10: You Can Still Be Free
"Remus... please hear me. I want you. Nobody else. I know who you are, I know how you are; I know the ups and downs and everything that goes with it. I. Still. Want. You."
"You've said as much already."
"Oh you! And it doesn't matter, does it! You're still so determined to move away, to shut down your heart and try to shut down mine..." She choked and hid her face in her hands, and suddenly he was beside her, his fingers brushing her windblown mouse-brown hair back behind her ear while she stumbled over more words. "It is not fair, Remus. I care about you as I've never, ever cared about anybody else, and believe me, I have grounds to compare. And you care for me too. I know you do. It is not fair to me, it is not fair to you either. Please..."
"Tonks... I couldn't. You say you know what goes with what I am--"
"With who you are!"
"With what I am! But you don't. And I do not want you to learn. For your own safety--"
That made her lower her palms and glare at him. "I have CHOSEN to put my safety at risk! You have chosen nothing, and you don't even want some safety for YOURSELF that I can provide, as little as it may be!"
"No. This... the heartache will go." He was looking down at the mud-stained golden leaves on the ground. "Hear me, Tonks. You can still be free - with time. Free of me. Free of this nightmare, of this curse. I can't allow myself to drag you down with me, and I. will. not."
Her words were quiet, as her very lonely-looking pair of eyes stayed on his face, watching, as if memorising it. Again. "How do you know it won't be me lifting you up for a flight, Remus? How can you know if you won't let me try?"
So she saw how his features crumbled in with pain, just for a moment.
So she heard the anguish in his voice. "No. Run away, far away. All who care for me, all who insist on staying close... all die. All partake in my curse. There is no other way. Nobody escapes it in the end. Don't make me do it again... Just... don't."
He turned away abruptly, took a few steps, and vanished without warning but with the familiar loud crack.
She stared at the point where he'd last stood, and whispered softly, "you are wrong, Remus Lupin. I can no longer fly without you. And I won't be free. If this be a curse... Just let me be cursed... with you."
Muse: Tonks ( Album claim link)
Fandom: Harry Potter
Word count: 449