i won't allow any happiness, cos everytime you laugh i feel so guilty.
In Flames - Only For The Weak
I can't tolerate your sadness
cause it's me you're drowning
I won't allow any hapiness
cause everytime you laugh, I feel so guilty
"I blame the needs that you feed
cause selfish eyes would not see"
Am I forced to have any regret?
I've become the lie, beutiful and free
In my righteous own mind
I adore and preach the insanity you gave
Sell me the infection, it's only for the weak
No need for sympathy, the misery that is me
No need for sympathy, it's only for the weak)
On bleeding knees I accept my fate
I've lost the ability to paint the clouds
cause it's me you're draining
I'm stuck in this slow-motion dark day
cause everytime you run, I fall behind
"Far away is a place where I hide
the truth that have to be locked away"
And so I hear my voice again
The tale of the bitter man, here I am
Shake the silence and hear what it says
The tranquil pride that become the lie
--
people are bitching at me cos i'm bitching in my journal. i don't care if people read it, i dont care if they comment, all i'm using it for is a vent. i mean, yeah it's cool that my old friends can still see what's up with me, and then they can even comment or email me when they can tell something's wrong, but hell...it's not there for you to bitch at me about. if you don't like it, don't fucking read it. *sigh* i hate people sometimes.
today the lab assistant is Tyler. mr. dodge went to basketball practice (he's the girl's coach) so tyler gets to tell everyone to stfu or fuck off. it's funny.
yes, btw, i *am* sitting next to him ;p hi tyler. (he's kinda off on his own world, like always.)
ohh exciting news. i'm going to be 16 in 11 days! which means, i'm going to apply for a job at jamba juice. cool eh? the only problem is i have to get a shift that allows me back before sundown cos they dont want me to walk back by myself after dark across the campus...god knows i might get raped on a christian school grounds -_-. people are illogical. then again i suppose i am kinda small...hmm...anyways, it's kinda stupid but i put in the petition for it today, which mneans they'll talk about it tomorrow. i hope i get it! :D
i decided not to even tell my parents about it until i've already get the job (assuming i will..) because they'll just bitch about it and make me feel like i'm inadequate. stupid parents.
do i sound overly something-or-other? hmm
AUGUST CAME BACK! YAY! I LOVE AUGUST. kk, drama attack. hehe. she seems kinda sad that she's back, but happy too. i really missed her :( she was sick in taiwan and her doctor wouldn't let her come back.
tyler's trying to find my journal hehe it's funny. he can't figure out the syntax to get to it ;)
well, now he's creating his own journal. I feel so influential. hehe.
okay, on to stupider things:
I asked brandy today in world history (via note) what i should do about liking this guy...she was really bitchy about it (sorry brandy i love you :/) but it kinda bothered me. all she could do was tell me how pathetic i was and like, abladglkagj i cant expl because of certain SIDE...effects...ahem. i'll explain in the next journal if i feel like it.
i'm still mad at my parents.
ANYWHO...later y'all, gonna go harrass people and flaunt my boots and cute skirt. :P
aldrig aldrig säger!
-- r