When will it end?
I am living in a world of shit, I hold no value in anything, everything I used to enjoy is nothing. Friends I used to hold are strangers to me, some are enemies. Things I used to rebuke are beginning to appear to be my only relief. I am falling into the past, I can't save myself from myself. Every time I think I've got it together I find that it gets worse. Every time I think I've stilled myself for the worst, it turns out to be worse than I could ever have imagined. My nights are haunted with terrible nightmares about what is, and wonderful dreams about what will never be. I want to run from it all, I don't give a damn how shameful it is, but i missed my chance to run all because I believed that it may be getting better. I am a Fool! I made a mistake. What did I expect to happen? Despite knowing all that, I let my self be deceived by hope, and now I suffer the consequences. Hope is the worst thing someone like me could ever have.
I can't seem to cut my self away from this, as I have done so many times in the past. It leaves me nauseated. It was a talent I had always prided my self in. To be able to cut away everyone and everything, and just start over. This time I find that the threads are to strong to cut, and believe me, Ive tried to cut them, no mistaking that. Or maybe this metaphoric blade that I use to cut the threads has dulled. Maybe I've become weak. I now doubt my self and my own abilities more than anything. I don't know what to do. I am lost. I Try to find my direction yet I can't stop falling. I don't know how much longer I can endure this, I need to know. When will it end?
I can't seem to cut my self away from this, as I have done so many times in the past. It leaves me nauseated. It was a talent I had always prided my self in. To be able to cut away everyone and everything, and just start over. This time I find that the threads are to strong to cut, and believe me, Ive tried to cut them, no mistaking that. Or maybe this metaphoric blade that I use to cut the threads has dulled. Maybe I've become weak. I now doubt my self and my own abilities more than anything. I don't know what to do. I am lost. I Try to find my direction yet I can't stop falling. I don't know how much longer I can endure this, I need to know. When will it end?