dude...how did i remember the password for this site?
A little up to date on my life.
I'm dating Josh, finally, and hopefully it'll stay this way longer this time since he'll be home...and not in Iraq.
I dumped my ex because he was a self absorbed asshole who cared about nothing but himself, and what he wanted to do...and never thought about what would make me happy (like being nice to me...or taking me to the movies when all I really wanted to do in life for weeks was go see The Dark Knight...but no, that's not what HE wanted to do). Why do guys always have to start out so nice and then turn into such assholes?
Sometimes I think my life would be better if I ended it now, but as usual I'm always curious to see where it will go, and it just keeps getting worse, but how long can it get worse before it gets better? One can hope.
I joined a sorority at Fredonia...and I still don't know if it's for me a year later. I met some cool people yeah, but still feel like I don't belong. I'm not close to any of them and I don't think they care about me either (well, if they read this they'd say they did, want to hang out, and then go back to ignoring me)...story of my life.
I truly believe I have no real friends other than Diana and Mary. And Mary is thrown in there b/c she's been there for years and we don't hate each other all the time. If it weren't for Mary at school...I'd be alone 24/7.
Since breaking up with Scott, I feel like I'm not wanted by that whole crowd I used to call friends...and I'm getting the shitty end of the stick here seeing as HE hurt ME, and now it's like I'm getting it even worse now b/c I've lost all my closest friends here. All I did was break up with him b/c he's a fucking asshole (which all his friends know) and now I feel like I can't go to parties where all my friends are just b/c Scott is in charge of those parties.
It seems like everything new I bring into my life, when i give it up, it seems to come around and bite me in the ass, and make my life worse than it was before. Here's a rundown of life at Fredonia:
1st night, I met people, met a boy, and still had nobody, but that boy...being like other boys, made life more complicated than it should have been. So, screw him.
I join a sorority, meet an awesome chick, she becomes my big, then she gets kicked out of school. And since she's left I've felt like the people I used to hang out with with her, don't realllly like me, they just liked Kate.
I got a boyfriend, hung out with him and his friends, became close with everyone he hangs out with. I dump him, and now I feel left out by the sorority, AND the people I thought were my friends.
So, in general...my life fucking sucks and nothing I ever do makes it any better. My life would be so much better if I had friends. But, seeing as I have no friends, I have 2 jobs and lots of classes to try to distract me from having no social life because people don't like me enough. It's like they like me, but I'm never on their top list of people to go out with, or people t invite over, or people to go eat with. I'm always on their lists, but at the bottom. STORY OF MY LIFE. My life has been this way since adolescence. Maybe this is what I get for apparently being such a shitty person.
I'm destined to be alone and miserable.
The only reason I haven't offed myself is because I keep thinking people will change, my life will change. But the bad news is, it's never fucking going to change...the only thing that's going to change is I'll graduate, not get a job, have to pay bills, and end up going bankrupt...THEN I can legitimately kill myself and nobody would care except my family.
I hate my life.
I'm dating Josh, finally, and hopefully it'll stay this way longer this time since he'll be home...and not in Iraq.
I dumped my ex because he was a self absorbed asshole who cared about nothing but himself, and what he wanted to do...and never thought about what would make me happy (like being nice to me...or taking me to the movies when all I really wanted to do in life for weeks was go see The Dark Knight...but no, that's not what HE wanted to do). Why do guys always have to start out so nice and then turn into such assholes?
Sometimes I think my life would be better if I ended it now, but as usual I'm always curious to see where it will go, and it just keeps getting worse, but how long can it get worse before it gets better? One can hope.
I joined a sorority at Fredonia...and I still don't know if it's for me a year later. I met some cool people yeah, but still feel like I don't belong. I'm not close to any of them and I don't think they care about me either (well, if they read this they'd say they did, want to hang out, and then go back to ignoring me)...story of my life.
I truly believe I have no real friends other than Diana and Mary. And Mary is thrown in there b/c she's been there for years and we don't hate each other all the time. If it weren't for Mary at school...I'd be alone 24/7.
Since breaking up with Scott, I feel like I'm not wanted by that whole crowd I used to call friends...and I'm getting the shitty end of the stick here seeing as HE hurt ME, and now it's like I'm getting it even worse now b/c I've lost all my closest friends here. All I did was break up with him b/c he's a fucking asshole (which all his friends know) and now I feel like I can't go to parties where all my friends are just b/c Scott is in charge of those parties.
It seems like everything new I bring into my life, when i give it up, it seems to come around and bite me in the ass, and make my life worse than it was before. Here's a rundown of life at Fredonia:
1st night, I met people, met a boy, and still had nobody, but that boy...being like other boys, made life more complicated than it should have been. So, screw him.
I join a sorority, meet an awesome chick, she becomes my big, then she gets kicked out of school. And since she's left I've felt like the people I used to hang out with with her, don't realllly like me, they just liked Kate.
I got a boyfriend, hung out with him and his friends, became close with everyone he hangs out with. I dump him, and now I feel left out by the sorority, AND the people I thought were my friends.
So, in general...my life fucking sucks and nothing I ever do makes it any better. My life would be so much better if I had friends. But, seeing as I have no friends, I have 2 jobs and lots of classes to try to distract me from having no social life because people don't like me enough. It's like they like me, but I'm never on their top list of people to go out with, or people t invite over, or people to go eat with. I'm always on their lists, but at the bottom. STORY OF MY LIFE. My life has been this way since adolescence. Maybe this is what I get for apparently being such a shitty person.
I'm destined to be alone and miserable.
The only reason I haven't offed myself is because I keep thinking people will change, my life will change. But the bad news is, it's never fucking going to change...the only thing that's going to change is I'll graduate, not get a job, have to pay bills, and end up going bankrupt...THEN I can legitimately kill myself and nobody would care except my family.
I hate my life.