(no subject)
"Rachel, has her mom, and she talks constantly to her dad, and she has her little sisters and she has me. But Marco, for two years after your mom died, or at least everyone thought she was dead, your dad totally fell apart. You were the man of the house. No one was there to take care of you."
"I take care of myself."
Cassie sat beside me. She put her hand on my arm.
"Cassie, does Jake know you're flirting with me?"
She ignored my weak attempt at a joke. "And then we found out your mom was still alive. Only she wasn't your mom anymore. Her body had been taken over by a Yeerk. And she was the enemy. Marco, in the space of a few awful months you've gone from believing your mother is dead to almost literally having to try and destroy her."
"And you think maybe that's stressful?" I deadpanned.
"I think it would have crushed most people," she said. "That mission against her and Visser Three, you were setting her up to take a fall. You were intimately involved with leading Visser one, your mother, into a trap that-"
"Shut up! Shut up!"
I jerked up off the couch. I had my hands over my ears. Stupid. I took my hands down. They were trembling.
"Look, Cassie..." I started to say with exaggerated calm. But then I forgot what I wanted to say.
I could see her. On that mountaintop. Her sudden realization that it was me who had brought her there. Marco. Me. Her son. Her host's son. Not some ruthless Andalite warrior but her own son...Visser Three's troops and ships closing in. The cliff giving way.
Falling.
And later, Rachel had come to me and said that her body could not be found. That maybe she was still alive.
And Rachel understood that she wasn't doing me any favors because it was so much better to know, to know for sure anything, even to know something terrible as long as the torture of uncertainty was over...
"What did I do?" I whispered.
"You're in a war, Marco. You're here, in your own living room, eating cookies and watching TV and going to school on Monday, but you're in a war. Bad things have happened to you."
"Tobias isn't losing it. Ax isn't losing it. Look at them, they're both all alone. My god, Tobias isn't even human anymore."
"Marco, you don't know what they've gone through. They'd never tell you."
"Guy code," I said.
"It doesn't matter what they feel anyway, you know? You have to deal with what you feel."
"I feel like you drank my milk."
"I take care of myself."
Cassie sat beside me. She put her hand on my arm.
"Cassie, does Jake know you're flirting with me?"
She ignored my weak attempt at a joke. "And then we found out your mom was still alive. Only she wasn't your mom anymore. Her body had been taken over by a Yeerk. And she was the enemy. Marco, in the space of a few awful months you've gone from believing your mother is dead to almost literally having to try and destroy her."
"And you think maybe that's stressful?" I deadpanned.
"I think it would have crushed most people," she said. "That mission against her and Visser Three, you were setting her up to take a fall. You were intimately involved with leading Visser one, your mother, into a trap that-"
"Shut up! Shut up!"
I jerked up off the couch. I had my hands over my ears. Stupid. I took my hands down. They were trembling.
"Look, Cassie..." I started to say with exaggerated calm. But then I forgot what I wanted to say.
I could see her. On that mountaintop. Her sudden realization that it was me who had brought her there. Marco. Me. Her son. Her host's son. Not some ruthless Andalite warrior but her own son...Visser Three's troops and ships closing in. The cliff giving way.
Falling.
And later, Rachel had come to me and said that her body could not be found. That maybe she was still alive.
And Rachel understood that she wasn't doing me any favors because it was so much better to know, to know for sure anything, even to know something terrible as long as the torture of uncertainty was over...
"What did I do?" I whispered.
"You're in a war, Marco. You're here, in your own living room, eating cookies and watching TV and going to school on Monday, but you're in a war. Bad things have happened to you."
"Tobias isn't losing it. Ax isn't losing it. Look at them, they're both all alone. My god, Tobias isn't even human anymore."
"Marco, you don't know what they've gone through. They'd never tell you."
"Guy code," I said.
"It doesn't matter what they feel anyway, you know? You have to deal with what you feel."
"I feel like you drank my milk."