hm..

[alcoholic_kiss]

just the way i feel lately gets me.. im not particularly sad.. but im not happy.. i dont know what you'd call it.. and im really sick of school, i feel like ite sucking the life out of me, even though i feel like im making more friends and learning more in school than i have in a long time.. the way i felt all day today was just absolutly tired, and rushed.. i hated it.. ive been in a great mood all day though, i dont know how to describe it.. i hated school today because either i was to tired to think or was mad because i wanted to finish writing my poem because i was too busy.. it sucked.. i feel so drained of everything, and all of a sudden i feel like everything has substance, and its great for an artistic person like me.. it feels like im taking in everything like a video camera, but somethings are in slow motion and everything else is in fast foward..and i try and absorb it and take it all in, but i forget the subtance that it had to me and it becomes static..so i write it down.. so ive been writing alot lately, but ive been listening too..anything that seems to pop against that black and grey of everything else, i write down, or try really hard to take it to memory so ill always have it..but it seems like im notcing more and more of these thing not just things that have to do with me, most things i notice have to do with my personal in take, and has this kinda slow, faded, dreamy sence to it.. but everything else that i take in from other people is kinda sad, and idk.. like i notice so many awful things people say to each other and how much hate that can have, all there lies, ignorance, you name it i hear you say it..but i dont judge the person for it, i swear i take it in a totally "picturesque" way..but im getting way too deep writ noe so i have to stop.. and dont take and make sence with this update because i doubt it make sence to anyone but me..

and that's my stop gap page... for now... i will keep adding... and maybe think of something more exciting to put here soon

after the rain...

love gab