To the bastards at Taco Bell
Dear sirs,
The other night I found myself hungry and decided to think outside the bun and visit one of your resturants. Normally I would go to a real taqueria, seeing as how your food, comercials, and existance offends my culture and heritage, but I thought "what the hell." Also, somehow, everything on the Taco Bell menu goes extemely well with Wild Cherry Pepsi. Anyway, I ordered a "grilled stuffed burrito" WITHOUT salsa, and of course, when I got home and bit into it I got a mouth full of your rancid "fiesta salsa." I guess it's my fault. For some reason I thought it would be easier just to leave one ingredient out while making my burrito, than to order it as it is and somehow sqeeze what I didn't like out of it.
Also, please do not compare any part of your corporation to Mexico or anything Mexican. Yes, we Mexicans have been know to eat beans and rice, but if you go to Mexico and ask someone for a "Meximelt," you might get punched in the face... by me. That's like going to a fine Italian bistro and asking for a plate of Chef Boyardee Beeferoni.
Other than that, you're doing a bang up job, Taco Bell. I don't want to say "Keep up the GOOD work," so I guess just keep up the work.
signed,
Alberto Martinez (dictated but not read)
The other night I found myself hungry and decided to think outside the bun and visit one of your resturants. Normally I would go to a real taqueria, seeing as how your food, comercials, and existance offends my culture and heritage, but I thought "what the hell." Also, somehow, everything on the Taco Bell menu goes extemely well with Wild Cherry Pepsi. Anyway, I ordered a "grilled stuffed burrito" WITHOUT salsa, and of course, when I got home and bit into it I got a mouth full of your rancid "fiesta salsa." I guess it's my fault. For some reason I thought it would be easier just to leave one ingredient out while making my burrito, than to order it as it is and somehow sqeeze what I didn't like out of it.
Also, please do not compare any part of your corporation to Mexico or anything Mexican. Yes, we Mexicans have been know to eat beans and rice, but if you go to Mexico and ask someone for a "Meximelt," you might get punched in the face... by me. That's like going to a fine Italian bistro and asking for a plate of Chef Boyardee Beeferoni.
Other than that, you're doing a bang up job, Taco Bell. I don't want to say "Keep up the GOOD work," so I guess just keep up the work.
signed,
Alberto Martinez (dictated but not read)