The Wanking Comment Fest

Mar 25, 2013 16:39

So earlier, I took the Arthur Wank Pledge, which I'm very excited about. However, I figured there was no harm in being an equal opportunity voyeur, right?

Also, Twitter encouraged me, and we all know how THAT ends, so.

Let The Wanking Comment Fest begin!Any fandom, any rating, any character or pairing as long as there's masturbation ( Read more... )

fandom: teen wolf, fandom: harry potter, fandom: star trek rpf, huzzah, squee, wanking, fandom: merlin rpf, fandom: vikings, wanking comment fest, not at all gratuitous, fandom: multifandom, fandom: the eagle, masturbation, smut

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True Potency fleete March 26 2013, 07:10:53 UTC
“Are you done yet?”

“Stop asking that,” Merlin hisses from the other side of the tree.

Arthur lets his head fall back against the bark. “You’re taking forever.”

“Well, I’m sorry if it’s difficult for me to do this with you listening. Sincerest apologies,” Merlin says acidly. There’s a sound like he’s spitting into his hand again, and then those wet little squelches start up once more.

Arthur scoffs to cover up the sounds. “Difficult for you? Who’s been cursed by a perverted witch, hmm? I believe that’s me.”

“You’ll live,” Merlin says, a little breathlessly.

“How do you know? She could be lying. In fact, she probably was lying. She just wants us to try this absurd…solution so that she can laugh at us.” Arthur grimaces, casting a wary eye at the nearby trees.

Merlin doesn’t say anything, just breathes in an unnecessarily loud fashion. The slick sounds have escalated to an explicit fwap-fwap-fwap.

Arthur shifts against the tree, scratches at his head. “Are you done yet?”

The wet sounds pause. “Arthur. I need you to stop talking.”

“Fine.”

Except it is anything but fine, when Merlin starts up again, and there is nothing to distract Arthur from the panting, and the pumping, and the little whine that Merlin tries to swallow down but that Arthur hears anyway.

Arthur clears his throat.

“Arthur.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“Arthur,” Merlin says, and his voice is tight, like he’s trying keep it level.

“What.”

“Arthur, it’s- I’m going to-”

Arthur scrambles, nearly tripping over the tree roots in his hurry to get around the tree. He tries not to look, but it’s impossible when he drops to his knees and Merlin guides his head forward with one hand.

“Drink it,” Merlin gasps, and Arthur almost says I know indignantly, except he can’t, because his mouth is full of salty, bitter come. Arthur gags, but keeps it down, staring hard at the ground between Merlin’s boots.

He waits until Merlin has tucked himself away before he looks up. “Are they gone?”

Merlin’s head is tipped back against the tree trunk, and he’s still breathing hard. He reaches out and picks tiredly through Arthur’s hair, looking for any remains of furry cat ears. “Completely.”

“Right then. We shall never speak of this again.”

Merlin rolls his eyes. Arthur takes that as a yes.

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Re: True Potency alby_mangroves March 26 2013, 08:23:25 UTC
I've read this several times and I'm still laughing. This is too fantastic! Thank you so much for this awesome fill. It should come with a warning not to be drinking anything while reading!!! <3

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teprometo March 26 2013, 09:34:45 UTC
Holy fuck, this is brilliant! They are so fucking THEM, which makes this ... incredibly arousing for me. Haha. Um. Hmm. The awkwardness and the bitchiness and that undeniable tension. Yep. Okay. I'll be in my bunk.

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Re: True Potency xfortytwo March 26 2013, 11:33:46 UTC
LOL omg excellent

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thalialunacy March 26 2013, 12:20:34 UTC
hahahah amaaaaazeballs

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Re: True Potency wanderlust48 March 26 2013, 13:27:23 UTC
This was so hot and funny!!

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Re: True Potency magnolia822 March 26 2013, 13:32:53 UTC
NNNGHHH OMG that was both hot and hilarious and the CAT EARS OMG AHAHAHAHA. I really want more. (bet Arthur does too heh)

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Re: True Potency marguerite_26 March 26 2013, 13:41:30 UTC
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

yes!!!

so fabulous. :D :D

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Re: True Potency claudine March 26 2013, 13:53:04 UTC
SO MUCH LOVE FOR THIS HAHAHHAHA ♥

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Re: True Potency millionstar March 26 2013, 15:05:12 UTC
You just made my morning. That is brilliant!

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Re: True Potency geneva2010 March 26 2013, 16:31:56 UTC
I'm grinning from ear to ear. Brilliant!

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Re: True Potency oflittleuse March 26 2013, 18:16:05 UTC
Hahaha ... YES. Loved it!

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Re: True Potency sp_owl March 26 2013, 19:36:29 UTC
I commented on this in the wrong place the first time.
You can't blame this on me! No Gaius!
This was HOT! I could picture it move by move.

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Re: True Potency joan_waterhouse March 26 2013, 21:13:27 UTC
“Drink it,” Merlin gasps,
Dkjdbsjkdbdjbsbsjdj. I didn't see that coming.

This was fantastic. (Hurrah! For cat ears. ^-^)

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Re: True Potency dante_s_hell March 26 2013, 23:41:41 UTC
This was wonderful! I love that Arthur's talking and talking, distracting Merlin. Lol!

Thanks for filling the prompt!

And furry cat ears were truly inspired. Icing on the cake!

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Re: True Potency ememmyem March 30 2013, 21:14:58 UTC
Genius fic is genius.
Funny and smutty. Perfect.

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