Feeling a bit better now.
During the christmas break I visted my Dad in Lillte Rock. Best 2 weeks of my life becasue not only is he a recovering alcholic, but a paster at a church now. Finally got a father now. Seriously he changed and after spending that break with him he gave me some heartfelt advice about life. He admited that he regreted not being there for me mostly. I mean divorce sucks, but he's happy with my stepmom who I love a lot. His change encouraged me to change a bit too. He gave me some life lessons and he found my root of my depression: Im shelterd. Seriously my mom sheltered me too damn much. As a child we never did anything harldy. He found out I never weas brave enough to ride a bike or could'nt roller skate. He was shocked. He said I don;t take risk and he notice I was afraid to ventrue out. He was soo right. So when I left to go back home I felt knida crummy and I did'nt want to leave. I realize that I can change my life and that I have that power to do so.