Ghosts of a Future Lost
Title: Ghosts of a Future Lost
Characters/Pairing: Maya/Gabriel
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 1,940
Disclaimer: Do not own.
Summery: He arrives at her home, maybe for the hundredth time, maybe the first.
Note: AU. This was going to be just PWP but I had an idea. But still really just smut ;)
Fat flakes of snow drift soft and silent, the wind calm but would sting bitterly if it came up. He appears with a sound of a candle being snuffed out, a plume of smoke billowing from his open mouth and he immediately wraps his arms around his torso, hands jammed under his armpits. He was not attired for the weather and the cold seeps in.
A beige caravan stands before a grove of tall trees, limbs leafless but dusted with snow and he watches as clumps of it fall onto the roof. He doesn't immediately go towards it, he doesn't feel as composed as he should, his body still jittery from the journey here. He circles it instead, repeatedly, until a deep track environs around the small home. Bottom of his jeans soaked and his feet cold as ice he comes to a stop again, gritting his teeth.
He had nothing to be apprehensive about, he might just be here for a few seconds, minutes at the most. Hours? In and out and no one would know. But that gut writhing feeling would not go away.
"Shit..." hands stuffed in his pockets he prepares to turn when the squawk of icy hinges shoots through the air and he freezes, back half turned.
"Gabriel?!" Her voice is croaky, husky. He remembered waking to it, many years ago now. Remembers when she would talk herself in a sore throat and then no voice at all would follow. He turns to her, his mouth open and face white, cheeks and nose red.
Very long black hair spills over her shoulders and down her back, straggly, like she'd just woken. An over-sized sweater, stripped pajama bottoms and thick socks. Frumpy, something to lounge around the house in. Her appearance hasn't changed, her hair longer and her face a touch fuller perhaps but all recognisable. She appears stunned, face unreadable but for that emotion.
The effect her appearance has on him is electric, stronger then he ever conceived it would or could be. Struck into paralysis, feeling like he's been punched in the gut he exhales a wounded breath as she repeats his name, her surprise fading. She appears to be holding herself back, the hand curled around the door handle white and shaking. Tensing himself he swallows and takes a step back but before he can she's propelling herself forward, hair streaming behind her.
A this point the flurries of snow have become thicker, falling faster so that her face is obscured by it and adding the snow in his eyes he has no idea what it about to happen. So when she launches herself at him Gabriel's not sure if he's more surprised by the fact she hasn't attacked him or that she's hugging him.
"What took you so long?! Don't they have telephones at that place?!" she demands, hanging off his neck and he stares speechless, not sure what to say. She rolls her eyes and then smiles and it's breathtakingly lovely. "I've missed you..." she tweaks his cold red nose gently.
"I - I...your feet, you haven't got any shoes on." He replies, dazed and her face becomes sensual with tenderness, chest expanding against his. Her hands run through his hair and he shifts her soft weight in his arms, pushing her against him as she presses her open mouth to his. Her lips, breath and tongue are scorching but he kisses back without hesitation.
A long absence on both parts makes their encounter explosive and he's unready for it but goes with the rush. Picking her up he stumbles through the snow and into her caravan. Warmth is blissful and they both sigh, their lips red and tingly as they part for a moment. He just has a momentary impression of the surroundings - couch, hundreds of books, pots and pans and the overwhelming smell of baked sweetness before she tugging him down a narrow gangway towards the bedroom, kicking off her soggy soaks with a coyness he had only ever glimpsed. She was now owning the sensuality that appeared on the surface, something he thought she either shied away from or was never aware of. She's grown into herself.
"Like a Who nose..."
"Que?"
"Nothing." Frowning with a smile she sits down on the bed and pulls him towards her by his belt and begins to unbuckle it as quickly as she can. His stomach turns over and all the air escapes from his lungs. Jeans falling around his cold ankles she looks up at him and tilts her head at his startled expression.
"Too fast? Maybe you should sleep first, you do look tired carino."
More then you will ever, ever know. He thinks with a gentle and weary nihilism. He smiles and combs his fingers through her hair and she closes her eyes at the gesture, pleasured by it. He stares longingly at her face, feeling nostalgic but with it an ache in his chest becomes more apparent. Any time he thought about Maya a deep shame and regret would plague him so he made himself stop, it wasn't an emotion he would allow himself to feel. It was weak, all that kind of sensation is lethal, it can and has broken him and it wasn't something he wanted to experience again.
Now he had to face it every moment of his uncertain and surreal existence.
He pushes her down and she rips the sweater over her head, her breasts bare and full. She crawls back into the corner of the bed where large pillows are piled up in the crevice and lifts her hips up as he lets his boxers fall, his movements far more hasty, less precise as the need for her surges until he's stretching out his body over her, pushing her deeper into the pillows. Possessiveness, something he can now admit to being shamed by, is still overwhelmingly powerful for this woman, someone he feels he has a claim to like no other and it's no different now. Lips kissing her passionately and unrestrained he lifts his hips up as she snakes a hand between them to grasp him boldly, making him groan into her mouth. Pulling away he looks down at her, breathing hard.
"How many times have we done this? Do you think?"
Her mouth draws up at the corner, one eye squints as she shrugs. "I dunno, too many times to count. Fuck Gabriel, stop...stopping!""
He tuts at her language, eyes sparking with humour as she whines and begins to writhe against him, their bodies beginning to sweat. He dips down to kiss her skin and cup a breast as she spreads her legs wide and begins to guide him to her. Feeling a jab of nerves he holds his breath and becomes very still as he starts to penetrate. Her hand leaves his shaft and she circles her legs around his back, the feel of skin silky smooth and he groans aloud as he slowly sinks deeper into her, savouring the sensation. But she bucks her hips upwards, submerging him fully into her wetness and begins to tighten and relax around him with small grunt like noises. He gasps, eyes springing open. She stares at him with amusement and her hands cup his face.
"Just like the first time, you're even shaking. Something is wrong." she narrows her eyes, worried.
"No, no, no. I just really...really wanted to to this for a very long time and I didn't want it to be over before it's begun. And I didn't want to hurt you," he added and she smiles softly, kissing his mouth before wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
"You're sweet but I know what you're like, it's ok. Don't hold back, we stopped doing that a long time ago..." she stares into his eyes and he's struck by the age in them. A different kind of darkness from her suffering he was witness to. He plants a kiss on her cheek and levelling himself up on his hands begins a hard and steady rhythm that quickly progresses into pounding. She directs the thrusts half the time, her body arching off the bed and her breasts crushed to his chest as he tries to keep up. It was not like TV, there was no music and it was awkward for him at first but it grew into a very satisfying experience as he came deep inside her, grunting like an animal as she stopped breathing, almost choked on her orgasm that peaked before his.
Sated they lie together, Maya with her eyes closed while Gabriel keeps his gaze drifting around the room, forcing himself to remember the details. A cross on the wall, of course. Little ornaments of angels and saints that remind him of his mother. Not a new feeling. Pictures of them are everywhere, mostly from the same place. He's in a dressing gown and wheelchair, she's seated on the arm or his lap while a pretty and professional looking woman smiles broadly behind them. They look happy. There was a picture of her brother, very much alive. A father. Every time he expects children but it looks like he lucked out again. He runs the palm of his hand over her hip and across her belly and she smiles, eyes still shut.
"Don't tickle me."
"I won't...I'm sorry." It breathes out of him, almost unheard.
"What?" eyes blink open slowly, sleepy and he leans closer to her.
"I said I'm sorry."
"What for?"
He stares at her for a very long time before snorting a humourless laugh and looks upwards, rubbing his suddenly itchy eyes, biting his tongue. This was perfect and awful all at once. Gabriel sighs and lowers his arm to hook it around her, bringing her flush against him. He plays with her hair as he speaks softly.
"It doesn't matter. I just had this really weird dream and it's stayed with me."
"What happened?"
"Well...I'm in this white room, a lab and I'm strapped down to a bed. I'm connected to all these machines and I'm being watched. I can't see them but I know they're there. Their voices sound muffled...I'm being punished, I think I was in Hell."
"Punished? What for?" she rests her cheek in the palm of her hand, mildly concerned. Gabriel stares ahead.
"I guess I did something really bad, I dunno. But I feel like I deserve it...they make me live the futures I could have had and some are nightmarish but others..." he trials off, shaking his head and she rubs his chest soothingly. He finally stares into her eyes, gripping her face with restrained force. "Sometimes it's so perfect and I know it's not gonna last. And it's never ending, it won't stop and I don't think I can amend, in that I don't think it will make a difference. I've abased myself a hundred times over...I could be a thousand now."
She smiles reassuringly but he can see that she's concealing dread and it turns his stomach. She kisses his mouth and brushes down his hair, on top of him. "Hmm but it's just a dream Gabriel, everything is ok. In the morning we'll call Doctor Gibson, she'll set things right and you'll see that it's nothing to be sacred of." Planting one more long, deep kiss she rolls of him to the side and prepares to sleep, hand clasping his. But he can't sleep with her, no matter how much he wants to.
"I'm Sam Beckett, I'm Sam Beckett...I am Sam."
He shuts his eyes, grips her tight and prepares himself.
Characters/Pairing: Maya/Gabriel
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 1,940
Disclaimer: Do not own.
Summery: He arrives at her home, maybe for the hundredth time, maybe the first.
Note: AU. This was going to be just PWP but I had an idea. But still really just smut ;)
Fat flakes of snow drift soft and silent, the wind calm but would sting bitterly if it came up. He appears with a sound of a candle being snuffed out, a plume of smoke billowing from his open mouth and he immediately wraps his arms around his torso, hands jammed under his armpits. He was not attired for the weather and the cold seeps in.
A beige caravan stands before a grove of tall trees, limbs leafless but dusted with snow and he watches as clumps of it fall onto the roof. He doesn't immediately go towards it, he doesn't feel as composed as he should, his body still jittery from the journey here. He circles it instead, repeatedly, until a deep track environs around the small home. Bottom of his jeans soaked and his feet cold as ice he comes to a stop again, gritting his teeth.
He had nothing to be apprehensive about, he might just be here for a few seconds, minutes at the most. Hours? In and out and no one would know. But that gut writhing feeling would not go away.
"Shit..." hands stuffed in his pockets he prepares to turn when the squawk of icy hinges shoots through the air and he freezes, back half turned.
"Gabriel?!" Her voice is croaky, husky. He remembered waking to it, many years ago now. Remembers when she would talk herself in a sore throat and then no voice at all would follow. He turns to her, his mouth open and face white, cheeks and nose red.
Very long black hair spills over her shoulders and down her back, straggly, like she'd just woken. An over-sized sweater, stripped pajama bottoms and thick socks. Frumpy, something to lounge around the house in. Her appearance hasn't changed, her hair longer and her face a touch fuller perhaps but all recognisable. She appears stunned, face unreadable but for that emotion.
The effect her appearance has on him is electric, stronger then he ever conceived it would or could be. Struck into paralysis, feeling like he's been punched in the gut he exhales a wounded breath as she repeats his name, her surprise fading. She appears to be holding herself back, the hand curled around the door handle white and shaking. Tensing himself he swallows and takes a step back but before he can she's propelling herself forward, hair streaming behind her.
A this point the flurries of snow have become thicker, falling faster so that her face is obscured by it and adding the snow in his eyes he has no idea what it about to happen. So when she launches herself at him Gabriel's not sure if he's more surprised by the fact she hasn't attacked him or that she's hugging him.
"What took you so long?! Don't they have telephones at that place?!" she demands, hanging off his neck and he stares speechless, not sure what to say. She rolls her eyes and then smiles and it's breathtakingly lovely. "I've missed you..." she tweaks his cold red nose gently.
"I - I...your feet, you haven't got any shoes on." He replies, dazed and her face becomes sensual with tenderness, chest expanding against his. Her hands run through his hair and he shifts her soft weight in his arms, pushing her against him as she presses her open mouth to his. Her lips, breath and tongue are scorching but he kisses back without hesitation.
A long absence on both parts makes their encounter explosive and he's unready for it but goes with the rush. Picking her up he stumbles through the snow and into her caravan. Warmth is blissful and they both sigh, their lips red and tingly as they part for a moment. He just has a momentary impression of the surroundings - couch, hundreds of books, pots and pans and the overwhelming smell of baked sweetness before she tugging him down a narrow gangway towards the bedroom, kicking off her soggy soaks with a coyness he had only ever glimpsed. She was now owning the sensuality that appeared on the surface, something he thought she either shied away from or was never aware of. She's grown into herself.
"Like a Who nose..."
"Que?"
"Nothing." Frowning with a smile she sits down on the bed and pulls him towards her by his belt and begins to unbuckle it as quickly as she can. His stomach turns over and all the air escapes from his lungs. Jeans falling around his cold ankles she looks up at him and tilts her head at his startled expression.
"Too fast? Maybe you should sleep first, you do look tired carino."
More then you will ever, ever know. He thinks with a gentle and weary nihilism. He smiles and combs his fingers through her hair and she closes her eyes at the gesture, pleasured by it. He stares longingly at her face, feeling nostalgic but with it an ache in his chest becomes more apparent. Any time he thought about Maya a deep shame and regret would plague him so he made himself stop, it wasn't an emotion he would allow himself to feel. It was weak, all that kind of sensation is lethal, it can and has broken him and it wasn't something he wanted to experience again.
Now he had to face it every moment of his uncertain and surreal existence.
He pushes her down and she rips the sweater over her head, her breasts bare and full. She crawls back into the corner of the bed where large pillows are piled up in the crevice and lifts her hips up as he lets his boxers fall, his movements far more hasty, less precise as the need for her surges until he's stretching out his body over her, pushing her deeper into the pillows. Possessiveness, something he can now admit to being shamed by, is still overwhelmingly powerful for this woman, someone he feels he has a claim to like no other and it's no different now. Lips kissing her passionately and unrestrained he lifts his hips up as she snakes a hand between them to grasp him boldly, making him groan into her mouth. Pulling away he looks down at her, breathing hard.
"How many times have we done this? Do you think?"
Her mouth draws up at the corner, one eye squints as she shrugs. "I dunno, too many times to count. Fuck Gabriel, stop...stopping!""
He tuts at her language, eyes sparking with humour as she whines and begins to writhe against him, their bodies beginning to sweat. He dips down to kiss her skin and cup a breast as she spreads her legs wide and begins to guide him to her. Feeling a jab of nerves he holds his breath and becomes very still as he starts to penetrate. Her hand leaves his shaft and she circles her legs around his back, the feel of skin silky smooth and he groans aloud as he slowly sinks deeper into her, savouring the sensation. But she bucks her hips upwards, submerging him fully into her wetness and begins to tighten and relax around him with small grunt like noises. He gasps, eyes springing open. She stares at him with amusement and her hands cup his face.
"Just like the first time, you're even shaking. Something is wrong." she narrows her eyes, worried.
"No, no, no. I just really...really wanted to to this for a very long time and I didn't want it to be over before it's begun. And I didn't want to hurt you," he added and she smiles softly, kissing his mouth before wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
"You're sweet but I know what you're like, it's ok. Don't hold back, we stopped doing that a long time ago..." she stares into his eyes and he's struck by the age in them. A different kind of darkness from her suffering he was witness to. He plants a kiss on her cheek and levelling himself up on his hands begins a hard and steady rhythm that quickly progresses into pounding. She directs the thrusts half the time, her body arching off the bed and her breasts crushed to his chest as he tries to keep up. It was not like TV, there was no music and it was awkward for him at first but it grew into a very satisfying experience as he came deep inside her, grunting like an animal as she stopped breathing, almost choked on her orgasm that peaked before his.
Sated they lie together, Maya with her eyes closed while Gabriel keeps his gaze drifting around the room, forcing himself to remember the details. A cross on the wall, of course. Little ornaments of angels and saints that remind him of his mother. Not a new feeling. Pictures of them are everywhere, mostly from the same place. He's in a dressing gown and wheelchair, she's seated on the arm or his lap while a pretty and professional looking woman smiles broadly behind them. They look happy. There was a picture of her brother, very much alive. A father. Every time he expects children but it looks like he lucked out again. He runs the palm of his hand over her hip and across her belly and she smiles, eyes still shut.
"Don't tickle me."
"I won't...I'm sorry." It breathes out of him, almost unheard.
"What?" eyes blink open slowly, sleepy and he leans closer to her.
"I said I'm sorry."
"What for?"
He stares at her for a very long time before snorting a humourless laugh and looks upwards, rubbing his suddenly itchy eyes, biting his tongue. This was perfect and awful all at once. Gabriel sighs and lowers his arm to hook it around her, bringing her flush against him. He plays with her hair as he speaks softly.
"It doesn't matter. I just had this really weird dream and it's stayed with me."
"What happened?"
"Well...I'm in this white room, a lab and I'm strapped down to a bed. I'm connected to all these machines and I'm being watched. I can't see them but I know they're there. Their voices sound muffled...I'm being punished, I think I was in Hell."
"Punished? What for?" she rests her cheek in the palm of her hand, mildly concerned. Gabriel stares ahead.
"I guess I did something really bad, I dunno. But I feel like I deserve it...they make me live the futures I could have had and some are nightmarish but others..." he trials off, shaking his head and she rubs his chest soothingly. He finally stares into her eyes, gripping her face with restrained force. "Sometimes it's so perfect and I know it's not gonna last. And it's never ending, it won't stop and I don't think I can amend, in that I don't think it will make a difference. I've abased myself a hundred times over...I could be a thousand now."
She smiles reassuringly but he can see that she's concealing dread and it turns his stomach. She kisses his mouth and brushes down his hair, on top of him. "Hmm but it's just a dream Gabriel, everything is ok. In the morning we'll call Doctor Gibson, she'll set things right and you'll see that it's nothing to be sacred of." Planting one more long, deep kiss she rolls of him to the side and prepares to sleep, hand clasping his. But he can't sleep with her, no matter how much he wants to.
"I'm Sam Beckett, I'm Sam Beckett...I am Sam."
He shuts his eyes, grips her tight and prepares himself.