Entry: The Twenty-Ninth-- Utterly Ridiculous
Just a compilation of random, ridiculous moments that have happened since my arrival back at Swat twelve days ago. Presented in chronological order. The title pretty much does say it all.
* Scene: Boxes are being unloaded from secure storage
Me: I think I’m going to head back to PPR now. Is there anything light I can grab to carry back with me?
Person Twice My Size: (picking up a box) This one’s seems doesn't seem heavy...to me
Me: (grabbing the box) Oh, yeah, it doesn’t seem too bad. I think I can take it.
Owner of Box: Are you sure it’s all right? You don’t have to carry it.
Me: No, it’s no problem, really. I can handle it.
Ten minutes later, having paused a couple times to recover my waning strength, I arrive at PPR, exhausted and drenched in sweat. After making my drop-off, I take a shower to cleanse my tired body, and discover I can barely lift the soap. In fact, moving my arms the slightest bit upwards is nigh impossible. The rest of the night is exceedingly awkward, as I struggle to perform simple tasks like serving myself food and brushing my teeth. I don’t know exactly what happened, except that my elbow-pits remained yellow, tender, and bruised for over a week afterward. All because I felt compelled to show the pretty girl that I could carry a big, heavy object just as well as the guy twice my size could. Even though I obviously couldn’t. Still, since I did demonstrate what a strong, manly, macho man I was, I guess it was worth it, right?
*I was so excited about the spiffy new color-coded folders I bought for the fourth day of classes, I forgot to put blank paper in them before taking them to class. I had to take notes on the back of syllabi and handouts that day.
Then for my afternoon class, I remembered paper for the relevant folder. Of course, I forgot to bring a pencil with me. I took no notes at all for that class.
*One afternoon, I accidentally took a nap-that-wasn’t-supposed-to-be-a-nap and woke up at 2:37 for a 2:40 class. Frantically rushing about, hither and thither, I managed to grab my backpack and the following essential items for it: the previous day’s sports section, a blank WSRN application form, and my Phonetics textbook. Then I rushed out the door, having failed to grab any folder or book relevant to the class I was actually late to (Greek Tragedy). I took no notes that day either.
* Last night I promised myself I would study Econ. I got as far as five pages in my textbook before encountering this passage: “The novelist John Steinbeck once noted, ‘When people are broke, the first thing they give up are books.’ In effect, Steinbeck’s observation describes the outcome of a comparative statics exercise in which income (rather than price) is the variable. To see how changes in income affect the consumer’s equilibrium, consider Roth, who consumes books and grapes. In Figure 3.8, the grapes of Roth are measured on the vertical axis…” The grapes of Roth? Come on! How can one take Econ seriously after reading stuff like this? That was the end of my attempt to do Econ.
* This morning, my hair was a mess, but Greg was taking a shower and I was already late for breakfast. So I attempted to brush my hair with a ruler. It turns out, hair does not brush well with a ruler. And I was late to breakfast.
I’ll leave the list at that for now. Consider it extremely abridged. And if anyone ever asks, none of this ever happened.
* Scene: Boxes are being unloaded from secure storage
Me: I think I’m going to head back to PPR now. Is there anything light I can grab to carry back with me?
Person Twice My Size: (picking up a box) This one’s seems doesn't seem heavy...to me
Me: (grabbing the box) Oh, yeah, it doesn’t seem too bad. I think I can take it.
Owner of Box: Are you sure it’s all right? You don’t have to carry it.
Me: No, it’s no problem, really. I can handle it.
Ten minutes later, having paused a couple times to recover my waning strength, I arrive at PPR, exhausted and drenched in sweat. After making my drop-off, I take a shower to cleanse my tired body, and discover I can barely lift the soap. In fact, moving my arms the slightest bit upwards is nigh impossible. The rest of the night is exceedingly awkward, as I struggle to perform simple tasks like serving myself food and brushing my teeth. I don’t know exactly what happened, except that my elbow-pits remained yellow, tender, and bruised for over a week afterward. All because I felt compelled to show the pretty girl that I could carry a big, heavy object just as well as the guy twice my size could. Even though I obviously couldn’t. Still, since I did demonstrate what a strong, manly, macho man I was, I guess it was worth it, right?
*I was so excited about the spiffy new color-coded folders I bought for the fourth day of classes, I forgot to put blank paper in them before taking them to class. I had to take notes on the back of syllabi and handouts that day.
Then for my afternoon class, I remembered paper for the relevant folder. Of course, I forgot to bring a pencil with me. I took no notes at all for that class.
*One afternoon, I accidentally took a nap-that-wasn’t-supposed-to-be-a-nap and woke up at 2:37 for a 2:40 class. Frantically rushing about, hither and thither, I managed to grab my backpack and the following essential items for it: the previous day’s sports section, a blank WSRN application form, and my Phonetics textbook. Then I rushed out the door, having failed to grab any folder or book relevant to the class I was actually late to (Greek Tragedy). I took no notes that day either.
* Last night I promised myself I would study Econ. I got as far as five pages in my textbook before encountering this passage: “The novelist John Steinbeck once noted, ‘When people are broke, the first thing they give up are books.’ In effect, Steinbeck’s observation describes the outcome of a comparative statics exercise in which income (rather than price) is the variable. To see how changes in income affect the consumer’s equilibrium, consider Roth, who consumes books and grapes. In Figure 3.8, the grapes of Roth are measured on the vertical axis…” The grapes of Roth? Come on! How can one take Econ seriously after reading stuff like this? That was the end of my attempt to do Econ.
* This morning, my hair was a mess, but Greg was taking a shower and I was already late for breakfast. So I attempted to brush my hair with a ruler. It turns out, hair does not brush well with a ruler. And I was late to breakfast.
I’ll leave the list at that for now. Consider it extremely abridged. And if anyone ever asks, none of this ever happened.