21. clumsiness and drunkeness is a brilliant combination. - voice.
[Bernard probably was struck late with the decorating desire. So tried to fiddle with some tinsel. It ended quickly and disasterously. He sounds quite drunk and just a little panicky]
[Sound of spluttering] Tinsel tastes bloody horrible. You'd think, if [Rustling noise] they knew people were going to get tied up in this damn stuff as some sort of Christmas imprisonment, they'd make it taste better. Or easier to untie! Or....
[More frantic rustling as he tries to get out of his own tinsel-trap] NOT SO BLOODY STUPID. Christmas is attacking me! No holidays like me! Not even the one which is supposed to be about being bloody nice!
Stupid arsing tinsel! [Long pause and a shuffling sound]
I also have a bit of plastic holly stuck in my hair and it keeps bobbing in and out of my vision. THIS IS UNFAIR. DAMN YOU, FATHER CHRISTMAS YOU UTTER SO-JOLLY-HE'S-PROBABLY-ON-CRACK WANKER.
Otto, this is totally you and your moustache and that aforementioned bearded idiot plotting against me. DON'T DENY IT.
[Descends into shuffling and tinsel rustling.]
I CAN'T EVEN LIGHT A CIGARETTE.
[Sound of spluttering] Tinsel tastes bloody horrible. You'd think, if [Rustling noise] they knew people were going to get tied up in this damn stuff as some sort of Christmas imprisonment, they'd make it taste better. Or easier to untie! Or....
[More frantic rustling as he tries to get out of his own tinsel-trap] NOT SO BLOODY STUPID. Christmas is attacking me! No holidays like me! Not even the one which is supposed to be about being bloody nice!
Stupid arsing tinsel! [Long pause and a shuffling sound]
I also have a bit of plastic holly stuck in my hair and it keeps bobbing in and out of my vision. THIS IS UNFAIR. DAMN YOU, FATHER CHRISTMAS YOU UTTER SO-JOLLY-HE'S-PROBABLY-ON-CRACK WANKER.
Otto, this is totally you and your moustache and that aforementioned bearded idiot plotting against me. DON'T DENY IT.
[Descends into shuffling and tinsel rustling.]
I CAN'T EVEN LIGHT A CIGARETTE.