(no subject)
I often crave misery. for what reason? i dont know. but it seems to fullfill me. ill tell you all something. its been bothering me for the longest time. some people probably already know. i dont know how. maybe i told them and dont remember. maybe someone else today them.
but mr. green found out about my shoplifting problem and made me have a "meeting" with him. i made him swear not to tell anyone about it. he thought i needed therapy because i felt thrills when stealing stuff. when i told him i felt empty when receiving happiness, but full and a bit 'wonderful' in some odd way when I was in an atmosphere of misery, he thought i had some real problems.
He leaned back in his usual smirk way, with his feet on the desk, as if he were a therapist, and it bugged me. but somehow, strangely, i liked the fact that i was being called into a "meeting", even if it annoyed me and i would rather die at the time than have other people find out,but i liked the attention i was getting.
when i realized how much i liked this i got 'reckless'..well not really...but a bit. i got creative, let's say. so then, on the back of my math test, i 'confessed' to mr. bhat about my problem. sort of. i dont think he ever took the hint.
I drew a picture of a girl shoplifting and then captioned it with:
'Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Lindsay Lohan isnt the only one with red hair.'
Now that i think about it, it would be sort of difficult to figure out what i was talking about. But anyway, for some reason, I currently am craving happiness. Not a lot of it. But just a bit, to feel devoid of my norm. I suppose I'm craving change more than anything. I cant stand to be in the same mood, or atmosphere for too long, before I blow a brain stem.
Ive been reading the book Wicked, The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West for a couple weeks now. I'm about 3/4 done. It isnt too terribly long. I wrote some of my favorite quotes on a piece of paper but lost it. Oh well. I suppose I'm sort of in an indifferent, nuetral mood more than anything else.
But heres some quotes, Im just skimming through the book and stopping at ok ones at random:
"There's tunnels from here all the way to hell," said Irji.
"Where? Why?" said Nor, and Liir echoed.
"They're hidden. I dont know where. But everybody says so. Ask Six. I think because this used to be a waterworks headquarters-it did. Hell burs so hot they need water, and the devils tunneled up to here."
"It was the bees," said someone, full of rage.
"Oh was it? came Elphie's calm voice. "Theyve been asleep for so long. Wouldnt there have been screams if they'd attacked a man in the middle of the night? Did the bees sting his througth first, to swell his vocal chords shut? Very talented bees, those."
"It was the bees," was the mutter, and the implication was clear. You too.
"It's over the garden wall," said Elphaba, "and were going to see the Wizard, come what may and hell to pay."
Wizard: "The thing is, my green girlie, it is not for a girl, or a student, or a citizen to assess what is wrong. It is the job of the leaders, and why we exist."
Elphaba: "But then nothing would keep me from assassinating you, did I not know what wrong was."
THIS ONE IS REALLY GOOD!!!
"...A boy needs a good helping of cold anger."
"Cold anger?"
"Oh yes, dont you know that distinction? Tribal mothers always tell their children that there aret two kinds of anger: hot and cold. Boys and girls experience both, but as they grow up the angers separate according to the sex. Boys need hot anger to survive. They need the inclination to fight, the drive to sink the knife into the flesh, the energy and initative of fure. It's a requirement of hunting, of defense of pride. Maybe of sex too."
...."And girls need cold anger. They need the cold simmer, the ceaseless grudge, the talent to avoid forgiveness, the sidestepping of compromise. They needto know when they say something that they will never bak down, ever, ever, It's the compensation for a more limited scope in teh world. Cross and man and you struggle, one of you wins, you adjust and go on -or you lie there dead. Cross and woman and the universe is changed, once again, for cold anger requires an eternal vigilance in all matters of slight and offence."
....She watched the sun bleed ice water out of the icicle. Warm and cold working together to make an icicle. fury, Warm and cold working together to make a fury worthy enough to use as a weapon against the old things that still needed fighting. .....Liir survived, but Manek did not. The icicle that Elphaba trained her gaze on, thinking on the weapons one needed to fight such abuse-it broke like a lance from the eaves, and drove whistling downward, and caught him in the skull as he went out to find some new way of beleaugering Liir.
ok im done, gotta go sing to All the pretty little horses
but mr. green found out about my shoplifting problem and made me have a "meeting" with him. i made him swear not to tell anyone about it. he thought i needed therapy because i felt thrills when stealing stuff. when i told him i felt empty when receiving happiness, but full and a bit 'wonderful' in some odd way when I was in an atmosphere of misery, he thought i had some real problems.
He leaned back in his usual smirk way, with his feet on the desk, as if he were a therapist, and it bugged me. but somehow, strangely, i liked the fact that i was being called into a "meeting", even if it annoyed me and i would rather die at the time than have other people find out,but i liked the attention i was getting.
when i realized how much i liked this i got 'reckless'..well not really...but a bit. i got creative, let's say. so then, on the back of my math test, i 'confessed' to mr. bhat about my problem. sort of. i dont think he ever took the hint.
I drew a picture of a girl shoplifting and then captioned it with:
'Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Lindsay Lohan isnt the only one with red hair.'
Now that i think about it, it would be sort of difficult to figure out what i was talking about. But anyway, for some reason, I currently am craving happiness. Not a lot of it. But just a bit, to feel devoid of my norm. I suppose I'm craving change more than anything. I cant stand to be in the same mood, or atmosphere for too long, before I blow a brain stem.
Ive been reading the book Wicked, The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West for a couple weeks now. I'm about 3/4 done. It isnt too terribly long. I wrote some of my favorite quotes on a piece of paper but lost it. Oh well. I suppose I'm sort of in an indifferent, nuetral mood more than anything else.
But heres some quotes, Im just skimming through the book and stopping at ok ones at random:
"There's tunnels from here all the way to hell," said Irji.
"Where? Why?" said Nor, and Liir echoed.
"They're hidden. I dont know where. But everybody says so. Ask Six. I think because this used to be a waterworks headquarters-it did. Hell burs so hot they need water, and the devils tunneled up to here."
"It was the bees," said someone, full of rage.
"Oh was it? came Elphie's calm voice. "Theyve been asleep for so long. Wouldnt there have been screams if they'd attacked a man in the middle of the night? Did the bees sting his througth first, to swell his vocal chords shut? Very talented bees, those."
"It was the bees," was the mutter, and the implication was clear. You too.
"It's over the garden wall," said Elphaba, "and were going to see the Wizard, come what may and hell to pay."
Wizard: "The thing is, my green girlie, it is not for a girl, or a student, or a citizen to assess what is wrong. It is the job of the leaders, and why we exist."
Elphaba: "But then nothing would keep me from assassinating you, did I not know what wrong was."
THIS ONE IS REALLY GOOD!!!
"...A boy needs a good helping of cold anger."
"Cold anger?"
"Oh yes, dont you know that distinction? Tribal mothers always tell their children that there aret two kinds of anger: hot and cold. Boys and girls experience both, but as they grow up the angers separate according to the sex. Boys need hot anger to survive. They need the inclination to fight, the drive to sink the knife into the flesh, the energy and initative of fure. It's a requirement of hunting, of defense of pride. Maybe of sex too."
...."And girls need cold anger. They need the cold simmer, the ceaseless grudge, the talent to avoid forgiveness, the sidestepping of compromise. They needto know when they say something that they will never bak down, ever, ever, It's the compensation for a more limited scope in teh world. Cross and man and you struggle, one of you wins, you adjust and go on -or you lie there dead. Cross and woman and the universe is changed, once again, for cold anger requires an eternal vigilance in all matters of slight and offence."
....She watched the sun bleed ice water out of the icicle. Warm and cold working together to make an icicle. fury, Warm and cold working together to make a fury worthy enough to use as a weapon against the old things that still needed fighting. .....Liir survived, but Manek did not. The icicle that Elphaba trained her gaze on, thinking on the weapons one needed to fight such abuse-it broke like a lance from the eaves, and drove whistling downward, and caught him in the skull as he went out to find some new way of beleaugering Liir.
ok im done, gotta go sing to All the pretty little horses