“I only see your insane caprice!”
“You see nothing! Only see wrong!
You can’t even hear the delicate song...”
With terror I behold the twinkling knife,
knew I would lose this fiery strife.
“I will bring you down from your throne above,
I will destroy the angel I was in awe of!”
After minutes and years of being ail,
when life and love lifted their heavy veil,
after the torture, after the fear
I felt my doubts and hatred disappear.
I felt his gentle touch on my ruined corpse
“Time itself has been warped…
You could not have been my queen,
the angel of my nightmare scene.
I loved you more than words can tell,
now I will send you into an endless hell!”
“So may it be my vicious love,
promise me to be my mourning dove,
keep the memory inside your heart.
Promise me before we part!”
“Hush my dear, the night is here,
the call of darkness is so near.
Go back to where you once were born,
go back to be my future thorn.
Close your soul and make a wish...”
I heard his last words, more like a swish:
“My dying angel, beauty of mine,
I will build for you a nameless shrine,
I will cover it with my own life
to make up for yours that I have deprived...”