Enjoy those Peeps, you fuckin monsters.
Another Easter has come and gone, and the Val hopes everyone happily celebrated this most misunderstood of holidays.
My Easter holiday consisted of attending two family gatherings with the girlfriend, none which were my actual family. One party was a BBQ involving a hairy chihuahua nipping at my ankle for most of the time I was there. The other involved a turkey and a camcorder. I shook more hands than I could bother to count, and I'm sure at least 8 different kinds of animals died so I could eat today. Don't be hatin, vegans. It was all in the name of Jesus.
Since we're on the subject of Easter, I'd like to bring up an issue I have with one of the staples of the holiday, the JustBorn Marshmallow Peep. Love it or hate it, the Marshmallow Peep has become to Easter what the pine tree is to Christmas and the McBoo pail is to Halloween. I'm personally a HUGE fan of the Peep, but I gotta admit: I feel like bawling like a little girl each time I have to eat one. It's not cause I'm a pussy, or that they taste bad. Quite the contrary, I think the little fuckers are perhaps some of the tastiest things on our planet Earth, natural or artificial. What gives me these feelings of such pathetic remorse is the fact that the Marshmallow Peep is so damn cute! Don't agree? Take a look at this picture:
and tell me you wouldn't feel like some disgusting murderer each time you bit the heads off these adorable piles of sugar and chemicals. I also just realized I have one box left. I hope one of you out there will do the right thing and KILL me before I can feed again.
As for Marshmallow Bunnies, I could give two fucks about eating them. I don't even like rabbits anyway. Happy Easter everybody!!!!
My Easter holiday consisted of attending two family gatherings with the girlfriend, none which were my actual family. One party was a BBQ involving a hairy chihuahua nipping at my ankle for most of the time I was there. The other involved a turkey and a camcorder. I shook more hands than I could bother to count, and I'm sure at least 8 different kinds of animals died so I could eat today. Don't be hatin, vegans. It was all in the name of Jesus.
Since we're on the subject of Easter, I'd like to bring up an issue I have with one of the staples of the holiday, the JustBorn Marshmallow Peep. Love it or hate it, the Marshmallow Peep has become to Easter what the pine tree is to Christmas and the McBoo pail is to Halloween. I'm personally a HUGE fan of the Peep, but I gotta admit: I feel like bawling like a little girl each time I have to eat one. It's not cause I'm a pussy, or that they taste bad. Quite the contrary, I think the little fuckers are perhaps some of the tastiest things on our planet Earth, natural or artificial. What gives me these feelings of such pathetic remorse is the fact that the Marshmallow Peep is so damn cute! Don't agree? Take a look at this picture:
and tell me you wouldn't feel like some disgusting murderer each time you bit the heads off these adorable piles of sugar and chemicals. I also just realized I have one box left. I hope one of you out there will do the right thing and KILL me before I can feed again.
As for Marshmallow Bunnies, I could give two fucks about eating them. I don't even like rabbits anyway. Happy Easter everybody!!!!