My dream
I had a dream that I was living downtown. I lived in a very small room that was right against another building. The building had two men move in that i could see and I contemplated trying to seduce them over. Part of my dream as well was that I was at my grandmother's old house and the reception/reunion was going on. Everyone was tearing at me and kept pushing aside. Finally, after playing with some kids and getting shit for it, I told Donna to fuck off and stop picking at her. I told her to stop trying to control everyone and that I am not going to take anymore of her shit! I proceeded to walk away. I decided to go for a walk after this and walked around what looked like ulliminaries (in people not laterns) around the sea wall but it was more like a lake. My father came for part of the walk and at one point me Jackie and Alice went into a dollar store to look for, damn it I forget, and Jackie said hi to the cashier as I thought to myself that she knew everyone in Richmond. When I got home I went into my room which turned into that tiny apartment and found more family coming in so I went for another walk but this time in lingerie. I walked to a gym/mall following other women in their underwear or lingerie. They were all meeting for a workout class and all layed on matts where they lay on their backs dong crunches and arm circles chanting, "I am attractive, I am beautiful" etc. etc. I watched for a little while and decided this wasn't for me and continued to explore the store or what was not being used of the store by the lingerie ladies. I was being accompanied by a small woman/child who was curious of my curiousity. I found a stair case and went up it. It turned into a slanted yellow slippery stair case where the child/woman turned back but I was determined to figure out who I saw the shadow of at the top. I climbed them and when I got to the top I found an apartment and Martin (a composer guy that I met before I left for Calgary) sitting on a couch dressed like a bumb surrounded by magazines and the odd record. He didn't remember me so I had to explain to him who I was again and then he remembered but I was hurt that he didn't remember my face. I tried to hide my lingerie and was very embarrased of it which increased when a ton of people started pouring in. It became a party and everyone was sitting in a loose circle and was I but I was somewhat cut off becuase I was trying so hard to hid my lingerie. Jack arrived and I again had to explain and focus his memory of me from the party. I eventually walked home but then was back there again but in a kitchen. Martin was sitting on a window sile and we were all talking about bf/gf's. I described Jordan and how I should have never dated him. I didn't say that I was looking for another bf but just reveled in the regret of dating someone so wrong for me. When I got home I was standing in my grandmother's farm house when the phone rang. It was a boy named Ryan who I had met at the apartment earlier inviting me to come back because he had found someone who was perfect for me. This of course was after I had found out that I was suppose to drive in my convertible car to kelowna to pick up supplies for the family . I didn't want to go and insisted I didn't but more family kept showing up and we needed supplies... but the family was actually old mainstagers. Anyway I could hear becuase everyone was being sooo loud and it echoed everywhere. I went to use the phone, now in the studie infront of the computer at my fathers house, and found that beside it on the ground was a slightly used condom beside a wrapper. I woke up after this. weird. weird. weird. ....I really wonder what it all means.