I try to be perfect, but sometimes I just don't measure up. (Hehe, a short joke)
Cross-posted to my DJ.
Okay, this is regarding to the thing I was so ranty over a few hours ago, got over, got back into, and now typing about again.
My mom calls me a bad person for wanting so many things, but this is compared to the Chinese population. What about compared to the majority of the U.S.? The white people? Academically in my grade level compared to them I'm an overachiever, but my posessions compared to them are simply middle-class.
And also, some of my things compared to other Chinese in the area are small as well. For example: I used to take Chinese school here, got really bored and dropped out, started taking it again, then dropped out again. The second time I took it back up, all of the 6th graders (I'm a 7th grader, but you should all know that) had cell phones. I think even some of the 5th graders had one, and I was pretty much the only one in my class, excluding Jessie, who didn't have a cellphone. When I asked .. Felicia I think? why she had a cell phone, she said, "Because we're 6th graders, duh?"
I still don't have a cell phone of my own. We have a T-mobile cell phone, but that's a family cell phone and we all share it. Almost all of the people here at PPMS have their own cell phone too, so I'm kinda left out. Which sucks.
Okay, I admit it, I can be pretty selfish sometimes. When my brother gets something, I always take up the chance to whine for a new manga so I can catch up on Chrno Crusade or FMA or Furuba or Alice 19th. :P But compared to the other people I associate with, I don't get very many new things at all. Take a look at the Abercrombie or Aeropostale clothing that almost everyone wears; the t-shirts alone are probably at least $20 apiece. Most of my clothes only cost around $5-$10, the only expensive t-shirts I have are my FMA and Fruits Basket t-shirts. (I have 2 from Hot Topic, $18 or so each.) My mom was talking about how expensive my clothes were (when I got a verbal beating tonight, hehe) and how many t-shirts she could buy for $20, when in actuality I only have 2 t-shirts that I bought for that price. (The newer FMA t-shirt I have Justine bought for me at Megacon; I'm drawing a picture for her in return.) The rest of my clothes cost the same as hers and my dad's.
When I told my friends online about this, they all went, "Nooo, she must have it wrong, you're not selfish or a bad person at all." I think the reason that I seem horrible to my mum in real life is cause I direct most of my positive energy toward my friends online and at school (most of the time). It sounds silly, but there was a time (and I still do) that I believed H.E. (My bestestest friend and crack RP buddy, wh00t! :DD) prevented me from getting depressed. And it was true, in a sense. Anyway, because I direct all of these "good vibes" toward my online friends and my real life friends, all of the negative energy gets directed toward my family. (Hey, it has to go somewhere.) So, in short, nice to friends = mean to family.
But that doesn't mean I couldn't be a bit nicer, like waking up tomorrow morning at 7:55 just to make breakfast for my mom and my little brother. In fact, I was okanning to do that, but I think I'd fall asleep at the stove. No matter, I'm going to try. The thing about this is, I have no motivation to actually wash the dishes or do chores since I grew up not having to do any of this stuff. Not even money can sway me, which really sucks because my mom will get even madder at me for not doing any work around the house. :P
Not to get completely off-topic here, but does anyone remember when I went berserk over the whole Zaxior thing? I know Trinity (Sawk) does, and probably Gato too.
Anyway, it was when I let Trinity play on my neopets account. She transferred Zaxior (my draik, who I luffed very much <3) to her neopets account, which she then transferred to her friend's account. I was fine with this, cause I still had possession and rights over Zaxior. Now, things were fine for a while, but then one day after coming home from art, she tells me she has bad news and told me that her friend sold Zaxior for a large sum of NP to a stranger. She tried to cheer me up by telling me that the new owner was a good RPer, but I pretty much went berserk over it and ranted about it in my LJ a few times, plus neomailed the new owner about it. I never got a response. I'm almost completely over it now, but I can never get completely over anything.
Now, I was a good citizen of Neopia. In the old days with the plain text forums and stuff (a year before avatars were even released and the forums got an overhaul) I hung out at the Fan Clubs forum, being a GCer (General Chat) before that. I was pretty wealthy (200k.. well, maybe I wasn't THAT well off) back then and I used to throw out random gifts to people if I saw something I could afford on their profile thingy.. I remember giving out an angel chia plushie and a white weewoo, and probably a lot of other stuff too that I can't remember right now.
Giving away so much stuff, I think it was a bit unfair to have my draik sold without my permission. Of course, they could say that the draik was rightfully theirs cause it was on their account, blah, blah, blah. But I did get rights to Zaxior even if it was transferred to another account, and that made me get really depressed/obsessive when I heard the news. I do like giving away gifts, but when it comes to the one thing that meant most to me on the whole site, I don't think I could ever give it up. Same with my possessions in real life, such as my beloved Pikachu doll which my dad bought for me in 1st grade, (7 years old now!) and also my Legend of the Tale.
Does that make me a selfish person? I really don't know. I think I completely got off the thing I was talking about before, and now I can't remember what I was talking about at all. It's fun to ramble though, so yay :P
I think it is a bit unfair to call me selfish after giving away so much stuff on Neopets, and also helping people on many MMORPGs I have played, may it be helping a couple on RO get another diamond ring so they can marry, or pointing someone in the right direction on MS. But maybe I am being selfish by ranting so much about this and trying to change other peoples' minds, when I should really be doing unselfish deeds in real life as well as online.
This is completely off topic, but whatever. If I was a homunculus, which of the 7 sins do you think I would be? I think I would be a little bit of everything, with a layer of niceness to cover it all up.
Any thoughts? Comments? Opinions?
(This was a REALLY long entry
Okay, this is regarding to the thing I was so ranty over a few hours ago, got over, got back into, and now typing about again.
My mom calls me a bad person for wanting so many things, but this is compared to the Chinese population. What about compared to the majority of the U.S.? The white people? Academically in my grade level compared to them I'm an overachiever, but my posessions compared to them are simply middle-class.
And also, some of my things compared to other Chinese in the area are small as well. For example: I used to take Chinese school here, got really bored and dropped out, started taking it again, then dropped out again. The second time I took it back up, all of the 6th graders (I'm a 7th grader, but you should all know that) had cell phones. I think even some of the 5th graders had one, and I was pretty much the only one in my class, excluding Jessie, who didn't have a cellphone. When I asked .. Felicia I think? why she had a cell phone, she said, "Because we're 6th graders, duh?"
I still don't have a cell phone of my own. We have a T-mobile cell phone, but that's a family cell phone and we all share it. Almost all of the people here at PPMS have their own cell phone too, so I'm kinda left out. Which sucks.
Okay, I admit it, I can be pretty selfish sometimes. When my brother gets something, I always take up the chance to whine for a new manga so I can catch up on Chrno Crusade or FMA or Furuba or Alice 19th. :P But compared to the other people I associate with, I don't get very many new things at all. Take a look at the Abercrombie or Aeropostale clothing that almost everyone wears; the t-shirts alone are probably at least $20 apiece. Most of my clothes only cost around $5-$10, the only expensive t-shirts I have are my FMA and Fruits Basket t-shirts. (I have 2 from Hot Topic, $18 or so each.) My mom was talking about how expensive my clothes were (when I got a verbal beating tonight, hehe) and how many t-shirts she could buy for $20, when in actuality I only have 2 t-shirts that I bought for that price. (The newer FMA t-shirt I have Justine bought for me at Megacon; I'm drawing a picture for her in return.) The rest of my clothes cost the same as hers and my dad's.
When I told my friends online about this, they all went, "Nooo, she must have it wrong, you're not selfish or a bad person at all." I think the reason that I seem horrible to my mum in real life is cause I direct most of my positive energy toward my friends online and at school (most of the time). It sounds silly, but there was a time (and I still do) that I believed H.E. (My bestestest friend and crack RP buddy, wh00t! :DD) prevented me from getting depressed. And it was true, in a sense. Anyway, because I direct all of these "good vibes" toward my online friends and my real life friends, all of the negative energy gets directed toward my family. (Hey, it has to go somewhere.) So, in short, nice to friends = mean to family.
But that doesn't mean I couldn't be a bit nicer, like waking up tomorrow morning at 7:55 just to make breakfast for my mom and my little brother. In fact, I was okanning to do that, but I think I'd fall asleep at the stove. No matter, I'm going to try. The thing about this is, I have no motivation to actually wash the dishes or do chores since I grew up not having to do any of this stuff. Not even money can sway me, which really sucks because my mom will get even madder at me for not doing any work around the house. :P
Not to get completely off-topic here, but does anyone remember when I went berserk over the whole Zaxior thing? I know Trinity (Sawk) does, and probably Gato too.
Anyway, it was when I let Trinity play on my neopets account. She transferred Zaxior (my draik, who I luffed very much <3) to her neopets account, which she then transferred to her friend's account. I was fine with this, cause I still had possession and rights over Zaxior. Now, things were fine for a while, but then one day after coming home from art, she tells me she has bad news and told me that her friend sold Zaxior for a large sum of NP to a stranger. She tried to cheer me up by telling me that the new owner was a good RPer, but I pretty much went berserk over it and ranted about it in my LJ a few times, plus neomailed the new owner about it. I never got a response. I'm almost completely over it now, but I can never get completely over anything.
Now, I was a good citizen of Neopia. In the old days with the plain text forums and stuff (a year before avatars were even released and the forums got an overhaul) I hung out at the Fan Clubs forum, being a GCer (General Chat) before that. I was pretty wealthy (200k.. well, maybe I wasn't THAT well off) back then and I used to throw out random gifts to people if I saw something I could afford on their profile thingy.. I remember giving out an angel chia plushie and a white weewoo, and probably a lot of other stuff too that I can't remember right now.
Giving away so much stuff, I think it was a bit unfair to have my draik sold without my permission. Of course, they could say that the draik was rightfully theirs cause it was on their account, blah, blah, blah. But I did get rights to Zaxior even if it was transferred to another account, and that made me get really depressed/obsessive when I heard the news. I do like giving away gifts, but when it comes to the one thing that meant most to me on the whole site, I don't think I could ever give it up. Same with my possessions in real life, such as my beloved Pikachu doll which my dad bought for me in 1st grade, (7 years old now!) and also my Legend of the Tale.
Does that make me a selfish person? I really don't know. I think I completely got off the thing I was talking about before, and now I can't remember what I was talking about at all. It's fun to ramble though, so yay :P
I think it is a bit unfair to call me selfish after giving away so much stuff on Neopets, and also helping people on many MMORPGs I have played, may it be helping a couple on RO get another diamond ring so they can marry, or pointing someone in the right direction on MS. But maybe I am being selfish by ranting so much about this and trying to change other peoples' minds, when I should really be doing unselfish deeds in real life as well as online.
This is completely off topic, but whatever. If I was a homunculus, which of the 7 sins do you think I would be? I think I would be a little bit of everything, with a layer of niceness to cover it all up.
Any thoughts? Comments? Opinions?
(This was a REALLY long entry