Fic: In Which Dongho Steals Ren's Bangs and Hat
A/N: This crack fic was inspired by a comment on the Stop Girl MV that said that Dongho stole Ren's hat.
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Dongho wanted cool hair like his super fashionable G-Dragon hyung in the Fantastic Baby MV for the Stop Girl MV and promotions, but he knew that he couldn't pull off his hyung's look because it wouldn't look good on him and would be weird. Plus, GD hyung's side bangs were too long. He really wanted to look as cool as his GD hyung. So what was a guy like him to do? Ah! Dongho remembered that Ren from the nugu group NU'EST had long but not too long side bangs. It was perfect! He could steal Ren's bangs. But how? He thought about it for a day, and then had the perfect idea.
One day, Dongho saw that NU'EST was super tired after filming a TV show all day so they shouldn't wake up while he snuck into their dorm, a pair of scissors and zip lock bag in hand. He went into Ren's room and cut off his bangs and put them in the bag. Next he went to a convenience store and bought dark DIY hair dye before going home because he knew blond bangs weren't for him. (His G-Dragon hyung would never do something that would look bad, so of course Dongho wouldn't either. He also knew that dying the hair would make it less likely for him to get caught with Ren's bangs.)
Dongho knit a small strip of yarn the same color as the dyed hair to hold it together nicely and went to the salon the next day. He had his hair dresser noona sew the bangs into his natural hair, but he noticed something didn't look right. The knitted strip was just too visible. What would his GD hyung do? Ah! He would wear a hat to cover it up! Where could he get a stylish hat that would match his super cool new bangs and wouldn't cost too much? (Dongho was on a budget after all.) Wait a gosh darn minute... Didn't he see a hat that reminded him of a hat T.O.P. wore in the Fantastic Baby MV in Ren's room? He did! That night Dongho snuck back into NU'EST's dorm and stole Ren's hat.
The other U-Kiss members never questioned Dongho's new found love of G-Dragon hyung, fashion or his new wonderfully glorious bangs. They knew their youngest missed out on a lot of things because he debuted at such a young age, so they indulged him a lot. Though Kevin was a little worried about his baby Dongho. Didn't those bangs look awfully familiar to anyone else? He could have sworn he saw someone else wearing them not to long ago. Leader Soohyun wasn't worried about the baby's bangs, so eventually Kevin realized he shouldn't be worried about them either. It's not like people could steal bangs, right?
And what did Ren think about this? Well when he woke up after having his hair chopped off, he staggered into the bathroom half asleep at 5:30 AM to get ready for the day's schedules. He caught a glimpse of his hair as he walked past the mirror and thought something looked different, but being half asleep as he was, he didn't think much of it. Neither did his bandmates as Ren sat down for breakfast. It was only after they all had their triple shots of espresso on their way to the salon, did Baekho happen to be looking to his left to stare out the window and notice Ren. There was something...different about the effeminate male.
Baekho asked Ren if okay. Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I don't know. You look different. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I LOOK DIFFERENT! IS IT MY HAIR? IT BETTER NOT BE MY HAIR! SOMEONE, ANYONE, GET ME A MIRROR STAT! The rest of NU'EST was having trouble finding one and were in panic mode. Where is our emergency stash of mirrors! yelled JR. Oh! I think we moved them to the back. Aron said in a panic-y voice. I NEED A MIRROR. WHERE IS A MIRROR! PABOS ALL OF YOU! OMO OMO OMO! Minhyun, climb over the back seat! said Aron with a tremble in his voice. We've got to find a mirror! said Baekho. I FOUND ONE! I FOUND ONE! hollered Minhyun. Thank Shusus and Jaysus said JR. GIVE ME! GIVE ME! GIVE ME!.
Ren was making grabby hands at Minhyun. Here! Take it! said the finder of the ever precious mirror. It was past over to Ren. OMONA! OMONA! OMONA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY HAIR HAS BEEN MURDERED! He kept touching where his bangs should be. NO, NO, NO. THEY'RE GONE. THEY'RE NOT GONE. NOT GONE NOT GONE. What do we do whispered Aron to his saner bandmates. Ren started sobbing uncontrollably. We give him all the things that he loves? asked JR.
Ren got lots of nail art done and lots of pretty hairstyles, clothes and makeup from that day on. It wasn't until two months later, on September 20th, that NU'EST saw U-Kiss's Stop Girl MV. Ren immediately knew Dongho had his hair and his hat, which in all the upset over his hair, Ren didn't even realize had gone missing. His precious hair was even dyed! The injustice of it all! He. Would. Get. It. Dyed. Back. Ren started planning his revenge on Dongho the moment the MV ended. (It was so great to see the his hair murderer have so few line and such little screen time.) It was revenge that Dongho would never be able to pin on Ren or NU'EST. Ren found that so gratifying that he developed the most evil sinister laugh that he laughed whenever he thought of the little snot called Dongho or the forever nugu group U-Kiss.
~*~*~*~*~
Dongho wanted cool hair like his super fashionable G-Dragon hyung in the Fantastic Baby MV for the Stop Girl MV and promotions, but he knew that he couldn't pull off his hyung's look because it wouldn't look good on him and would be weird. Plus, GD hyung's side bangs were too long. He really wanted to look as cool as his GD hyung. So what was a guy like him to do? Ah! Dongho remembered that Ren from the nugu group NU'EST had long but not too long side bangs. It was perfect! He could steal Ren's bangs. But how? He thought about it for a day, and then had the perfect idea.
One day, Dongho saw that NU'EST was super tired after filming a TV show all day so they shouldn't wake up while he snuck into their dorm, a pair of scissors and zip lock bag in hand. He went into Ren's room and cut off his bangs and put them in the bag. Next he went to a convenience store and bought dark DIY hair dye before going home because he knew blond bangs weren't for him. (His G-Dragon hyung would never do something that would look bad, so of course Dongho wouldn't either. He also knew that dying the hair would make it less likely for him to get caught with Ren's bangs.)
Dongho knit a small strip of yarn the same color as the dyed hair to hold it together nicely and went to the salon the next day. He had his hair dresser noona sew the bangs into his natural hair, but he noticed something didn't look right. The knitted strip was just too visible. What would his GD hyung do? Ah! He would wear a hat to cover it up! Where could he get a stylish hat that would match his super cool new bangs and wouldn't cost too much? (Dongho was on a budget after all.) Wait a gosh darn minute... Didn't he see a hat that reminded him of a hat T.O.P. wore in the Fantastic Baby MV in Ren's room? He did! That night Dongho snuck back into NU'EST's dorm and stole Ren's hat.
The other U-Kiss members never questioned Dongho's new found love of G-Dragon hyung, fashion or his new wonderfully glorious bangs. They knew their youngest missed out on a lot of things because he debuted at such a young age, so they indulged him a lot. Though Kevin was a little worried about his baby Dongho. Didn't those bangs look awfully familiar to anyone else? He could have sworn he saw someone else wearing them not to long ago. Leader Soohyun wasn't worried about the baby's bangs, so eventually Kevin realized he shouldn't be worried about them either. It's not like people could steal bangs, right?
And what did Ren think about this? Well when he woke up after having his hair chopped off, he staggered into the bathroom half asleep at 5:30 AM to get ready for the day's schedules. He caught a glimpse of his hair as he walked past the mirror and thought something looked different, but being half asleep as he was, he didn't think much of it. Neither did his bandmates as Ren sat down for breakfast. It was only after they all had their triple shots of espresso on their way to the salon, did Baekho happen to be looking to his left to stare out the window and notice Ren. There was something...different about the effeminate male.
Baekho asked Ren if okay. Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I don't know. You look different. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I LOOK DIFFERENT! IS IT MY HAIR? IT BETTER NOT BE MY HAIR! SOMEONE, ANYONE, GET ME A MIRROR STAT! The rest of NU'EST was having trouble finding one and were in panic mode. Where is our emergency stash of mirrors! yelled JR. Oh! I think we moved them to the back. Aron said in a panic-y voice. I NEED A MIRROR. WHERE IS A MIRROR! PABOS ALL OF YOU! OMO OMO OMO! Minhyun, climb over the back seat! said Aron with a tremble in his voice. We've got to find a mirror! said Baekho. I FOUND ONE! I FOUND ONE! hollered Minhyun. Thank Shusus and Jaysus said JR. GIVE ME! GIVE ME! GIVE ME!.
Ren was making grabby hands at Minhyun. Here! Take it! said the finder of the ever precious mirror. It was past over to Ren. OMONA! OMONA! OMONA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY HAIR HAS BEEN MURDERED! He kept touching where his bangs should be. NO, NO, NO. THEY'RE GONE. THEY'RE NOT GONE. NOT GONE NOT GONE. What do we do whispered Aron to his saner bandmates. Ren started sobbing uncontrollably. We give him all the things that he loves? asked JR.
Ren got lots of nail art done and lots of pretty hairstyles, clothes and makeup from that day on. It wasn't until two months later, on September 20th, that NU'EST saw U-Kiss's Stop Girl MV. Ren immediately knew Dongho had his hair and his hat, which in all the upset over his hair, Ren didn't even realize had gone missing. His precious hair was even dyed! The injustice of it all! He. Would. Get. It. Dyed. Back. Ren started planning his revenge on Dongho the moment the MV ended. (It was so great to see the his hair murderer have so few line and such little screen time.) It was revenge that Dongho would never be able to pin on Ren or NU'EST. Ren found that so gratifying that he developed the most evil sinister laugh that he laughed whenever he thought of the little snot called Dongho or the forever nugu group U-Kiss.