18 hours and endless dreams.
I slept 18 hours last night, and had a plethora of dreams. From dreaming about people doing a drive by on my apartment, to hiding in my house from zombies with a cute possessed girl, to going to a local coffee shop and arguing with them for a job.. and then a few more yes... I woke up around 4 today.. still tired though...
I suppose I have to admit I feel depressed, sorta de-motivated about things, and while I know all the things I could be doing.. Something stops me from doing them.. A friend of mine is driving around the country living, she tells me stories about it.. and I tell her I wish I could do what she's doing.. You're prolly reading this, if you are.. you should come this way, and take me with you..
I read through old poems, and cleaned out my mailbox tonight.. which reminded me that I had discarded my poetry project.. I was suppose to send all my work to people.. have them read it.. give me opinions on the best of the lot.. I still have emails from all you who wanted to.. I guess it just has to do with the fact that I never could format a good .txt file to print for you. I suppose I could try again, if you wanted to read it on your computer.
A friend of mine and I are going to try to start a music project.. I really hope something comes out of it.. somethings, anything needs to happen lately to make me feel as though.. I'm living..
I found a picture on a site of me playing piano.. I wish I was right this moment.. It's been month's since I last played.. It's always months between when I play now.. I've lost my edge on creation.. I used to have a piano just rooms away for more than half my life.. and in the last year when I haven't.. nothing feels right.. it feels wrong to not be able to walk down a hall and play.. That used to save my sanity... It's not possible now...
And this becomes a rather legnthy post as I sorta just babble on about the things I feel.. Though even now I suppose I've ran out of much to say.. But if you asked me what I wanted today.. I'd say.. I want the next 2 days to be good.. and then I want to cash my check.. I want my friend to come, and I want to go and just drive with her.. for a week.. or 2... and then come back.. find a new job.. work out band details.. and get somewhere..
Dreams are so whimsicial.. don't you think?
I suppose I have to admit I feel depressed, sorta de-motivated about things, and while I know all the things I could be doing.. Something stops me from doing them.. A friend of mine is driving around the country living, she tells me stories about it.. and I tell her I wish I could do what she's doing.. You're prolly reading this, if you are.. you should come this way, and take me with you..
I read through old poems, and cleaned out my mailbox tonight.. which reminded me that I had discarded my poetry project.. I was suppose to send all my work to people.. have them read it.. give me opinions on the best of the lot.. I still have emails from all you who wanted to.. I guess it just has to do with the fact that I never could format a good .txt file to print for you. I suppose I could try again, if you wanted to read it on your computer.
A friend of mine and I are going to try to start a music project.. I really hope something comes out of it.. somethings, anything needs to happen lately to make me feel as though.. I'm living..
I found a picture on a site of me playing piano.. I wish I was right this moment.. It's been month's since I last played.. It's always months between when I play now.. I've lost my edge on creation.. I used to have a piano just rooms away for more than half my life.. and in the last year when I haven't.. nothing feels right.. it feels wrong to not be able to walk down a hall and play.. That used to save my sanity... It's not possible now...
And this becomes a rather legnthy post as I sorta just babble on about the things I feel.. Though even now I suppose I've ran out of much to say.. But if you asked me what I wanted today.. I'd say.. I want the next 2 days to be good.. and then I want to cash my check.. I want my friend to come, and I want to go and just drive with her.. for a week.. or 2... and then come back.. find a new job.. work out band details.. and get somewhere..
Dreams are so whimsicial.. don't you think?