I Taste Smoke.
And now 15 thoughts from my day:
-The only reason I sleep all day, is because there is nothing to get up and do.
-I need a job, but am too intimidated by jobhunting to overcome my procrastinatory habits and look for one.
-I still want to make beautiful music, and refuse to believe I have already exerted all my talent, I just need a catalyst or something in my life, to get me on my way to the next big thing.
-I wish I hadn't missed the show tonight.
-I think the idea of having a girlfriend again someday is novel, if that day was soon, that'd be even more novel.
-I haven't fullheartedly cared about anyone in 4 years... don't be offended by that.
-I think maybe it's this place that brings me down.
-I would love it if someone would burn me some new cd's... thing included that I know I want: Neutral Milk Hotel, The Decemberist, Modest Mouse, Clinic.
-I need someone with an ebay account and digital camera to help me sell things.. so I can buy other things.
-I 'do' miss my friends, I just can't afford to drive to see them right now.
-I think I completely forgot about my writing.
-I realize now that I've become more reckless in the way I live, I admit it can be exhilirating for me, I've become bored with the way things have been... and recently when I was lying in bed after a night of being drunk.. or smoking a cigarette as I do every week or so, I think oh how things have changed. And I don't want to hear your criticisms.
-The more and more I look at things, the stories I hear, the things I witness. I become more discontent with humanity. I wonder when things got this fucked up. I try to imagine how they weren't always ilke this.. It's hard, and I'm cynical. But I have reason to be.
-Which brings me to the thought: I am frustrated with kids who haven't had it as hard as I have. I think some people think I've lived a spoiled life, and I was for a while, but if you take that viewpoint, you know nothing about me... and I feel unapologetic saying so. I feel frustrated with kids who are on a free ride in college, eating out everyday, not paying for their own car, and act as if they deserve it. I also think that some people who I know who've lived sheltered lives lack a certain ammount of emotional depth because of it.. I figure it must be nice to exist with that percent of naivety, cause I remember it being nice.
These probably being the same people I can't see eye to eye artisticly with, because they just want to have fun, and instead trying to patch up wounds. It's not that neither of us have the wrong intention, they just don't work congruently I've found.
-I know that to make most the changes that need to be made will require to things.. oppurtunity, and a leap of faith on my part. I must remember to remind myself constantly to take chances, because there is always less to lose and more to be gained.
That turned out longer than I thought it would, and I'd like to apologize now if I came off a little bitter. But... I am. The End
-The only reason I sleep all day, is because there is nothing to get up and do.
-I need a job, but am too intimidated by jobhunting to overcome my procrastinatory habits and look for one.
-I still want to make beautiful music, and refuse to believe I have already exerted all my talent, I just need a catalyst or something in my life, to get me on my way to the next big thing.
-I wish I hadn't missed the show tonight.
-I think the idea of having a girlfriend again someday is novel, if that day was soon, that'd be even more novel.
-I haven't fullheartedly cared about anyone in 4 years... don't be offended by that.
-I think maybe it's this place that brings me down.
-I would love it if someone would burn me some new cd's... thing included that I know I want: Neutral Milk Hotel, The Decemberist, Modest Mouse, Clinic.
-I need someone with an ebay account and digital camera to help me sell things.. so I can buy other things.
-I 'do' miss my friends, I just can't afford to drive to see them right now.
-I think I completely forgot about my writing.
-I realize now that I've become more reckless in the way I live, I admit it can be exhilirating for me, I've become bored with the way things have been... and recently when I was lying in bed after a night of being drunk.. or smoking a cigarette as I do every week or so, I think oh how things have changed. And I don't want to hear your criticisms.
-The more and more I look at things, the stories I hear, the things I witness. I become more discontent with humanity. I wonder when things got this fucked up. I try to imagine how they weren't always ilke this.. It's hard, and I'm cynical. But I have reason to be.
-Which brings me to the thought: I am frustrated with kids who haven't had it as hard as I have. I think some people think I've lived a spoiled life, and I was for a while, but if you take that viewpoint, you know nothing about me... and I feel unapologetic saying so. I feel frustrated with kids who are on a free ride in college, eating out everyday, not paying for their own car, and act as if they deserve it. I also think that some people who I know who've lived sheltered lives lack a certain ammount of emotional depth because of it.. I figure it must be nice to exist with that percent of naivety, cause I remember it being nice.
These probably being the same people I can't see eye to eye artisticly with, because they just want to have fun, and instead trying to patch up wounds. It's not that neither of us have the wrong intention, they just don't work congruently I've found.
-I know that to make most the changes that need to be made will require to things.. oppurtunity, and a leap of faith on my part. I must remember to remind myself constantly to take chances, because there is always less to lose and more to be gained.
That turned out longer than I thought it would, and I'd like to apologize now if I came off a little bitter. But... I am. The End