The following entry is disjointed.
It's pretty hard to work at a place like Wal-Mart and not begin losing faith in humanity. The amount of stupidity I face on a daily basis is absolutely staggering and I think it's really starting to take a toll on my psyche. I guess I could regale you guys with wacky anecdotes about the kind of customers I deal with, but it's honestly just too depressing for me to even relive.
It occurs to me that I can't make up my mind about anything and I'm pretty much always ambivalent. Never decisive. For example, I'm a narcissist filled with self-loathing. I simultaneously think I am better than most other people and that I completely lack the common sense of the average person. Do women find me attractive or am I basically just a joke to them? I am unsure. This has become more important to me lately for a few reasons. I would like to be in a relationship but I realize I would just be trading my misery for a different kind of misery, one that is not really any better or worse.
At least it would be a change of pace, I guess. I get antsy when I don't have my alone time, though. Although I guess in the ideal situation with the Right Girl (TM), my alone time would no longer be as important because I would rather just spend the time with her. But then there's the issue of independence and how important that would be for both parties and blah blah bluh.
There are too many thoughts in my head and none of them make any sense. They also all contradict each other. I'm beginning to suspect I have some sort of psychological condition. However, I am not a doctor.
I'm kinda going nuts. I need someone to talk to. Someone who will really listen.
It occurs to me that I can't make up my mind about anything and I'm pretty much always ambivalent. Never decisive. For example, I'm a narcissist filled with self-loathing. I simultaneously think I am better than most other people and that I completely lack the common sense of the average person. Do women find me attractive or am I basically just a joke to them? I am unsure. This has become more important to me lately for a few reasons. I would like to be in a relationship but I realize I would just be trading my misery for a different kind of misery, one that is not really any better or worse.
At least it would be a change of pace, I guess. I get antsy when I don't have my alone time, though. Although I guess in the ideal situation with the Right Girl (TM), my alone time would no longer be as important because I would rather just spend the time with her. But then there's the issue of independence and how important that would be for both parties and blah blah bluh.
There are too many thoughts in my head and none of them make any sense. They also all contradict each other. I'm beginning to suspect I have some sort of psychological condition. However, I am not a doctor.
I'm kinda going nuts. I need someone to talk to. Someone who will really listen.