Fic: Wounds (1/1)
Title: Wounds
Characters: Kate/Jack, little appareances from other characters.
Rating: PG
Summary: Kate's pov during the finale if she had been pregnant
Notes: Thanks to Steph for reviewing it & giving me the idea for this!
Kate stares blankly at Sawyer while he checks her wound, she tries to smile but it comes out somehow more awkward that she has intended it to. Maybe it’s because he’s not the one who should check her wounds.
Or maybe he’s simply staring at the wrong wound. He should be looking for one that lays deeper, under many more layers of skin, the one in her heart. The one Jack has made and that only he can mend.
Finally Sawyer finishes with her and she doesn’t lose any more time, she needs to find Jack, he’s settled on not coming back, on staying on this island forever but she can’t let him, she won’t.
He won’t stay a minute longer once he knows all. Once he knows he’s bound to be a father. If there’s one thing that can make him change his mind it’s that.
How funny is it that for three years she had never taken the pill and he had almost never used a condom and she never even got a pregnancy scare and now one little night together before coming back and she’s pregnant?
Life is funny. Or very cruel, depending on the point of view.
She makes her ways through the leaves and she spots him: standing fierce in the water, like some God fallen on Earth and she can’t even contemplate the thought of approaching him.
It hurts, it hurts too much, watching this Jack, so Jacob like, so distant from her Jack, and it scares her that maybe even if she tells him the truth it won’t be enough.
So she turns around and leaves and she can’t help but think about how many times she has been this close to telling him the truth.
The first time was when he jumped off the boat, she was about to yell the truth to Sawyer, to explain him why she needed to turn the boat around and get Jack, but she missed her chance and at the time she thought she would never see him again.
The second time was after the sub explosion. Hurley took her to the shore but she was going insane; she couldn’t find Jack and all she kept thinking was that she had missed another chance to come clean and even when she did find him she kept her mouth shut because she was so glad to see him again.
The third time was when he sewed her up. She kept rambling about how Jin had never even met his daughter but all she wanted to say was that she was scared he’d end up like Jin, but she didn’t, and she had missed one more chance.
She returns to the place where she was before only this time there’s just Hurley.
She tries to focus on the pain in her shoulder rather than the one in her heart. After some minutes Jack and Sawyer catch up with them and Jack explains that they need to go to a place called “The Heart of the Island”. Sawyer offers to go get Desmond and he tries to flirt a little with Kate.
She doesn’t’t ruin his game and plays along a little, just enough to keep herself distracted from Jack, the baby and the shoulder for a minute.
They start moving too, Kate tries to keep up the pace but her mind is spinning, too many thoughts at once; she has realized she hasn’t asked Jack why he volunteered to step in for Jacob. She has a pretty good idea about why but she needs to hear it from him, just to be sure.
“Why did you take the job, Jack?” she asks, practically out of breath.
“Because I was supposed to” he simply replies.
This makes her angry, when did he become all about destiny? Why? He has always been the man of science. Why this sudden leap of faith? She has to try and reason with him, fight him with logic.
“Why? Because some stranger wrote our names on a wall?” she half asks. They keep walking a few steps ahead of Hurley because this is something private, or at least it should be.
“I took it because the island is all I’ve got left. It’s the only thing in my life I haven’t manage to ruin” he simply offers her.
There, that’s the real reason behind all this mess. Them. He still believes that he was the one who messed things up when in reality she’s to blame too.
“You haven’t ruined anything” she can only reply but he still won’t stop to properly talk to her and discuss this.
So she suddenly stops, putting herself before Jack so he won’t keep walking and says “Nothing is irreversible”.
And she truly believes that, they’re not over; she just need him to come home with her and start things again.
Before she even has a chance of starting to approach the baby issue, Hurley catches up with them and ruins the mood “This would so sweet if weren’t all about to die”.
Way to ruin a moment Hurley.
Jack smiles at her, a little smile, and he starts walking again. Kate feels like she’s fighting a losing battle so she follows him.
She can’t help but think that if Jack won’t come with her, she’ll have to raise this kid on her own, she’ll have to explain to him why his father is not there. She’ll have to be both a mother and a father to her child and she’ll have one hell of a long, lonely life without Jack.
Somewhere along their path Sawyer catches up with them and updates him about the Locke situation, Jack doesn’t hesitate when he decides that they should keep going to the heart of the island.
Finally they meet Desmond, Ben and Locke and Kate is outraged. Locke killed Sun and Jin and made sure that Ji Yeon will never meet her father. She might be slightly projecting her own fear and frustration when she takes the rifle from Sawyer and starts shooting Locke.
But it’s all pointless, he can’t die, he even mocks her by saying that she might wanna save her bullets.
Sawyer holds her still while Locke confronts Jack who announces he’s gonna kill the other; then they all start walking again.
Suddenly Locke stops and announces that only he, Jack and Desmond will go on, the others have to stay there.
Jack gives her only a little look before taking on his mission to kill Locke and Kate can’t even begin to speak.
What’s she supposed to say anyway? Stop it because I’m pregnant? Not a great way to share this news, so she lets him go.
Time goes by and nothing happens. Sawyer tries to offer her some water and she knows she should take it, at least for the baby, but she can’t have anything or she’ll throw up all her guts.
She’s so nervous and scared, she never even said goodbye, just in case…
…then the walkie starts beeping, it’s Miles announcing to them that they’re going to take the plane to fly off the island, but when she hears one of them say ‘Claire’ she gets the walkie from Ben.
In all this mess she had almost forgotten why she was there in the first place, to save Claire and get her back to Aaron, the boy she had grown to consider her son but wasn’t really hers.
She asks Miles if Claire is ok, but all she can hear from the walkie is gunshots.
All of a sudden the ground start shaking like an earthquake and as she falls to the ground, she tries to protect herself so the baby won’t be hurt.
She doesn’t even realize that a tree has fallen on Ben, she gets there to try to help free him but Miles calls again from the walkie and she gets it, asking about Claire and why she doesn’t wanna go, so he tells her about the plane but before she says anything the ground shakes once more.
She manages to get up and she’s speechless when Miles tell them to come to Hydra Island because they’ll leave in an hour.
She has to get Jack, it’s now or never.
She takes off on her own, following what she supposes is their path. She walks and walks but this rain makes it almost impossible to see.
Finally she catches a glimpse of Jack, but what she sees is not something good; he and Locke are fighting, they’re on the ground and Locke is winning.
She runs like she has never done before in her life because she can’t be late. She gotta stop Locke before he can kill Jack.
Luckily she has brought the rifle with her and she doesn’t hesitate using it.
“I saved you a bullet” she says angrily when she shoots him. Nobody can touch her man, not if she has anything to say about it.
Jack is surprised to see her there, saving his life, yet he manages to throw Locke off the cliff before getting down.
She comes to his side immediately and she realizes that something is wrong when he collapses to the ground and she has to do her best to hold him, like he is a grown up baby.
He lifts his shirt, she sees a stab wound and her world is crashes in on her; he’s seriously injured.
This was not supposed to happen, they should have both been in good shape, ready to leave this damn island and embrace their future as a family.
But her little fantasy is now shattered; she can’t even look at the wound. She was really right when she told him that they were both damaged goods.
She barely manages to let out a little “Jack” before he interrupts her, attempting to lighten the mood with a joke “I’m fine. Just find me some thread and I can count to five”.
She can’t even laugh, not even to please him. She’s too worried about him to humour him. She contemplates about saying something but Sawyer and the others interrupt them.
She wonders if they’ll make it off if the island in time for Jack to be fixed, maybe there’s still hope after all. Maybe after all the pain, the hurt and bad things, maybe they can have their happy ending.
But her hope is short lived because the ground starts shaking again, meaning that even if Locke is dead, it still isn’t over, the island is going down in a short time.
What she doesn’t understand is why, but her answer is soon answered by Jack: he believes that whatever Desmond turned off, it must be turned back on, and he has to be the one to do it, He wants all of them to leave now, in case it doesn’t work.
She can’t tell him now but she needs to make him understand “You can come with us too, Jack”, she has used ‘us’ but she isn’t thinking about the group, she’s thinking about her and their baby.
She continues “You don’t have to do this”, she’s pleading for him to let go of this island, save himself, save them.
But he’s resolute “No, I do have to do it”.
She kneels in front of him, trying to recall a similar situation when she pleaded for him to tell her what the Others did to him and not to trust them.
“No, you don’t. Let the island sink, Jack” she tells him, but what she really wants to say is ‘choose us, choose me over this so called destiny’.
“Kate.. I can’t” he says with finality.
They stare at each other once more before Kate has to move away, this isn’t working. This is definitely a lost battle.
But something else gets to her, Jack is not committing suicide, he thinks he’s already dead. He thinks that he won’t make it even if he listens to her pleads.
He makes arrangements with Sawyer, Ben and Hurley then he finally turns to her and he says “Kate, you gotta go. You get Claire on that plane”.
He wants to say more but he doesn’t and suddenly it hits her like the gunshot she got a couple days before: this is a goodbye.
It’s now or never. She has to tell him, he deserves to know.
But does he deserve to suffer all he’s going to miss? Does he deserve to know he’s going to be a father when he won’t actually be able to be one?
No, he doesn’t deserve to suffer so even though it breaks her heart she doesn’t tell him.
A tear streams down her face when she says “Tell me I’m gonna see you again”. He shakes his head, he doesn’t wanna lie, but he can’t bring himself to say the words.
And Kate gets it, it’s the end of them, well not completely, there’ll always be a piece of Jack with her. But that’s definitely the end of her dream about a life with him and a happy family.
She shakes her head as if to make these thoughts go away and she kisses him, desperately, fiercely, with need and giving all of her in this last kiss.
He pulls her closer and for a second her not-still-showing belly touches his mortal wound, and it’s somehow poetic how the baby, this new life, touches the point that is sucking the life out of his father.
That’s the most Jack and his baby will ever share and it just kills Kate.
When she pulls away, still holding on to him, she says what she hasn’t said in a while “I love you”; Jack smiles before replying “I love you” and leaving with Ben and Hurley.
Leaving her behind, leaving their baby behind.
She can’t stop sobbing.
Her mission now is to get Claire and get off the island as soon as it’s possible. She and Sawyer need to get to the boat but there’s no time to climb off the rock so she simply jumps in the water.
She does it a little carelessly, too upset about Jack, almost forgetting that she might hurt her baby.
She has to be strong, for him, for her, for Claire and for their baby, she’ll have plenty of time to cry when she gets home.
Once on Hydra Island she finds Claire and she promises to help her being a mom, what she doesn’t tell her is that she will need her help as well.
After she has convinced Claire, they run for the plane and they catch it just in time; once on board she takes place next to Claire and she gives herself a moment to sob about how much she has lost.
Frank manages to get the plane in air and she takes her Claire’s hand, to reassure her and reassure herself.
Many years later she finds herself telling this story over and over again, because her son David wants to hear all about his daddy, how he saved them, the hero he was and she can’t help wondering if wounds don’t bleed for a reason.
Maybe she was supposed to loose Jack then for the greater good, maybe his sacrifice will be rewarded after his death, maybe they’ll see each other again.
Characters: Kate/Jack, little appareances from other characters.
Rating: PG
Summary: Kate's pov during the finale if she had been pregnant
Notes: Thanks to Steph for reviewing it & giving me the idea for this!
Kate stares blankly at Sawyer while he checks her wound, she tries to smile but it comes out somehow more awkward that she has intended it to. Maybe it’s because he’s not the one who should check her wounds.
Or maybe he’s simply staring at the wrong wound. He should be looking for one that lays deeper, under many more layers of skin, the one in her heart. The one Jack has made and that only he can mend.
Finally Sawyer finishes with her and she doesn’t lose any more time, she needs to find Jack, he’s settled on not coming back, on staying on this island forever but she can’t let him, she won’t.
He won’t stay a minute longer once he knows all. Once he knows he’s bound to be a father. If there’s one thing that can make him change his mind it’s that.
How funny is it that for three years she had never taken the pill and he had almost never used a condom and she never even got a pregnancy scare and now one little night together before coming back and she’s pregnant?
Life is funny. Or very cruel, depending on the point of view.
She makes her ways through the leaves and she spots him: standing fierce in the water, like some God fallen on Earth and she can’t even contemplate the thought of approaching him.
It hurts, it hurts too much, watching this Jack, so Jacob like, so distant from her Jack, and it scares her that maybe even if she tells him the truth it won’t be enough.
So she turns around and leaves and she can’t help but think about how many times she has been this close to telling him the truth.
The first time was when he jumped off the boat, she was about to yell the truth to Sawyer, to explain him why she needed to turn the boat around and get Jack, but she missed her chance and at the time she thought she would never see him again.
The second time was after the sub explosion. Hurley took her to the shore but she was going insane; she couldn’t find Jack and all she kept thinking was that she had missed another chance to come clean and even when she did find him she kept her mouth shut because she was so glad to see him again.
The third time was when he sewed her up. She kept rambling about how Jin had never even met his daughter but all she wanted to say was that she was scared he’d end up like Jin, but she didn’t, and she had missed one more chance.
She returns to the place where she was before only this time there’s just Hurley.
She tries to focus on the pain in her shoulder rather than the one in her heart. After some minutes Jack and Sawyer catch up with them and Jack explains that they need to go to a place called “The Heart of the Island”. Sawyer offers to go get Desmond and he tries to flirt a little with Kate.
She doesn’t’t ruin his game and plays along a little, just enough to keep herself distracted from Jack, the baby and the shoulder for a minute.
They start moving too, Kate tries to keep up the pace but her mind is spinning, too many thoughts at once; she has realized she hasn’t asked Jack why he volunteered to step in for Jacob. She has a pretty good idea about why but she needs to hear it from him, just to be sure.
“Why did you take the job, Jack?” she asks, practically out of breath.
“Because I was supposed to” he simply replies.
This makes her angry, when did he become all about destiny? Why? He has always been the man of science. Why this sudden leap of faith? She has to try and reason with him, fight him with logic.
“Why? Because some stranger wrote our names on a wall?” she half asks. They keep walking a few steps ahead of Hurley because this is something private, or at least it should be.
“I took it because the island is all I’ve got left. It’s the only thing in my life I haven’t manage to ruin” he simply offers her.
There, that’s the real reason behind all this mess. Them. He still believes that he was the one who messed things up when in reality she’s to blame too.
“You haven’t ruined anything” she can only reply but he still won’t stop to properly talk to her and discuss this.
So she suddenly stops, putting herself before Jack so he won’t keep walking and says “Nothing is irreversible”.
And she truly believes that, they’re not over; she just need him to come home with her and start things again.
Before she even has a chance of starting to approach the baby issue, Hurley catches up with them and ruins the mood “This would so sweet if weren’t all about to die”.
Way to ruin a moment Hurley.
Jack smiles at her, a little smile, and he starts walking again. Kate feels like she’s fighting a losing battle so she follows him.
She can’t help but think that if Jack won’t come with her, she’ll have to raise this kid on her own, she’ll have to explain to him why his father is not there. She’ll have to be both a mother and a father to her child and she’ll have one hell of a long, lonely life without Jack.
Somewhere along their path Sawyer catches up with them and updates him about the Locke situation, Jack doesn’t hesitate when he decides that they should keep going to the heart of the island.
Finally they meet Desmond, Ben and Locke and Kate is outraged. Locke killed Sun and Jin and made sure that Ji Yeon will never meet her father. She might be slightly projecting her own fear and frustration when she takes the rifle from Sawyer and starts shooting Locke.
But it’s all pointless, he can’t die, he even mocks her by saying that she might wanna save her bullets.
Sawyer holds her still while Locke confronts Jack who announces he’s gonna kill the other; then they all start walking again.
Suddenly Locke stops and announces that only he, Jack and Desmond will go on, the others have to stay there.
Jack gives her only a little look before taking on his mission to kill Locke and Kate can’t even begin to speak.
What’s she supposed to say anyway? Stop it because I’m pregnant? Not a great way to share this news, so she lets him go.
Time goes by and nothing happens. Sawyer tries to offer her some water and she knows she should take it, at least for the baby, but she can’t have anything or she’ll throw up all her guts.
She’s so nervous and scared, she never even said goodbye, just in case…
…then the walkie starts beeping, it’s Miles announcing to them that they’re going to take the plane to fly off the island, but when she hears one of them say ‘Claire’ she gets the walkie from Ben.
In all this mess she had almost forgotten why she was there in the first place, to save Claire and get her back to Aaron, the boy she had grown to consider her son but wasn’t really hers.
She asks Miles if Claire is ok, but all she can hear from the walkie is gunshots.
All of a sudden the ground start shaking like an earthquake and as she falls to the ground, she tries to protect herself so the baby won’t be hurt.
She doesn’t even realize that a tree has fallen on Ben, she gets there to try to help free him but Miles calls again from the walkie and she gets it, asking about Claire and why she doesn’t wanna go, so he tells her about the plane but before she says anything the ground shakes once more.
She manages to get up and she’s speechless when Miles tell them to come to Hydra Island because they’ll leave in an hour.
She has to get Jack, it’s now or never.
She takes off on her own, following what she supposes is their path. She walks and walks but this rain makes it almost impossible to see.
Finally she catches a glimpse of Jack, but what she sees is not something good; he and Locke are fighting, they’re on the ground and Locke is winning.
She runs like she has never done before in her life because she can’t be late. She gotta stop Locke before he can kill Jack.
Luckily she has brought the rifle with her and she doesn’t hesitate using it.
“I saved you a bullet” she says angrily when she shoots him. Nobody can touch her man, not if she has anything to say about it.
Jack is surprised to see her there, saving his life, yet he manages to throw Locke off the cliff before getting down.
She comes to his side immediately and she realizes that something is wrong when he collapses to the ground and she has to do her best to hold him, like he is a grown up baby.
He lifts his shirt, she sees a stab wound and her world is crashes in on her; he’s seriously injured.
This was not supposed to happen, they should have both been in good shape, ready to leave this damn island and embrace their future as a family.
But her little fantasy is now shattered; she can’t even look at the wound. She was really right when she told him that they were both damaged goods.
She barely manages to let out a little “Jack” before he interrupts her, attempting to lighten the mood with a joke “I’m fine. Just find me some thread and I can count to five”.
She can’t even laugh, not even to please him. She’s too worried about him to humour him. She contemplates about saying something but Sawyer and the others interrupt them.
She wonders if they’ll make it off if the island in time for Jack to be fixed, maybe there’s still hope after all. Maybe after all the pain, the hurt and bad things, maybe they can have their happy ending.
But her hope is short lived because the ground starts shaking again, meaning that even if Locke is dead, it still isn’t over, the island is going down in a short time.
What she doesn’t understand is why, but her answer is soon answered by Jack: he believes that whatever Desmond turned off, it must be turned back on, and he has to be the one to do it, He wants all of them to leave now, in case it doesn’t work.
She can’t tell him now but she needs to make him understand “You can come with us too, Jack”, she has used ‘us’ but she isn’t thinking about the group, she’s thinking about her and their baby.
She continues “You don’t have to do this”, she’s pleading for him to let go of this island, save himself, save them.
But he’s resolute “No, I do have to do it”.
She kneels in front of him, trying to recall a similar situation when she pleaded for him to tell her what the Others did to him and not to trust them.
“No, you don’t. Let the island sink, Jack” she tells him, but what she really wants to say is ‘choose us, choose me over this so called destiny’.
“Kate.. I can’t” he says with finality.
They stare at each other once more before Kate has to move away, this isn’t working. This is definitely a lost battle.
But something else gets to her, Jack is not committing suicide, he thinks he’s already dead. He thinks that he won’t make it even if he listens to her pleads.
He makes arrangements with Sawyer, Ben and Hurley then he finally turns to her and he says “Kate, you gotta go. You get Claire on that plane”.
He wants to say more but he doesn’t and suddenly it hits her like the gunshot she got a couple days before: this is a goodbye.
It’s now or never. She has to tell him, he deserves to know.
But does he deserve to suffer all he’s going to miss? Does he deserve to know he’s going to be a father when he won’t actually be able to be one?
No, he doesn’t deserve to suffer so even though it breaks her heart she doesn’t tell him.
A tear streams down her face when she says “Tell me I’m gonna see you again”. He shakes his head, he doesn’t wanna lie, but he can’t bring himself to say the words.
And Kate gets it, it’s the end of them, well not completely, there’ll always be a piece of Jack with her. But that’s definitely the end of her dream about a life with him and a happy family.
She shakes her head as if to make these thoughts go away and she kisses him, desperately, fiercely, with need and giving all of her in this last kiss.
He pulls her closer and for a second her not-still-showing belly touches his mortal wound, and it’s somehow poetic how the baby, this new life, touches the point that is sucking the life out of his father.
That’s the most Jack and his baby will ever share and it just kills Kate.
When she pulls away, still holding on to him, she says what she hasn’t said in a while “I love you”; Jack smiles before replying “I love you” and leaving with Ben and Hurley.
Leaving her behind, leaving their baby behind.
She can’t stop sobbing.
Her mission now is to get Claire and get off the island as soon as it’s possible. She and Sawyer need to get to the boat but there’s no time to climb off the rock so she simply jumps in the water.
She does it a little carelessly, too upset about Jack, almost forgetting that she might hurt her baby.
She has to be strong, for him, for her, for Claire and for their baby, she’ll have plenty of time to cry when she gets home.
Once on Hydra Island she finds Claire and she promises to help her being a mom, what she doesn’t tell her is that she will need her help as well.
After she has convinced Claire, they run for the plane and they catch it just in time; once on board she takes place next to Claire and she gives herself a moment to sob about how much she has lost.
Frank manages to get the plane in air and she takes her Claire’s hand, to reassure her and reassure herself.
Many years later she finds herself telling this story over and over again, because her son David wants to hear all about his daddy, how he saved them, the hero he was and she can’t help wondering if wounds don’t bleed for a reason.
Maybe she was supposed to loose Jack then for the greater good, maybe his sacrifice will be rewarded after his death, maybe they’ll see each other again.