The Celtics...
In the middle of the movie "Caddyshack", a bishop is playing golf in a thunderstorm. The reason he is playing is that "the good Lord would not distrup the best golf day of my life." Well, after he missed a putt on the 9th hole, he raised his putter over his head and yelled "Nooooooooooooooo!" Sure enough, a lighting bolt hit the putter, which sent the electrity down to the bishop, causing him to collapse.
Later in the movie, the same bishop with a Grizzly Adams look, is downing Roy Rogers at a John Belschi-pace, while saying "You never ask a Navy man if he'll have another drink, because it's nobody's goddamned business how much he's had already", "Excellency, fiddlesticks, my name's Fred and I'm a man, same as you" and lastly "THERE IS NO GOD..."
Well you know what, I feel the exact same way right now, after the Celtics got the FIFTH FUCKING PICK for the NBA lottery. First, Red dies, we drop the ball in getting Allen Iverson or Kevin Garrett, they finish with the second-worst record in the league and then Doc Rivers, one of the worst coaches in the NBA gets a FUCKING contract extenstion. You would think that the good Lord would see this and give the Celtics some frickin' slack, WRONG!!!
Once the Celtics were called at number 5, I literally fell off my seat (I was sitting on the coach and fell forward). For the upcoming draft, I hope Ainge and co. will be smart enough to take one of the Flordia players, but c'mon that is not happening because THEY ARE THE FUCKING CELTICS.
This quote from the movie Fever Pitch (the British one) sums up the state of the Celtics: "They were fucking rubbish last year. And they were fucking rubbish the year before. And I don't care if they are top of the League, they'll be fucking rubbish this year, too. And next year. And the year after that. I'm not joking."
It's probably a good thing I don't drink because if I did, I would be getting so shitfaced that Roise O'Donnell would give me a hard-on.