As it turns out, I wrote
my eulogy for the wrong vehicle.
It should have been for my dad's truck, a 1981 Ford F-150.
Our mechanic said the problem with my brakes was linked to the anti-lock braking system and fixed with one wire. The fix required disabling the anti-lock brakes, which I've never felt active as long as I've driven it.
My dad's truck, on the other hand, had a leak in the brake system that was deemed not worth fixing, in addition to having a leak in the gas tank that necessitates keeping it only half full. (It still passed state inspection, though!) The truck wasn't driven often, and had higher gas costs, but it could of course transport large items that the the Accords couldn't.
My dad is still keeping the truck for now, but had the plates and insurance taken off and transferred onto our replacement car, a 1997 Accord, that we bought less than two months ago.
It was a novel experience being able to listen to my MP3 player and use air conditioning for the one day I drove my mom's car, but the tradeoff of having none of that but a manual transmission is worth it to me, at least for shorter trips. I find I'm always learning new ways to fine-tune my clutching and driving requires more strategy than the basic stop or go of automatic transmissions, not to mention that my moods are readily apparent in how smooth my clutching is. I also miss using the power of downshifting to slow down in automatics.
I still do not anticipate my car lasting to next year, unless it's semi-retired and only driven occasionally like my dad's truck [our driveway is narrow and such that only one car can be taken in or out at a time, so the car parked last is rarely taken out unless intentionally], but it is so good to have it back again for now.