You'd Think I'd Learn After Twenty Years...
You'd think I'd learn after twenty years what time of the month I get my period. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years not to argue with my mother. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years how to balance my checkbook with someone's help. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years to wash the make-up off my face before bed. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years not to eat my room mate's food. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years that I shouldn't overanalyze boys. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years that I should not overanalyze life so much. You think I'd learn after twenty years how to make my feet smell better. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years that 8+6=14 without counting on my fingers. You'd think I'd learn how to give correct change at the box office without sneaking the computer calculator for help. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years how to fully cook meat without making my family sick. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years that touching my eyebrows only makes the hairs curly and they stick out more. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years to cut my toenails when they curl over. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years not to act out on every impulse. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years that smiling can't save me in every situation. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years not to scratch my crotch, butt, and breasts in public. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years to appreciate my parents more. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years that I don't need a boyfriend. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years that procrastination's a bitch. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years to quit obsessing over everything. You'd think I'd learn after twenty years that I'm only twenty, and still have so much more to learn. Off to the 70s British Dance Party upstairs. Adios.