moving on? definately moving.
So here I am back at Wheaton. It's so wierd to be back, but nice too. It's like nothing has changed--the campus is still beautiful, etc. It just sucks a little bit to be back alone again. It was so nice to be home with my family. I miss them so much already even though I'm not very far away... I wish I got more than a week with them. I will def. have to go home often. And I mean I have friends who are at Wheaton for the summer, but not any of my closest friends. I had such an awesome time at Carilyn's graduation party last Fri. night, I met Tia and Nikki before then, 2 of my best friends, and then Tia and I went to Carilyn's grad. party. Carilyn is also one of my best friends. Allison, Liana, Caitlin, and Nathalie were at Carilyn's too, so it was awesome to see them again and to catch up. So after being surrounded by friends and family for a week, its pretty lonely here in this room by myself. Alexandra will be here in a week though (another one of my best friends--like a sister actually). So then I'm sure I'll feel much better, but sucks for now. And of course when I get lonely I have lots of time to think...lovely. So last week while I was at home I hung out with my friend Francis twice. The first time he ran to my house (8 miles) to see me bc we didn't have our cars at that point, so we hung out that whole day watching movies or whatnot. Then we went ot see the DaVinci Code on Thursday, and he like held my hand and led me into the dark theater (bc we were a little late--actually not my fault!), let me lean my head on his shoulder and stuff, it was just so nice. He's one of my best friends from home, so I'm not sure that we'd ever date or anything like that, and I dont have those kind of feelings for him at this point in time, but it was just so nice to feel and see how someone cares. And it made me really want that and miss that. I havent had a bf in a while now, and Im starting to feel like it could be about that time. And as for Josh, I can take a hint. There was no real effort to stay in touch with me while I was away, and I haven't heard from him since I've been back. I can't chase him or make him want a relationship. I have no idea if he even still likes me, or how many girls hes been with since I've been gone if any, or if he just still doesnt want a relationship because of family things hes going through, but whatever the case may be, I don't think I can survive another semester like last fall. I hate waiting to be let down. When you know it's coming but you just can't help but to wait it's the worst. So, I decided today I'm going to try to put all remaining feelings for Josh aside and look for something new. Hard, but necessary I suppose. So, gonna go to bed bc I got up early this morning (my something belt broke last night so I had to get up early this morning to get my car repaired and drive to Wheaton to move in and start work). Tomorrow I'm interviewing again for a senior intern position at my college, so wish me luck with that.
<3 Ashley
<3 Ashley