the sunday when stuff happened (supanova sydney) / art: where are they now
Thanks so much to everyone who left love on my Saturday post and I apologise for lack of replies but it's wonderful to know that you appreciated me taking one for the team with all the armpit sniffing and hugging. For the love of Camelot. I promise to reply very soon with lots of squealing and bouncing around the comment box like a confused hamster fresh off the wheel.
Before I move to a recap of Sunday though, I thought: ...Saturday's exclusive Excalibur panel. Perhaps I could hose the residue from the walls of my memory palace and push it through the sieve of my brain, and TA DA! What do you know, I must have actually been there because these things happened.
We walked out of the Camelot Beef Sandwich photo op just as four plates of food were being carted toward the booths, quite obviously bound for the knights. Very adorable burger things with a skewer through them but sadly no flag on top, I mean come on I would have done a flag like Burgerlot! surrounded by a salad moat. You know, in case you were interested. In stuff. Like that. Ahem.
[There was stuff. They said things. Events happened.]We hightailed it to the panel but sadly by the time we got there, the only seats we found were a fair way away from the front. The boys must have scarfed down their lunch because we only waited around fifteen minutes and in came Bradley and Tom, walking into a trap roomful of 200 screaming people in various states of fandom meltdown, hot on the trail of the announcer's voice booming, "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, your king!"
They were barely seated and still recovering from the first round of camera flash retinal burns when Rupert and Eoin walked in largely unnoticed, until about halfway up the aisle when Rupert squeed out, "OH MY GOD, IT'S BRADLEY!" in a fantastic fanboy imitation, which completely cracked up the entire room, broke the ice and made everyone sit a little easier. I AM TELLING YOU. IT'S NOT RUPES, IT'S LEYON, THE ACTUAL STAR OF MERLIN.
I do recall some of the questions and answers, though the sequence might not be actually sequential. I haven't heard any recordings of the panel but would love to - please let me know if you're aware of any because I was quite literally still dazed and I'm sure I missed more than half of it. vileseagulls did a little tweeting, but my phone was almost dead and I couldn't even do that. I did try to take some photos, but as mentioned in the previous post, the best I could get was Bradley being a Jawa (thanks nympha_alba for that apt description). Please forgive me if the phrasing of the questions isn't quite right and correct me if I have anything wrong!
There were quite a few comments which started out with a cringeworthy "...and may I just say that you're all looking very hot...* NO. NO YOU MAY NOT. SIT THE FUCK DOWN. Every time it happened, the whole room cringed, and yet, they kept coming up with all the ways in which to make everyone feel uncomfortable and a bit soiled. When nu_breed's turn came, she began with, "I have a question which does not begin with objectification of Bradley's body," to which Bradley responded with a cute salute and said, "Cheers,", and all the knights nodded. Most of the room gave a clap as well- I think we were all looking forward to some decent questions and I think that she managed to singlehandedly cut through the crap because the bullshit pretty much stopped after that. It was so clear that they were over those kinds of comments. She asked if Bradley had ever played Arthur with the subtext of knowing about Merlin's magic, to which Bradley replied that no, it was always made very, very clear that Arthur did not know, and this is why he was continually being conveniently knocked unconscious, so that "things" could happen while his eyes were closed. He was adamant that at no point was there "Arthur knows" subtext, at least not intentionally in his own performance.
Someone asked all their thoughts on social media, and Bradley answered, "Twitter has great power ...and with great power comes great responsibility." It was a joke, but I got the distinct impression that he takes it very seriously. His answer was more or less about feeling that he could never make everyone happy because someone would always feel left out. He couldn't retweet everything that people wanted him to, and if he favoured one person, others would be upset and not being favoured with an RT. He said that he preferred to use it very little because he couldn't give everyone equal attention.
Eoin said he really liked Twitter and thought it was a great way of interacting with fans. He commented that he wished more focus was given to things that mattered though. He said links to worthwhile causes and current affairs were often completely ignored, but look out if there was anything with cute animals in it, there'd be a million RTs of ridiculous fluff. Rupert chimed in that obviously Eoin should always tweet those important things with a picture of small animals attached to them to ensure they got visibility. There was laughter, but seriously, ain't it just true. Makes me a little sad at how jaded they must feel by these sorts of interactions.
Someone asked Bradley if he ever wished his character to be written differently, to which he replied that he sometimes wished that Arthur's character didn't have to be dumbed down in order for other characters to be built up. He explained that this was clear in the moments of self-doubt which Arthur experienced again and again, when he didn't need to. Bradley gave this example: that once Arthur worked through his initial doubts about being a good king, those doubts didn't need to be raised again, because Arthur had worked through them and there was no need to relive that angst, he should have moved on. He felt that his character was often unnecessarily made less by the need to make other characters more. I got the distinct feeling he was quite done holding back his real feelings about the way Arthur had been written.
I can't remember what question brought on the horse story, but Rupert told one where his horse was absent from set one day and he was told she'd had a foal - he'd had no idea the horse had been pregnant. The boys had a bit of a laugh about his obliviousness, which spawned the "some people don't have to imagine what it feels like to have Rupert sat on them while they're pregnant" joke from the second panel, in case you guys saw that and were wondering what it was all about.
I remember Eoin made a comment about horses not doing what they're told very often, and Rupert said "...neither does Eoin."
They were asked what each of them would be doing, if they weren't acting, and Tom might have answered something along the lines of mechanics?? I can't even remember properly, but it was obviously tongue-in-cheek assembly line aircraft mechanic or something. ETA: It was actually Rupert being a smartarse about being an aircraft mechanic or engineer or working in a shop, I think. Tom's answer was: RUGBY PLAYER! He loves Rugby, he said, and would love to play it, and then he sort of trailed off and Rupert chimed in with: "But he couldn't play because he's not big enough," and the room cracked up.
Bradley honestly seemed perplexed with this one - he didn't have a ready answer. Rupert suggested football, and Bradley said no, because he likes it as a hobby, but he wouldn't do it for a job. He said he'd always wanted to act, and there was nothing else he'd be doing. There was possibly something mentioned here about not being able to take art and drama at the same time at the school he attended, or else he might also have gone into the arts as well. (from vileseagulls, who remembers this part: "...the thing about school was Bradley couldn't take PE and drama at the same time, so he didn't take drama." - THANK YOU BB!)
EOIN BROKE ME BECAUSE HIS ANSWER WAS: ARTIST. Even the boys seemed surprised by this. He said he'd be an artist but he never really pursued it, though he loved it. He mentioned that he wishes he had more time for art. I WANTED TO CRYYYY AND ALSO WRITE ARTIST!GWAINE FIC FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AMEN because he sounded so wistful about it, my hands were just itching to gather him up into my bosom and soothe his ...hurt. Erm.
A young boy got to ask a question about what advice they might have for him, as he was hoping to get into performing arts. ALL OF THEM WERE SO BRILLIANT HERE. Bradley said not to ever give up, even when it seemed too hard. He said that he never learned so much as the day he made a complete fool of himself in front of the entire school. Eoin said that his advice would reflect what Georgio says on the Daft Punk / Moroder track from the new album, Random Access Memories - he referred to it as that brilliant track number 3 - and said that Georgio's account of how he got started in music was fantastic because that's "really good advice on how to go for your dreams". He was very animated when talking about it, we could tell he found it very inspirational.
Someone asked Bradley if he thought Arthur really had to die at the end of S5, and Bradley replied that yes he did. He compared Arthur to Churchill, saying they were both heroes of war, and that once the war was over, they were no longer needed. He said that Arthur was a relic of war and of the past, and as such, he'd have been resented by the new order once Camelot was at peace. He said that it was right for Arthur to die and signal the end of the era of war so that the new era could be heralded in and Camelot could achieve the golden age. Or something. This was so profound, my little chicken brain couldn't really handle it.
The panel ended with another cringe-worthy moment when a guy dressed in a red blazer and donning a classy plastic gold crown insisted that we should all send the boys off with the epic headdesk moment cry of "FOR THE LOVE OF CAMELOT" and having lived through THAT, we just slumped in our chairs until the room was almost clear, recovering from all the fucking awesome awesomeness, but also really aware of the hunger and exhaustion and emotional diarrhea settling in now that the extreme knight close-ups were over and there was no more need for the rivers of adrenalin we'd been producing leading up to these events. The come-down. She is not pretty.
The three of us somehow made it home through the torrential rain in order to curl up on the fangirl commune couch with hot chips and mulled cider skillfully prepared by the delightful vileseagulls, capping the day off with our favourite Merlin fanvids and a rewatch of a couple of episodes, including the trolllllllolololol omg, I LOVE THE TROLL. And I just have to link to this, which I was not aware of beforehand, but which is now on high rotation here at the mangroves.
Vid brought to you courtesy of extreme Eoin/Gwaine feelings, the source of which I shall tell you about, oh yes I shall, whether you like it or not, SIT THE FUCK DOWN OKAY.
SO. We slept in a bit on Sunday and I freely admit this may have been the first time in years for me. I'm not much of a sleeper-innerer, being much more the arse-crack-of-dawnerer. And also a sleep-when-I'm-deaderer. Basically I don't. Sleep. Much. So it was amazing that I slept so well on a couch so far from home. *inspects photos for evidence of knights using sleeper hold to subdue sniffing fangirls*
We made it to the Expo just in time really, the autograph lines were starting to fill up and the boys weren't even due to appear for another forty minutes or so. Bradley's was the longest so we thought it best to get straight in there, knowing the wait for him would be the longest. We met some amazing people in these lines, some I knew from around these parts, like the delightful bradleyjfan, whom we bumped into several times over the course of the weekend. HOLLA LADY, respect for your hardcore Bradley love \o/\o/\o/ and it was fantastic to finally meet you!
So we're standing in line and Y says; hey, it's ok, we don't have to get so close to them today so it won't be so bad with the nerves, we have The Table Of Sanity between us to keep us ...sane! So we're like YEAH THAT WILL TOTALLY WORK and just kind of chatting to someone who's also helping (wo)man a stall, and she's getting Bradley's autograph for a friend of hers, but she's also holding this cute little diary, and her fingers are sporting the kind of callus that is like an artist beacon, so I ask her about her art, and sure enough, she's made these fabulous Alan Tudyk portraits which he has signed for her, right in the diary, and she's explaining that this way he's signed something for her which nobody else has, and I'm like hey yeah. I totally get that. Ah. Erm .................. >.> ........
And then suddenly there's this HUM and a crowd all turning in tandem like little sunflowers to the sun, and HE IS THERE, BRADLEY IS THERE being escorted to his seat at the front of the line and I swear to god my hands are shaking as I fucking type this, OH GOD.
The line moved fairly quickly and we were once more in the front section of it, courtesy of the magic passes of awesomeness. The chanting of TABLE OF SANITY TABLE OF SANITY SEPARATES US FROM BRADLEY TABLE OF SANITY EVERYTHING IS FINE FIIINE TABLE OF FUCKING SANITY, BUT IT'S NOT WORKING PEOPLE, GUTS ARE STILL FALLING THROUGH THE FLOOR AND WHY DOES HE HAVE TO FUCKING SHINE LIKE THAT WHYYYY AREN'T YOU WORKING TABLE OF SANITY *WHIMPERING GOO*
The muggle line's huge though, so the staffers are letting a few VIPs through, and then a couple from the normal lines as well, so they don't have to wait HOURS, which is fair enough and all, but it means that at some point I was separated from Y and F. I saw the girls get their DVD box set signed and kind of heard them chatting to Bradley but I'm too far away to hear anything because we're separated by a person who'd purchased this Victory Over Sorcery poster to have Bradley sign it, and then she's there in front of him and he's loving the poster, gets up off his chair to show the boys and this little bit is a blur because Bradley's arse as he walks away is basically crickets in my brain.
And then she's gone, and it's my turn, and I put my thing on the table, my thing which I had agonised about doing at all, and then spent so much time on and had internal wars about taking to Sydney with me and my hands are SHAKING and I mean they are ShAkInG.
Part 1 of 4, Where Are They Now, "Until Albion's Need Is Greatest"
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He looks at it and looks at it and I want to die. Then he looks up at me with eyes so big and blue they're anime, and he says, "Did you do this?"
And I nod.
And he looks down again, and then up again, and says,"You made this."
And I squeak,"Yes," and hope like fuck that at some point I remember how to speak again because I shouldn't even be capable of this level of ridiculous at my age, oh my god, I'm such a twat.
"Wow," he says and kind of shakes his head, and reaches into his pocket for his camera or phone or something, so I wave him off and he looks a bit perplexed like I'm not going to let him take a photo, but I tell him, "Oh no, it's just that I have one for you, if you would like."
And he looks me in the eye and says, "I would love one, thank you very much," HE IS SO POLITE. I MEAN, SUPER, SUPER WELL SPOKEN AND POLITE AND THE DICTION KILLED ME, HIS CRISP ENGLISH KILLED ME DEAD. So I hand over the envelope to the helper who's at his elbow, and he signs my print with this lovely message, and as he's signing it, he says, "I have to tell you that this might end up at my mum's house. Is that okay? She has a collection." AND THEN I DIED BECAUSE HE THINKS IT'S WORTHY OF GOING TO HIS MOTHER'S HOUSE AND IF I WAS SHAKING ANY MORE I WOULD BE CONVULSING, BY GRABTHAR'S HAMMER SEND HELP
I swear to God, the way he looks at you, it's like he sees ONLY YOU. Like there aren't hundreds of people waiting for his attention, for one word, one glance. He focuses on you so completely with that ludicrous face that it's literally like being a deer caught in Bradley lights. I walked away from there wobbling like a big wobbly thing with my brain sputtering and backfiring. I may have jumped up and down and screamed but I can neither confirm nor deny as I was possibly dead.
We immediately lined up again in the next aisle for Rupert, and once again I watched the girls chat to him and have their DVDs signed, and then when my turn came around, I gave the helper my print for him to sign.
Part 2 of 4, Where Are They Now, "The Queen's Knight"
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He looks at it, and says,
"Wow, that's amazing! Are you an artist?"
And I say, "Yes," because at this point I'm feeling like one, and also who wants to bore Rupert Young with, "No, I'm really a paper pusher but I have a dream."
But he's so lovely, says he loves it, and asks me to tell him about the meaning of the detail, so I explain that this is a portrait of post-finale Leon, wearing the Queen's favour, because the series so obviously ended with him being the Queen's Knight, and he smiles so big, SO BIG, and nods like that's EXACTLY RIGHT, and in the moment it took for him to sign my print all the Gwen/Leon fic wrote itself in my head, complete with gorgeous curly-haired babies BECAUSE CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE, SWEET BABY LAMBS MY HEARRRTTT. So he goes for his phone, and I tell him I have one for him if he would like, and he looked so genuinely thrilled that I honest to god clenched deep in my soul, because HE IS MY KIND OF PERFECT AND SPEAKS TO ME ON A DEEPLY EMOTIONAL LEVEL. He was so gracious and wonderful, and I didn't want to walk away from THE WARMTH. He is AMAZING.
Once more we lined up, for Eoin this time, and by then I've learned to use the presence of nu_breed and vileseagulls in front of me as some sort of emotional anchor for my feels, so when I finally get to the front and it's my turn, I'm lulled into a false sense of security by the fact that I've already seen Bradley and LEYON, who have THE EFFECT on me, so this will be okay, right? RIGHT? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Because Eoin looks at the thing I've given him to sign, and just rests his face in his hand and scratches at his beard and says, "Oh my god."
And seriously, I know it sounds like I'm sucking my own dick and I'm really sorry, but I just want to record this for me, so that I never forget how amazing it felt to stand in front of these people who've been such a huge inspiration to me, whose faces I've drawn again and again, and to have them seem to like the things I've made, and think that they're good. I really, really apologise for making anyone cringe with this, I just ...I have to share this. They're just amazing moments. I hope you can forgive me.
Part 3 of 4, Where Are They Now, "The Big Tavern In The Sky"
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So Eoin asks,"Did you draw this? It's charcoal, right?" And my face must have just lit up, because then HIS lights up, and he's smiling at me with his whole face and we have this whole conversation where he once more recalls wanting to be an artist, and says that he loves the way I've drawn it, and that he'd love to do art again but it takes so long, it takes time, and he just doesn't have time or the patience (I'm honestly not sure if he was saying he didn't have time for art school, or if creating art takes a long time, though I suppose both are true). MY HEART. I could literally feel it swelling with all the things, and I couldn't speak, So I just listened to him tell me these things while he signed my print, and hoped that the look on my face was telling him all the things that I couldn't, and wishing only that there wasn't a huge line of people lined up behind me so I could sit in his lap and demand he TELL ME EVERYTHING while I rub soothing circles on his Smurf back.
Honestly, I was completely unprepared for him and his reaction, and then he did the SAME THING and went to take a picture of my print, and I handed him an envelope. It's like he didn't believe me - he reached in and took it out of the envelope and I had to say, "Watch out or it's black fingers for the rest of the day," and he totally Doubting Thomas'd it, touching it ever so lightly in the corner while he stared at it. I got the distinct feeling that if I'd pulled a piece of charcoal out of my pocket at that moment, he'd have started doodling with it. OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
He shows it to Tom, who's sitting a few feet away at the head of his own autograph line, and they both look at it and look at me, and then Eoin finally says,
"Thank you so much for this, it's genuinely fantastic to get something like this. I can't believe you did this," so I think ...what? You can't believe that? Are you for real? Any idea how many people LOVE AND ADORE YOU??!
So I leaned in and just sort of quietly said that it's to say thanks for all the awesomeness, and the smile he gave me could power Sydney's brothels for a week. He STANDS UP AND GOES TO HUG ME ACROSS THE TABLE OF SANITY, AND FUCK ME, IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING FEELING IN THE WORLD TO HAVE EARNED ONE OF THOSE. He hugged me hard, and I hugged him harder, and thought FUCK IT, this is my moment, and I totally bussed a kiss on his stubbly cheek, which is a lot softer than it looks, but still very, very pleasantly rough, and the scent of him is very masculine, hours-old cologne, just a hint of it, and there was the lightest tang of manliness to him, not sweat exactly, but just ...skin. I'm quietly amazed that I wasn't carried out on a stretcher. He is DIVINE and humble and just GORGEOUS and when he points that smile at you, your legs just sort of slide apart a little bit, dear god.
So then it was time to line up in Tom's autograph line, and we stood at the back of the line as it slowly moved forward, just literally bouncing, because the girls had their own awesome conversations to share and we just wanted to scream in each other's faces and completely lose it. When their turn came, Tom was so wonderful, giving them lots of time, talking about New Zealand and DEMONSTRATING THE HAKA AND CAN I JUST SAY: STANDING FOUR FEET AWAY FROM TOM HOPPER WITH HIS ENTIRE TONGUE LITERALLY OUT OF HIS MOUTH. I CAN'T. I JUST CAN'T.
Part 4 of 4, Where Are They Now, "Honouring The Fallen"
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He was ready for me with my print, and looked at it for a while, and said, "Wow, it's fantastic! I saw Eoin's," and he sort of turned and pointed up the line to where the other three boys were sitting, Eoin next to him, then Rupert, and Bradley the furthest away.
So I said, "Yes, I made one for each of you, they're a series, "Where Are They Now", post finale. So here's Percy's red armband, because he's honouring his fallen mates," and it wan't until then that I realised I didn't tell any of this to the others because I was so overwhelmed at the time, and not even thinking, just white-noise in my head. So then I explained the significance of all the symbols, about Leon being the Queen's Knight, and Arthur at the Avalon waiting room, and Gwaine being in the big tavern in the sky with all the apples, which he had a giggle about, hoping that perhaps if it ever came up between them, at least Tom would know what I tried to do. And, God, he just looked at it while I was explaining and I thought, he's not really listening, it's cool, I think he likes it, it's fine, and by then I was ready when he went for the camera, so I just held the envelope out to stop him, and he takes it while I explain that there's one in there for him. And he says, "There's one of these in here? For me?" And I say, "Yeah, it's the original," And he says, "The Original?!" like that's something amazing, and then I realised I didn't tell the others THAT either, because I'm basically a total starstruck idiot, but whatever.
He looked up with the biggest smile on his face and started telling me that it's coming to his house, where he's redecorating, and he's going to put it up on his wall. I laughed, thinking, OH YOU ARE SMOOOOOOTH, and said "I'll be thrilled if it makes it as far as the hotel room." He looked at me and shook his head and said, "Shut up, I'm serious! It's going on the wall," and then i think I may have left my body for a moment.
When we walked away, we were completely emotionally raw, I swear to god. All of them had been so gracious and generous with their time, I can't even express the joy of meeting them and finding out just how genuinely lovely they are. We went off to sit and decompress, and then it was time for the final panel which was open to all the fans. I'm pretty sure there's other sources, but the amazing nu_breed managed to get a few recordings from the panel (before we were told we had to stop) so here's one linked from her Tumblr - I know there are a couple of others on there too and also amazing photos taken by the fabulous vileseagulls but I'm honestly too tired to find them right now (eta: THANK YOU nu_breed for THIS LINK TO THE VIDS). I tweeted almost every Q&A from the panel, so I won't bother recounting it here, unless someone specifically wants that - let me know. My phone died literally after the last question, and I think I died with it. didn't want to go home. I'm still not ready to go home and I've been back for two days.
I'll put the art up on the other places a bit later. For now I'm just going to pass out. Thank you for letting me recount these amazing moments here. Special thanks to amphigoury for the Beta on these, and to those amazing people who encouraged me with the drawings. I love you asya_ana and sapphirescribe and magnolia822 and nu_breed and vileseagulls. I love everything. /THUD.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
ETA: Temporarily flocked for Eoin's granny reasons.
Before I move to a recap of Sunday though, I thought: ...Saturday's exclusive Excalibur panel. Perhaps I could hose the residue from the walls of my memory palace and push it through the sieve of my brain, and TA DA! What do you know, I must have actually been there because these things happened.
We walked out of the Camelot Beef Sandwich photo op just as four plates of food were being carted toward the booths, quite obviously bound for the knights. Very adorable burger things with a skewer through them but sadly no flag on top, I mean come on I would have done a flag like Burgerlot! surrounded by a salad moat. You know, in case you were interested. In stuff. Like that. Ahem.
[There was stuff. They said things. Events happened.]We hightailed it to the panel but sadly by the time we got there, the only seats we found were a fair way away from the front. The boys must have scarfed down their lunch because we only waited around fifteen minutes and in came Bradley and Tom, walking into a trap roomful of 200 screaming people in various states of fandom meltdown, hot on the trail of the announcer's voice booming, "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, your king!"
They were barely seated and still recovering from the first round of camera flash retinal burns when Rupert and Eoin walked in largely unnoticed, until about halfway up the aisle when Rupert squeed out, "OH MY GOD, IT'S BRADLEY!" in a fantastic fanboy imitation, which completely cracked up the entire room, broke the ice and made everyone sit a little easier. I AM TELLING YOU. IT'S NOT RUPES, IT'S LEYON, THE ACTUAL STAR OF MERLIN.
I do recall some of the questions and answers, though the sequence might not be actually sequential. I haven't heard any recordings of the panel but would love to - please let me know if you're aware of any because I was quite literally still dazed and I'm sure I missed more than half of it. vileseagulls did a little tweeting, but my phone was almost dead and I couldn't even do that. I did try to take some photos, but as mentioned in the previous post, the best I could get was Bradley being a Jawa (thanks nympha_alba for that apt description). Please forgive me if the phrasing of the questions isn't quite right and correct me if I have anything wrong!
There were quite a few comments which started out with a cringeworthy "...and may I just say that you're all looking very hot...* NO. NO YOU MAY NOT. SIT THE FUCK DOWN. Every time it happened, the whole room cringed, and yet, they kept coming up with all the ways in which to make everyone feel uncomfortable and a bit soiled. When nu_breed's turn came, she began with, "I have a question which does not begin with objectification of Bradley's body," to which Bradley responded with a cute salute and said, "Cheers,", and all the knights nodded. Most of the room gave a clap as well- I think we were all looking forward to some decent questions and I think that she managed to singlehandedly cut through the crap because the bullshit pretty much stopped after that. It was so clear that they were over those kinds of comments. She asked if Bradley had ever played Arthur with the subtext of knowing about Merlin's magic, to which Bradley replied that no, it was always made very, very clear that Arthur did not know, and this is why he was continually being conveniently knocked unconscious, so that "things" could happen while his eyes were closed. He was adamant that at no point was there "Arthur knows" subtext, at least not intentionally in his own performance.
Someone asked all their thoughts on social media, and Bradley answered, "Twitter has great power ...and with great power comes great responsibility." It was a joke, but I got the distinct impression that he takes it very seriously. His answer was more or less about feeling that he could never make everyone happy because someone would always feel left out. He couldn't retweet everything that people wanted him to, and if he favoured one person, others would be upset and not being favoured with an RT. He said that he preferred to use it very little because he couldn't give everyone equal attention.
Eoin said he really liked Twitter and thought it was a great way of interacting with fans. He commented that he wished more focus was given to things that mattered though. He said links to worthwhile causes and current affairs were often completely ignored, but look out if there was anything with cute animals in it, there'd be a million RTs of ridiculous fluff. Rupert chimed in that obviously Eoin should always tweet those important things with a picture of small animals attached to them to ensure they got visibility. There was laughter, but seriously, ain't it just true. Makes me a little sad at how jaded they must feel by these sorts of interactions.
Someone asked Bradley if he ever wished his character to be written differently, to which he replied that he sometimes wished that Arthur's character didn't have to be dumbed down in order for other characters to be built up. He explained that this was clear in the moments of self-doubt which Arthur experienced again and again, when he didn't need to. Bradley gave this example: that once Arthur worked through his initial doubts about being a good king, those doubts didn't need to be raised again, because Arthur had worked through them and there was no need to relive that angst, he should have moved on. He felt that his character was often unnecessarily made less by the need to make other characters more. I got the distinct feeling he was quite done holding back his real feelings about the way Arthur had been written.
I can't remember what question brought on the horse story, but Rupert told one where his horse was absent from set one day and he was told she'd had a foal - he'd had no idea the horse had been pregnant. The boys had a bit of a laugh about his obliviousness, which spawned the "some people don't have to imagine what it feels like to have Rupert sat on them while they're pregnant" joke from the second panel, in case you guys saw that and were wondering what it was all about.
I remember Eoin made a comment about horses not doing what they're told very often, and Rupert said "...neither does Eoin."
They were asked what each of them would be doing, if they weren't acting, and Tom might have answered something along the lines of mechanics?? I can't even remember properly, but it was obviously tongue-in-cheek assembly line aircraft mechanic or something. ETA: It was actually Rupert being a smartarse about being an aircraft mechanic or engineer or working in a shop, I think. Tom's answer was: RUGBY PLAYER! He loves Rugby, he said, and would love to play it, and then he sort of trailed off and Rupert chimed in with: "But he couldn't play because he's not big enough," and the room cracked up.
Bradley honestly seemed perplexed with this one - he didn't have a ready answer. Rupert suggested football, and Bradley said no, because he likes it as a hobby, but he wouldn't do it for a job. He said he'd always wanted to act, and there was nothing else he'd be doing. There was possibly something mentioned here about not being able to take art and drama at the same time at the school he attended, or else he might also have gone into the arts as well. (from vileseagulls, who remembers this part: "...the thing about school was Bradley couldn't take PE and drama at the same time, so he didn't take drama." - THANK YOU BB!)
EOIN BROKE ME BECAUSE HIS ANSWER WAS: ARTIST. Even the boys seemed surprised by this. He said he'd be an artist but he never really pursued it, though he loved it. He mentioned that he wishes he had more time for art. I WANTED TO CRYYYY AND ALSO WRITE ARTIST!GWAINE FIC FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AMEN because he sounded so wistful about it, my hands were just itching to gather him up into my bosom and soothe his ...hurt. Erm.
A young boy got to ask a question about what advice they might have for him, as he was hoping to get into performing arts. ALL OF THEM WERE SO BRILLIANT HERE. Bradley said not to ever give up, even when it seemed too hard. He said that he never learned so much as the day he made a complete fool of himself in front of the entire school. Eoin said that his advice would reflect what Georgio says on the Daft Punk / Moroder track from the new album, Random Access Memories - he referred to it as that brilliant track number 3 - and said that Georgio's account of how he got started in music was fantastic because that's "really good advice on how to go for your dreams". He was very animated when talking about it, we could tell he found it very inspirational.
Someone asked Bradley if he thought Arthur really had to die at the end of S5, and Bradley replied that yes he did. He compared Arthur to Churchill, saying they were both heroes of war, and that once the war was over, they were no longer needed. He said that Arthur was a relic of war and of the past, and as such, he'd have been resented by the new order once Camelot was at peace. He said that it was right for Arthur to die and signal the end of the era of war so that the new era could be heralded in and Camelot could achieve the golden age. Or something. This was so profound, my little chicken brain couldn't really handle it.
The panel ended with another cringe-worthy moment when a guy dressed in a red blazer and donning a classy plastic gold crown insisted that we should all send the boys off with the epic headdesk moment cry of "FOR THE LOVE OF CAMELOT" and having lived through THAT, we just slumped in our chairs until the room was almost clear, recovering from all the fucking awesome awesomeness, but also really aware of the hunger and exhaustion and emotional diarrhea settling in now that the extreme knight close-ups were over and there was no more need for the rivers of adrenalin we'd been producing leading up to these events. The come-down. She is not pretty.
The three of us somehow made it home through the torrential rain in order to curl up on the fangirl commune couch with hot chips and mulled cider skillfully prepared by the delightful vileseagulls, capping the day off with our favourite Merlin fanvids and a rewatch of a couple of episodes, including the trolllllllolololol omg, I LOVE THE TROLL. And I just have to link to this, which I was not aware of beforehand, but which is now on high rotation here at the mangroves.
Click to viewVid brought to you courtesy of extreme Eoin/Gwaine feelings, the source of which I shall tell you about, oh yes I shall, whether you like it or not, SIT THE FUCK DOWN OKAY.
SO. We slept in a bit on Sunday and I freely admit this may have been the first time in years for me. I'm not much of a sleeper-innerer, being much more the arse-crack-of-dawnerer. And also a sleep-when-I'm-deaderer. Basically I don't. Sleep. Much. So it was amazing that I slept so well on a couch so far from home. *inspects photos for evidence of knights using sleeper hold to subdue sniffing fangirls*
We made it to the Expo just in time really, the autograph lines were starting to fill up and the boys weren't even due to appear for another forty minutes or so. Bradley's was the longest so we thought it best to get straight in there, knowing the wait for him would be the longest. We met some amazing people in these lines, some I knew from around these parts, like the delightful bradleyjfan, whom we bumped into several times over the course of the weekend. HOLLA LADY, respect for your hardcore Bradley love \o/\o/\o/ and it was fantastic to finally meet you!
So we're standing in line and Y says; hey, it's ok, we don't have to get so close to them today so it won't be so bad with the nerves, we have The Table Of Sanity between us to keep us ...sane! So we're like YEAH THAT WILL TOTALLY WORK and just kind of chatting to someone who's also helping (wo)man a stall, and she's getting Bradley's autograph for a friend of hers, but she's also holding this cute little diary, and her fingers are sporting the kind of callus that is like an artist beacon, so I ask her about her art, and sure enough, she's made these fabulous Alan Tudyk portraits which he has signed for her, right in the diary, and she's explaining that this way he's signed something for her which nobody else has, and I'm like hey yeah. I totally get that. Ah. Erm .................. >.> ........
And then suddenly there's this HUM and a crowd all turning in tandem like little sunflowers to the sun, and HE IS THERE, BRADLEY IS THERE being escorted to his seat at the front of the line and I swear to god my hands are shaking as I fucking type this, OH GOD.
The line moved fairly quickly and we were once more in the front section of it, courtesy of the magic passes of awesomeness. The chanting of TABLE OF SANITY TABLE OF SANITY SEPARATES US FROM BRADLEY TABLE OF SANITY EVERYTHING IS FINE FIIINE TABLE OF FUCKING SANITY, BUT IT'S NOT WORKING PEOPLE, GUTS ARE STILL FALLING THROUGH THE FLOOR AND WHY DOES HE HAVE TO FUCKING SHINE LIKE THAT WHYYYY AREN'T YOU WORKING TABLE OF SANITY *WHIMPERING GOO*
The muggle line's huge though, so the staffers are letting a few VIPs through, and then a couple from the normal lines as well, so they don't have to wait HOURS, which is fair enough and all, but it means that at some point I was separated from Y and F. I saw the girls get their DVD box set signed and kind of heard them chatting to Bradley but I'm too far away to hear anything because we're separated by a person who'd purchased this Victory Over Sorcery poster to have Bradley sign it, and then she's there in front of him and he's loving the poster, gets up off his chair to show the boys and this little bit is a blur because Bradley's arse as he walks away is basically crickets in my brain.
And then she's gone, and it's my turn, and I put my thing on the table, my thing which I had agonised about doing at all, and then spent so much time on and had internal wars about taking to Sydney with me and my hands are SHAKING and I mean they are ShAkInG.
Part 1 of 4, Where Are They Now, "Until Albion's Need Is Greatest"
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He looks at it and looks at it and I want to die. Then he looks up at me with eyes so big and blue they're anime, and he says, "Did you do this?"
And I nod.
And he looks down again, and then up again, and says,"You made this."
And I squeak,"Yes," and hope like fuck that at some point I remember how to speak again because I shouldn't even be capable of this level of ridiculous at my age, oh my god, I'm such a twat.
"Wow," he says and kind of shakes his head, and reaches into his pocket for his camera or phone or something, so I wave him off and he looks a bit perplexed like I'm not going to let him take a photo, but I tell him, "Oh no, it's just that I have one for you, if you would like."
And he looks me in the eye and says, "I would love one, thank you very much," HE IS SO POLITE. I MEAN, SUPER, SUPER WELL SPOKEN AND POLITE AND THE DICTION KILLED ME, HIS CRISP ENGLISH KILLED ME DEAD. So I hand over the envelope to the helper who's at his elbow, and he signs my print with this lovely message, and as he's signing it, he says, "I have to tell you that this might end up at my mum's house. Is that okay? She has a collection." AND THEN I DIED BECAUSE HE THINKS IT'S WORTHY OF GOING TO HIS MOTHER'S HOUSE AND IF I WAS SHAKING ANY MORE I WOULD BE CONVULSING, BY GRABTHAR'S HAMMER SEND HELP
I swear to God, the way he looks at you, it's like he sees ONLY YOU. Like there aren't hundreds of people waiting for his attention, for one word, one glance. He focuses on you so completely with that ludicrous face that it's literally like being a deer caught in Bradley lights. I walked away from there wobbling like a big wobbly thing with my brain sputtering and backfiring. I may have jumped up and down and screamed but I can neither confirm nor deny as I was possibly dead.
We immediately lined up again in the next aisle for Rupert, and once again I watched the girls chat to him and have their DVDs signed, and then when my turn came around, I gave the helper my print for him to sign.
Part 2 of 4, Where Are They Now, "The Queen's Knight"
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He looks at it, and says,
"Wow, that's amazing! Are you an artist?"
And I say, "Yes," because at this point I'm feeling like one, and also who wants to bore Rupert Young with, "No, I'm really a paper pusher but I have a dream."
But he's so lovely, says he loves it, and asks me to tell him about the meaning of the detail, so I explain that this is a portrait of post-finale Leon, wearing the Queen's favour, because the series so obviously ended with him being the Queen's Knight, and he smiles so big, SO BIG, and nods like that's EXACTLY RIGHT, and in the moment it took for him to sign my print all the Gwen/Leon fic wrote itself in my head, complete with gorgeous curly-haired babies BECAUSE CAN YOU FUCKING IMAGINE, SWEET BABY LAMBS MY HEARRRTTT. So he goes for his phone, and I tell him I have one for him if he would like, and he looked so genuinely thrilled that I honest to god clenched deep in my soul, because HE IS MY KIND OF PERFECT AND SPEAKS TO ME ON A DEEPLY EMOTIONAL LEVEL. He was so gracious and wonderful, and I didn't want to walk away from THE WARMTH. He is AMAZING.
Once more we lined up, for Eoin this time, and by then I've learned to use the presence of nu_breed and vileseagulls in front of me as some sort of emotional anchor for my feels, so when I finally get to the front and it's my turn, I'm lulled into a false sense of security by the fact that I've already seen Bradley and LEYON, who have THE EFFECT on me, so this will be okay, right? RIGHT? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Because Eoin looks at the thing I've given him to sign, and just rests his face in his hand and scratches at his beard and says, "Oh my god."
And seriously, I know it sounds like I'm sucking my own dick and I'm really sorry, but I just want to record this for me, so that I never forget how amazing it felt to stand in front of these people who've been such a huge inspiration to me, whose faces I've drawn again and again, and to have them seem to like the things I've made, and think that they're good. I really, really apologise for making anyone cringe with this, I just ...I have to share this. They're just amazing moments. I hope you can forgive me.
Part 3 of 4, Where Are They Now, "The Big Tavern In The Sky"
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So Eoin asks,"Did you draw this? It's charcoal, right?" And my face must have just lit up, because then HIS lights up, and he's smiling at me with his whole face and we have this whole conversation where he once more recalls wanting to be an artist, and says that he loves the way I've drawn it, and that he'd love to do art again but it takes so long, it takes time, and he just doesn't have time or the patience (I'm honestly not sure if he was saying he didn't have time for art school, or if creating art takes a long time, though I suppose both are true). MY HEART. I could literally feel it swelling with all the things, and I couldn't speak, So I just listened to him tell me these things while he signed my print, and hoped that the look on my face was telling him all the things that I couldn't, and wishing only that there wasn't a huge line of people lined up behind me so I could sit in his lap and demand he TELL ME EVERYTHING while I rub soothing circles on his Smurf back.
Honestly, I was completely unprepared for him and his reaction, and then he did the SAME THING and went to take a picture of my print, and I handed him an envelope. It's like he didn't believe me - he reached in and took it out of the envelope and I had to say, "Watch out or it's black fingers for the rest of the day," and he totally Doubting Thomas'd it, touching it ever so lightly in the corner while he stared at it. I got the distinct feeling that if I'd pulled a piece of charcoal out of my pocket at that moment, he'd have started doodling with it. OH MY GOD YOU GUYS, OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT
He shows it to Tom, who's sitting a few feet away at the head of his own autograph line, and they both look at it and look at me, and then Eoin finally says,
"Thank you so much for this, it's genuinely fantastic to get something like this. I can't believe you did this," so I think ...what? You can't believe that? Are you for real? Any idea how many people LOVE AND ADORE YOU??!
So I leaned in and just sort of quietly said that it's to say thanks for all the awesomeness, and the smile he gave me could power Sydney's brothels for a week. He STANDS UP AND GOES TO HUG ME ACROSS THE TABLE OF SANITY, AND FUCK ME, IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING FEELING IN THE WORLD TO HAVE EARNED ONE OF THOSE. He hugged me hard, and I hugged him harder, and thought FUCK IT, this is my moment, and I totally bussed a kiss on his stubbly cheek, which is a lot softer than it looks, but still very, very pleasantly rough, and the scent of him is very masculine, hours-old cologne, just a hint of it, and there was the lightest tang of manliness to him, not sweat exactly, but just ...skin. I'm quietly amazed that I wasn't carried out on a stretcher. He is DIVINE and humble and just GORGEOUS and when he points that smile at you, your legs just sort of slide apart a little bit, dear god.
So then it was time to line up in Tom's autograph line, and we stood at the back of the line as it slowly moved forward, just literally bouncing, because the girls had their own awesome conversations to share and we just wanted to scream in each other's faces and completely lose it. When their turn came, Tom was so wonderful, giving them lots of time, talking about New Zealand and DEMONSTRATING THE HAKA AND CAN I JUST SAY: STANDING FOUR FEET AWAY FROM TOM HOPPER WITH HIS ENTIRE TONGUE LITERALLY OUT OF HIS MOUTH. I CAN'T. I JUST CAN'T.
Part 4 of 4, Where Are They Now, "Honouring The Fallen"
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He was ready for me with my print, and looked at it for a while, and said, "Wow, it's fantastic! I saw Eoin's," and he sort of turned and pointed up the line to where the other three boys were sitting, Eoin next to him, then Rupert, and Bradley the furthest away.
So I said, "Yes, I made one for each of you, they're a series, "Where Are They Now", post finale. So here's Percy's red armband, because he's honouring his fallen mates," and it wan't until then that I realised I didn't tell any of this to the others because I was so overwhelmed at the time, and not even thinking, just white-noise in my head. So then I explained the significance of all the symbols, about Leon being the Queen's Knight, and Arthur at the Avalon waiting room, and Gwaine being in the big tavern in the sky with all the apples, which he had a giggle about, hoping that perhaps if it ever came up between them, at least Tom would know what I tried to do. And, God, he just looked at it while I was explaining and I thought, he's not really listening, it's cool, I think he likes it, it's fine, and by then I was ready when he went for the camera, so I just held the envelope out to stop him, and he takes it while I explain that there's one in there for him. And he says, "There's one of these in here? For me?" And I say, "Yeah, it's the original," And he says, "The Original?!" like that's something amazing, and then I realised I didn't tell the others THAT either, because I'm basically a total starstruck idiot, but whatever.
He looked up with the biggest smile on his face and started telling me that it's coming to his house, where he's redecorating, and he's going to put it up on his wall. I laughed, thinking, OH YOU ARE SMOOOOOOTH, and said "I'll be thrilled if it makes it as far as the hotel room." He looked at me and shook his head and said, "Shut up, I'm serious! It's going on the wall," and then i think I may have left my body for a moment.
When we walked away, we were completely emotionally raw, I swear to god. All of them had been so gracious and generous with their time, I can't even express the joy of meeting them and finding out just how genuinely lovely they are. We went off to sit and decompress, and then it was time for the final panel which was open to all the fans. I'm pretty sure there's other sources, but the amazing nu_breed managed to get a few recordings from the panel (before we were told we had to stop) so here's one linked from her Tumblr - I know there are a couple of others on there too and also amazing photos taken by the fabulous vileseagulls but I'm honestly too tired to find them right now (eta: THANK YOU nu_breed for THIS LINK TO THE VIDS). I tweeted almost every Q&A from the panel, so I won't bother recounting it here, unless someone specifically wants that - let me know. My phone died literally after the last question, and I think I died with it. didn't want to go home. I'm still not ready to go home and I've been back for two days.
I'll put the art up on the other places a bit later. For now I'm just going to pass out. Thank you for letting me recount these amazing moments here. Special thanks to amphigoury for the Beta on these, and to those amazing people who encouraged me with the drawings. I love you asya_ana and sapphirescribe and magnolia822 and nu_breed and vileseagulls. I love everything. /THUD.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
ETA: Temporarily flocked for Eoin's granny reasons.