Entry: The Twenty-Seventh-- The Back-to-School Shopping Spectacular!
Clarifying background information: I've spent this week in Rehoboth Beach, DE, home to a beach, a boardwalk, dozens of overzealously ticketing police officers, and many, many outlet malls. And other stuff, too, that isn’t immediately relevant to this specific LJ entry. But that's generally where I've been.
THE ODD:
Went to this crazy sock outlet store in an attempt to replace all my pairs of plain, holey white socks with pairs of plain holeless white socks. Instead found gems as “The World’s Softest Sock” (“Like Walking On Clouds!” claimed the package), “Extra Low-Cut Socks” (“Perfect for the No-Sock Look!) and Golden Toe Socks (“Great for Hiding Those Times When You Aim Short of the Toilet!*). Other socks insisted on flashing obtrusive logos, from Hanes to Champion to Jockey. There was not a single plain, normal white sock to be found, not even on the severed-foot mannequins that mingled among the displays. Never before had I considered myself to have such particular, demanding taste in clothing, especially socks, but this ordeal chastened me, and the future I will make sure to acknowledge my status as a plain white sock elitist.
THE BORING:
Went to a less-than-crazy jeans outlet in an attempt to replace my pairs of plain, holey blue jeans with plain, holeless blue jeans. Had to wait in a long dressing room line to try on the five different style-size-brand combinations I pulled off the rack, since the queen lady in charge of the dressing rooms had caved and allowed several impatient women to use the men’s side. After a long process of trying on jeans, taking off jeans, retrying on jeans, and attempting to perform pseudo-kung fu like motions in an approximately 3x3 dressing room, I gave up and declared the Lee 30 x 30 Relaxed Fit jeans the winner. I purchased a pair in light blue, a pair in medium blue, and a pair in dark blue. With any luck, this bold move will add some much-needed variety to my otherwise tepid fall wardrobe.
THE SAD:
Went to several different shoe outlets, running the gamut in craziness from “mildly crazy” to “moderately crazy,” in attempt to replace my dirty, grungy, holey (yet still lovable) Nikes with a pair of white, clean, holeless, and equally lovable Nikes. Failed. Had to settle instead for a pair of New Balances that, despite being relatively while, clean, and holeness, seem to lack the charm, personality, and indomitable “Just Do It!” spirit that my old Nikes had. I am sure that given time I will learn to love and cherish my new sneakers, since I will be wearing them every day for the next ten months, at least, but the interim will be tough. It always a somewhat difficult and melancholy process for me, buying new shoes is.
THE FUN AND EXCITING:
Went to this great game store in downtown Rehoboth Beach to shop for additions to the soon-to-be-created Palmer 101 Closet o’ Games Galore**. Discovered this very interesting card game called Killer Bunnies and the Quest for the Magic Carrot, which I had to buy, for obvious reasons. I’m doubt the actual gameplay can possibly live up to my inflated expectations, but I had to find out. Also picked up a second game called “Curses,” which seems like it ought to provide at least one study break’s worth of entertainment, if not more. Successfully resisted purchasing up of the multiple Apples to Apples expansion that were in stock, figuring I ought to expand my horizons a little, rather than continue to rely on the same single game for amusement. Not that it won’t still be making the trip back with me to Swarthmore, of course.
THE SCARY:
Of course, the scariest part of the whole back-to-school-shopping ordeal (if one takes this term loosely, as I am about to) won’t happen till next week, when I’ll be forced to “shop” through the Swarthmore course catalog and make “non-refundable purchases” of classes. Latest thoughts on the matter: Intro to Film and Media Studies sounds like fun, doesn’t it? Watching TV and movies and stuff, and learning how they work? But is it worth putting off Semantics, which I also really, really want to take? What about Intro to Music? Where does “irony value” fall on the list of good reasons to take a class? Why don’t any of the Classics courses sound appealing, especially the misleadingly titled one that I’m already signed up for? Help! At least my freshman year scheduling seems to have been vindicated by the change in graduation requirements; who knew that if you put of taking Natural Sciences PDC’s for as long as possible, they really would just go away?
One final bonus note, speaking of me planning out my life for next year: I’ve mentioned this before, but I maybe want my own radio show. My latest and greatest idea features me, an as-yet-undetermined co-host, and a rotating panel of experts*** spending an hour each week discussing simple or ridiculous topics in an overly intellectual and pretentious manner. We read a children’s book (e.g. Curious George or Green Eggs and Ham) and launch into a complex literary analysis of it, such as the sort one might find in a college-level English course. We’d buy tabloids, and discuss the headline stories in a completely serious, analytical manner, as if it were real news. We’d have special Sports & Games segments, where we’d discuss strategies for “War” and “Candy Land”. And so on and so forth. Genius or stupidity? Let me know.
*All right, I made this one up. But the other two slogans are real.
**Which might or might not actually be in a closet. In fact, quite likely these games will be stored in boxes under my bed. But the effect will be the same regardless
***If no actual experts are available, we could settle for fake experts posing as actual experts. If no fake experts are available, we could speak in funny voices and pretend we were other people who were fake experts posing as actual experts.
THE ODD:
Went to this crazy sock outlet store in an attempt to replace all my pairs of plain, holey white socks with pairs of plain holeless white socks. Instead found gems as “The World’s Softest Sock” (“Like Walking On Clouds!” claimed the package), “Extra Low-Cut Socks” (“Perfect for the No-Sock Look!) and Golden Toe Socks (“Great for Hiding Those Times When You Aim Short of the Toilet!*). Other socks insisted on flashing obtrusive logos, from Hanes to Champion to Jockey. There was not a single plain, normal white sock to be found, not even on the severed-foot mannequins that mingled among the displays. Never before had I considered myself to have such particular, demanding taste in clothing, especially socks, but this ordeal chastened me, and the future I will make sure to acknowledge my status as a plain white sock elitist.
THE BORING:
Went to a less-than-crazy jeans outlet in an attempt to replace my pairs of plain, holey blue jeans with plain, holeless blue jeans. Had to wait in a long dressing room line to try on the five different style-size-brand combinations I pulled off the rack, since the queen lady in charge of the dressing rooms had caved and allowed several impatient women to use the men’s side. After a long process of trying on jeans, taking off jeans, retrying on jeans, and attempting to perform pseudo-kung fu like motions in an approximately 3x3 dressing room, I gave up and declared the Lee 30 x 30 Relaxed Fit jeans the winner. I purchased a pair in light blue, a pair in medium blue, and a pair in dark blue. With any luck, this bold move will add some much-needed variety to my otherwise tepid fall wardrobe.
THE SAD:
Went to several different shoe outlets, running the gamut in craziness from “mildly crazy” to “moderately crazy,” in attempt to replace my dirty, grungy, holey (yet still lovable) Nikes with a pair of white, clean, holeless, and equally lovable Nikes. Failed. Had to settle instead for a pair of New Balances that, despite being relatively while, clean, and holeness, seem to lack the charm, personality, and indomitable “Just Do It!” spirit that my old Nikes had. I am sure that given time I will learn to love and cherish my new sneakers, since I will be wearing them every day for the next ten months, at least, but the interim will be tough. It always a somewhat difficult and melancholy process for me, buying new shoes is.
THE FUN AND EXCITING:
Went to this great game store in downtown Rehoboth Beach to shop for additions to the soon-to-be-created Palmer 101 Closet o’ Games Galore**. Discovered this very interesting card game called Killer Bunnies and the Quest for the Magic Carrot, which I had to buy, for obvious reasons. I’m doubt the actual gameplay can possibly live up to my inflated expectations, but I had to find out. Also picked up a second game called “Curses,” which seems like it ought to provide at least one study break’s worth of entertainment, if not more. Successfully resisted purchasing up of the multiple Apples to Apples expansion that were in stock, figuring I ought to expand my horizons a little, rather than continue to rely on the same single game for amusement. Not that it won’t still be making the trip back with me to Swarthmore, of course.
THE SCARY:
Of course, the scariest part of the whole back-to-school-shopping ordeal (if one takes this term loosely, as I am about to) won’t happen till next week, when I’ll be forced to “shop” through the Swarthmore course catalog and make “non-refundable purchases” of classes. Latest thoughts on the matter: Intro to Film and Media Studies sounds like fun, doesn’t it? Watching TV and movies and stuff, and learning how they work? But is it worth putting off Semantics, which I also really, really want to take? What about Intro to Music? Where does “irony value” fall on the list of good reasons to take a class? Why don’t any of the Classics courses sound appealing, especially the misleadingly titled one that I’m already signed up for? Help! At least my freshman year scheduling seems to have been vindicated by the change in graduation requirements; who knew that if you put of taking Natural Sciences PDC’s for as long as possible, they really would just go away?
One final bonus note, speaking of me planning out my life for next year: I’ve mentioned this before, but I maybe want my own radio show. My latest and greatest idea features me, an as-yet-undetermined co-host, and a rotating panel of experts*** spending an hour each week discussing simple or ridiculous topics in an overly intellectual and pretentious manner. We read a children’s book (e.g. Curious George or Green Eggs and Ham) and launch into a complex literary analysis of it, such as the sort one might find in a college-level English course. We’d buy tabloids, and discuss the headline stories in a completely serious, analytical manner, as if it were real news. We’d have special Sports & Games segments, where we’d discuss strategies for “War” and “Candy Land”. And so on and so forth. Genius or stupidity? Let me know.
*All right, I made this one up. But the other two slogans are real.
**Which might or might not actually be in a closet. In fact, quite likely these games will be stored in boxes under my bed. But the effect will be the same regardless
***If no actual experts are available, we could settle for fake experts posing as actual experts. If no fake experts are available, we could speak in funny voices and pretend we were other people who were fake experts posing as actual experts.