Hereditary
Jason fondly thought of high school prom, when the punch was almost always spiked and the comforting possibility that if you wanted to, with a little determination, you could get drunk enough to ignore what a horrible train wreck the night was. Unfortunately the only thing the wedding reception had was a (as far as he could tell) completely innocent fruit concoction that couldn’t quite call itself punch. Not even his hoodlum cousins could be convinced (bribed) to help it along.
Unfortunately, the lack of alcohol provided obviously hadn’t deterred his mother from stuffing what probably amounted to a rather large mini-bar into her oversized purse, and she wasn’t sharing. Instead, she was not-so-quietly getting drunker and drunker while Jason’s sister tried to convince her that the woman who had just married his brother was not in fact a tramp and yes, Hooters was a very respectable place to work. Marly was forced to abandon her efforts when one of her innumerable sons - Jason guessed that one was named Mark - attempted to drown his newest baby brother in the alcohol-free fruit drink.
As best man, Jason wondered if he was obligated to somehow take control of this circus, but because neither Nick nor his new bride were around, he thought it was okay to collapse into the nearest chair with a weary sigh and close his eyes. The last Jon had seen of Nick, he was getting screamed at by Liz, a perfect start to a blissful marriage. Jason realized with a snort that his entire family was utterly insane.
He heard a female sigh similar to the one he had released earlier next to him and glanced to his right, recognizing the Maid of Honor. Shelly? Sherry? Sh-something. She glanced at him and said, “Jason, right, Nick’s brother?”
“The one and only,” he muttered. Loud scolding attracted their attention, and Jason saw Marly yelling at yet another one of her brood.
Sheryl cocked her head thoughtfully. “Don’t take this personally or anything, but your family is nuts.”
“Trust me, I know.”
“You ever get worried that it’s hereditary?”
He blinked. “What?”
“Well, you know, you’re related to them, so maybe your insanity just hasn’t shown up yet.”
“Hey, Heather, could you come here for a second?” The Maid of Honor stood up and Jason thought, huh.
Heather patted him on the shoulder before she left. “Psycho or not, make sure your brother takes care of Liz.”
As she walked away he quietly said to himself, “I don’t think it’s her we should be worried about.”