Fic: When the Phone Rings
Fic: When the Phone Rings
Title: When the Phone Rings
Author: Albeckett
Disclaimer: Torchwood belongs to BBC.
Characters/Pairings: Ianto/Jack
Rating: PG
Summary: Jack's newest idea causes some grief for Ianto.
Ianto sat upstairs in the tourist office flipping through a magazine when the phone rang. He sighed deeply because he knew what was coming. “Ianto Jones how may I help you?” The voice on the other end began ranting and raving, Ianto pulled the phone away from his ear even at this distance he could hear the person perfectly. “Yes Sir, I know but… he was interrupted “No Sir I can’t …again he was interrupted. “Language like that is uncalled for Sir, no I will…before Ianto could finish the sentence the phone was removed from his hand. Ianto looked up and smiled gratefully at Jack. Jack had the phone to his ear listening to the caller as a scowl appeared on his face. “If you ever speak to Ianto Jones that way again you will find yourself dumped in the middle of the desert with no recollection of who you are do understand me?” Whatever the caller’s response was Jack just grunted and hung up the phone. “Jack that was the head of unit, you can’t talk to him like that let alone follow through with that threat.” “That wasn’t a threat." Ianto raised his eyebrow at Jack, “you could have fooled me.” “Ianto that was a promise no one gets to talk to you like that ever, I don’t care who they are.” Ianto smiled at Jack’s words. “Why was he going off like that anyway?” Jack’s question had Ianto scowling at him. “You can’t be serious, Jack laughed ‘he went off that way because of that; he really is crazy I need to report him.”
Jack and Ianto started walking to the lift to go back downstairs. “Jack you should have known people were going to have a problem with it.” “I don’t see what the big deal is.” Ianto sighed again sometimes Jack was such a child and for a man his age that was quite the achievement. “When are you going to fix it?” They had just made it downstairs and were entering through the cog door. “How did you change it, someone had to have helped you” he said glancing over at Tosh. “What you don’t thing I’m smart enough to figure out how to do it?” “Jack you don’t have the time or patience for that, and if you do have time well I’m obviously not keeping you busy enough.” With that said Ianto grabbed Jack by his braces pulling him closer and kissing him passionately. Jack groaned leaning deeper into the kiss. Ianto released Jack’s lips and started kissing a trail from his jaw to his ear; nibbling on his ear he whispered “you’re going to put it back the way it was aren’t you.” Ianto’s whispering causing Jack to shiver and groan. Shaking his head to release it from the sexual haze Ianto had put him in, Jack thought to himself "If he wants to play dirty two can play at this game.” Jack looked up at Ianto and gave him the puppy eyes and begged “Please Yan let me keep it the way it is, it’s just so much fun.” “Fine" Ianto relented he couldn't deny Jack when he looked at him like that. He walked over to Tosh "I know you’re the one to blame for this Toshiko Santo.” "I'm sorry Ianto.” She hung her head in shame but the look was ruined when a giggle escaped. “You know you can't encourage him when he gets like this.” "I know but he asked if it could be done to land lines and you know I can't pass up a challenge but I really am sorry." “It's ok it's not your fault I know how much he whines and begs to get what he wants and god forbid let him near the computers for him to have tried." "'Hey I am standing right here, stop talking like I’m not in the room.” Ianto winked at Tosh and turned to Jack patting him on the head “Of course we know you’re here” he replies like he's talking to a child. Jack scowls and swats Ianto's hand away. “You do realize I'm older than you; mumbling under his breath ‘give or take a century.” “Gasp I'm dating a senior citizen Tosh I'll see you later I have to go find someone young and hot like me.” Tosh giggles while Ianto starts heading back to the door. “I don't think so” Jack grabs Ianto around his waist pulling him flush against his body and nuzzling his neck causing Ianto to laugh. “I'm sorry sir" Ianto said laughing "your just to old for me.” “I didn't hear you complaining last night” Jack replied laughing. Ianto turned in Jack's arms and smacked him “not in front of others.” “Tosh doesn't mind do you Tosh.” “ No I don't mind I think it's cute.” “See she doesn't mind.” Ianto just rolls his eyes. “Oi what's with all the noise people are trying to sle... work around here and Jack why are you groping the tea boy.” Owen said catching himself before he said sleep. The others weren't fooled by Owen's slip, since it was quiet today Jack let Owen sleep with their hectic schedule he understood they had to nap when they got the chance. “We were just discussing Jack's newest idea.” “Oh what's he done now?” Jack looked at Ianto, “Go ahead and show him, he'd find out eventually anyway.” “Thanks,” he said stealing a quick kiss from Ianto, and with a huge smile on his face running over next to Tosh looking like a kid at Christmas. He picked up the phone dialed and put it on speaker:
Please enjoy the music while the subscriber you’re looking for is located-
The title held by me -- M.I.B.
Means what you think you saw, you did not see
So don't blink be what was there
is now gone, black suit with the black Ray Ban's on
Walk in shadow, move in silence
Guard against extra-terrestrial violence
But yo we ain't on no government list
We straight don't exist, no names and no fingerprints
Saw somethin strange, watch your back
Cause you never quite know where the M.I.B.'s is at
Uh and...
Here come the Men in Black (Men in Blaaaaack)
Galaxy defenders (oahhaooohh ohhhhh)
Here come the Men in Black (Men in Blaaaaack)
They won't let you remember
Uh uh, uh uh, now
from the deepest of the darkest of night
on the horizon, bright light enters sight tight
Cameras zoom, on the impending doom
But then like BOOM black suits fill the room up
With the quickness talk with the witnesses
Hypnotizer, neuralizer
Vivid memories turn to fantasies
Ain't no M.I.B.'s, can I please
do what we say that's the way we kick it
Yaknahmean? I see my noisy cricket get wicked on ya
We're your first, last and only line of defense
against the worst scum of the universe
So don't fear us, cheer us
If you ever get near us, don't jeer us, we're the fearless
M.I.B.'s, freezin up all the flack
(What's that stand for?) Men In Black
Well, Owen said “that’s sure to piss people off so good on you Jack.” Jack and Tosh laughed while Ianto just rolled his eyes.