No really, this is what we talk about!
And then there was "like first time overwrought emotional sex with like rose petals and shit. I would laugh so hard."
First time fic written by themselves! Slow steady seduction and all that crap. Ryan would make sure it was flower and artistic, Jon and Spencer make sure they get to the point and Brendon is in charge of punctuation.
Actually, maybe Spencer would be better. He just seems like a grammatically correct kind of person. Brendon could do the research or. Actually it would be pretty fucking adorable if he did punctuation. I can see him with a red pen behind one ear going like "Guys? I think this needs to be a semi-colon," and talking about dependent clauses and stuff.
Brendon the grammar/spelling Nazi. "This is a run on, Ryan! It hurts my eyes!" Jon can be in charge of research. People don't say no to Jon.
Seriously! Brendon gets so excited he accidentally scribbles on himself in red pen and Spencer is just like "Guys, this can't be a PWP. There has to be a plot!!" He knows the lingo, see??
Spencer keeps them on task and on plot. He's like, "Ryan. You're losing sight of the main idea." And Ryan's like "But! Rose petals!" And Jon's all "Have you done it on rose petals before, Ryan? Not that comfortable. Not that comfortable at all." And Ryan's like "MY ARTISTIC VISION."
Jon had to do it to find out, poor guy. And Ryan's like "Maybe bondage would convey the metaphor?" and Jon is like "Oh hell no!" so they keep it vanilla.
Gabe is down though. He’s like "My time to shine! William! Come here!" because you know the rest of the label gets as into the development of that story as they probably got into the development of the album, maybe more so because there's sex involved. And they're all excited and offering to help and shit.
And Travis keeps sending Ryan emails with like his favorite bondage websites and ideas and shit! Ryan is so psyched, there are new levels of the relationships to explore! Jon kind of wants to cry.
Jon's like "Ryan. I can't. Like, I physically can't!" And Ryan's all "Suck it up, loser! This is for art! Rub some lotion on it and stop crying, emo kid!" And Jon's like, I hate you, I'm going back to TAI.
But he can't leave them. Mostly because he's still tied up, although the gag has slipped enough for him to complain. Poor Jon. Brendon is still rambling about direct objects and past participles.
So Jon is tied to the bed, straining against his bonds and being like "Fuck this shit! Fuck it!" and Ryan and Spencer are standing at the end of the bed, contemplating, and Brendon's in the back all like "I don't think your verb and your object agree? Actually I'm gonna diagram it. Oh wait, never mind, it's cool! They do agree!" And Ryan's ignoring him and staring at the bed, and he's like "Is it hotter if I start with the feet or at the fingers?" And Spencer cocks his head and he's like "Do you really want to start with a limb though? Like, I was thinking chest. That would get you to the point faster." And Ryan's all "SpenCER. The point is poetry!" And meanwhile Jon is like, help me Thomas Conrad. You're my only hope. (Tom Conrad is no hope. Tom Conrad is IN CAHOOTS.)
And then Brendon diagrams it anyways because he wants to, okay? Grammar is hot. And Jon's like nearly crying and Ryan's like "Hey hold on, Jon, do that again. You know, that crying thing, that's good. That like, conveys the right emotion for this scene." And Spencer's nodding along sagely and then he says, "You know, maybe if you like licked the tears? That would be pretty symbolic, right?" And Ryan's like "Yes! You understand what I'm getting at here!" And Tom Conrad is just taking pictures.
Grammar is way hot! Brendon starts diagramming all the sentences and he finds that overall, Ryan has Pretty. Good. grammar, but not great. And he's a little superfluous with the punctuation. Good thing he has Brendon! And Spencer's all, that's great Brendon, what do you think about licking Jon's tears? Brendon also thinks that's pretty hot and he starts to make a note of it on his hand and Ryan's like "OH. MY. GOD." And then he's torn between licking Jon's tears and then kissing him (hot) or writing on Jon's skin (also hot). He figures he can work both in. Except, tears. How do someone else's tears taste? How does someone else's pain taste? Damn, that's so deep. Brendon, go lick Jon's tears. Brendon's all "No, I'm busy taking notes!" Spencer, go lick Jon's tears. "No, he's my notepad!" Brendon cries. "And besides you're the writer!" Tomrad, go- "Gtfo, I'm only here because Pete paid me to be. Do it yourself, you lazy ho."
Ryan's like, well fuck it, I guess I've got to. Someone has to make a noble sacrifice for this masterpiece. And I am the most apt for it, being the main artist and engineer. At this point Brendon is like hey WHAT? I'm busy fixing your Pretty. Stupid. grammar, man, so stfu. Spencer just rolls his eyes and is like, okay stop the soliloquy and get on with it! And Ryan's like hey, good word! Hm...and then he gets kind of distracted by the thought of some kind of monologue thrown in in the middle of the sex. But eventually he gets back on track. Jon, he says. Jon I'm going to lick your tears so keep them coming. Jon's like, hey man, no fucking problem. I'm crying like a girl over here. Ryan looks very pleased at this thought. TomRad is about to bust something laughing.
So Ryan contemplates and he's all ok. How do I-? Hmm. He contemplates so much that Spencer shoves him onto the bed so he just has to crawl up Jon's (naked, bound-up) body and settle over Jon's chest. Jon is actually crying and Ryan feels bad for about five seconds but then he remembers his artistic vision is totally worth Jon's pain. He bends down and licks the tears off of Jon's cheeks and it should be gross but it's salty and wet and tastes like Jon, and Jon just stills when Ryan cups his cheek. Yeah. Yeah, this is totally the most perfect metaphor ever, Ryan's thinking of saving it for the album. It's just, like, so great. Pete will be so proud. Spencer sighs. They'll never get on task now. Tomrad takes a picture. Ryan kisses Jon and even though the mindfuck of Jon's tears on Ryan's tongue in Jon's mouth is kind of huge, Brendon makes a note on Spencer's wrist. Pretty. Hot.
Spencer just nods. The rational part of his mind--seriously diminished after this whole idea--is telling him he should cover Brendon's eyes and maybe run away. He's outvoted, helped along by Brendon's exhaled "Oh fuck." Spencer can see like the inside of Jon's mouth and wow, there goes Ryan's tongue. He's trying really hard to keep this clinical but Brendon's grip on his wrist is tight and when Spencer glances over, his eyes are wide and he's biting his lip.
Tomrad backs very slowly out of the room.
Ryan's trying to keep track of all the sensation so he can write about it - Jon, lifting his head up to meet him. The inside of Jon's mouth, wet, open. He splays his free hand across Jon's chest. Jon moans into his mouth. Ryan hopes Brendon is taking notes, but he can't be bothered to look over. Brendon is, for the record, watching, several kinds of things exploding in his stomach/heart/groin at once. He twists his grip on Spencer's wrist and Spencer gasps and turns on him. Brendon backs away but doesn't let go either and ends up pulling Spencer with him.
Spencer moves with him and takes the extra step necessary to bring them together. Behind him, he hears Jon make another noise against Ryan's mouth and that makes him feel better about taking Brendon's face with his free hand and pulling him even closer. Brendon is the one though, to kiss him first, and his lips are soft like Spencer wouldn't expect them to be. Someone--Spencer is afraid to think that it's him--makes a noise and then Brendon's back hits the far wall and his arms slip over Spencer's shoulders and they are pressed up against each other as close as is physically possible. Spencer twists his hips against Brendon's and they both moan.
"Fuck, look," Jon says and pulls away from Ryan to look over his shoulder.
Ryan is conflicted. Does he keep making out with Jon for research or study two subjects who moved to their conclusion over their own free will? It's difficult, it's really difficult.
Spencer makes Brendon moan, making Spencer moan. Ryan sits back on Jon's chest and stares. So does Jon. "That's not research," says Jon.
"You're redundant," says Ryan.
"You gotta fill me in what you think, man."
Brendon slides his hands down to Spencer's back pockets and squeezes. Jon lifts his head off the bed and stares, open-mouthed. "Fuck," says Jon.
"Fuck yeah," says Ryan, hand on Jon's shoulder. He leans down again.
Pete appears in the doorway with a video camera. "Oh fuck!"
At that, Spencer and Brendon pull apart quickly, surreptitiously trying to wipe their mouths and straighten out their appearances. Pete is doing a little jig and the camera is tilting so wildly he'll be lucky to even get their faces on it.
Ryan doesn't move from his perch on Jon's chest though. "Hey," he says. "Come to join the research?" He asks this very seriously.
"If by research you mean orgy, then yes," Pete says. "Tom called me as soon as he got out of the room. I came as fast as I could."
Spencer wants to sink through the floor maybe a little. "I'm going to go. Um, possibly cry. Where no one can lick my tears."
Pete's eyes nearly pop out of his head. "Is that code? Fuck I hope that's code! Jesus, who knew you guys were such nymphos?"
"That's not a code," says Jon. He shakes a hand. "That's for real."
"We're writing a story," says Ryan. And three-person orgy would be so symbolic, he thinks. So, so symbolic. Maybe in the first chapter, and it marks how far away their relationship has fallen from stability and normalcy and then they just delve deeper into this crazed world of sex and drugs and sideshow acts and-
"Fuck," says Spencer. "Um, you know what? Me and Brendon. We're gonna. Go cry now. Bye, Pete."
"Peace motherfuckers," says Brendon. Spencer grabs his arm and runs out, shouting for Tom. Jon laughs, rumbling under Ryan's touch.
"That though," Jon says. "That was code. If you missed it."
Pete nods sagely. There is silence for a moment. "So," he says. "Can I join in?"